thoughts to greet this sunny Saturday morning with

i know, waiting for that bright spot to materialize on a day that's not-so-bad will only drain the life out of me. i would rather post a self-directed survey on friendster to pass the time.

pass the time daw o! as if i would have the time to friggin do THAT. i would rather pass the time asleep. or cuddled up on a beanbag chair in front of my (perfectly-functioning, 14-inch) tv, watching an inspiring escapist movie. aha! my next project. all the tvs here at home are screwed up. how ironic that i just realized that two weeks ago, now that i'm working in television. and that beanbag chair is still bundled up in plastic at the showcase room of megamall.

what if i go to the fete dela musique tonight? sacrifice four or five hours that could be used to rest or start working on a script that's due in two days...in favor of the music and the company of friends i haven't seen in a long time? hard choice to make in these delicate times. knowing myself, i would only bleed from the pressure later. and then i'd go looking for that bright spot again. not lookin' forward to it. bad days must be survived without having to resort to coping mechanisms. and syet, bad days shouldn't come this way again, i pray. so goodbye, bright spot.

days would come when you wouldn't care to even comb your hair anymore. you simply have more urgent things to bother yourself with. so i wasn't surprised when a well-meaning college classmate (whom i'm working with now) matter-of-factly told me that she was willing to give me a makeover for free. haha! i wasn't surprised. i would give myself a makeover as well. and she was, after all, the stylist of that ultra-glam movie FENG SHUI. que horror...! not so sure, though, if i would want to look like Kris Aquino.

i happened by a band gig last night at megastrip (Fight Against Cancer charity thingie with guests Hale, Session Road, and other alternative rockers) and memories of the UP Fair came to mind. Suddenly I was sad, remembering someone. I'm always remembering things. I look back so much I should buy a rearview mirror.

what's with that bright spot anyway?

bright spot or a bad day

goodbye fete dela musique. won't be coming in this year. your day job can do the darndest things, i swear.

shot an avp today. i have no idea how i'll be able to squeeze in editing that thingie into my hectic barely-breathing schedule. let the lord organize my life for me. :-)

a bright spot on a bad day. you can't see the bright spot without having to go through the bad day. pwede bang yung bright spot na lang? para masaya. para walang katapusang golden days, like two years ago.

ramblings on a rainy night (or why i just had to write it out of me)

* Listening to Fiona Apple's throaty lulling voice. Her fault why I had to write this entry.
* It's the french spring once again. makes me remember of one year ago. Endless rain into a Coffee Bean and Green Tea cup...endless thoughts about some erstwhile special entity (a frog prince, it would turn out). Twas raining at that time. Rain and Fiona Apple can make you just...wanna stare out the window. Ramble on and on across the universe.
* Got a shoot tomorrow for a Gary Granada music video but i'm still up. I pray it doesn't rain. I pray we finish well and on time. I pray that this will turn out to be a landmark piece. Haha! High ambitions will only break your heart, honey. But the words really all just...roll off my tongue. Meaningless, empty. My hard drive's packed with data for the next minute. i live and breathe for the now and the temporary.
* If there's one thing about high school that I regret not having gone through it's young love. Awww. At 25 I realize that I might have missed somethin there (have I?). Being in love for the first time at 25 might not be the same as being in love for the first time at 16. (so that's the hazard of working around lots of young and beautiful people in love) S'okay. I learned the truth at 17, anyway.
* The rain can do strange things to you. It can to me. Suddenly I'm happy for some reason that I refuse to admit. I don't believe in happy endings anymore. I always get a shakeup. I always get jolted and before I know it I'm on the floor crying.
* Our show's on its third week and counting. The love stories are unfolding. What's exciting about them is that they're real. That's what happens when you bring together a bunch of teenagers, put in enough stimuli for romance. Awwww...
* Hohum sleepy. My head's throbbin like mad. Gotta go to bed now if I know what's good for that landmark piece.

adventures in the ice cream parlor

There IS a life out there, but for the next three months (or less...or more), the universe will only revolve around the show. A drastic change, but I've come to adapt the radical lifestyle of reality-television somehow. I'm learning by the minute. The ins, outs, and in-betweens. So take out the Extra Joss and follow it up with some astig Barako Iced Coffee, turn the phone on mute and play some funny-sad-happy song on the player, we have a deadline to meet baby! bring it ohwn!

I've recovered from semi-vampirism somehow. These past two nights I went to bed before 4 am. When usually I'd be up til 3pm and be uber-drowsy in the afternoons and early evenings. I pray that I won't have to go back to that ugly old habit. Cause it drains the youth out of me. Don't wanna end this show looking like a shriveled version of my 25-year-old self. I wonder though what's in store for me by August...only the good Lord knows! I place everything in His hands now, cause he seems to know where to take me. From Cebu to Baguio to the far-flung province of Tarlac to Bora to Subic to the polar regions of ABSCBN...he writes my own adventure. couldn't ask for more.

There's always something mighty fulfilling about seeing something you've worked on being born. Living, breathing. I wasn't the only parent in this case, there's a whole gallery of us working to assemble this little pageantry together, but seeing the pilot episode a few nights ago--mastered, ready for airing--somehow transformed me into a beaming parent (among the multitude) for the show's entire 30-minute run.
And reading good feedback about it on PEX sure makes my heart float. So it's really hap'nin. Hurray-ho.

So yosi is still my buddy. Not in the company of misery, though, not anymore. Life's an ice cream float. You take in the foam and let the ice cream melt. I wonder what's happening to the rest of the ice cream parlor, though.