things to be happy about right now:
1. after wednesday's shoot, i have today and tomorrow as rest days.
2. the weighing scale said i dropped more or less five pounds since two weeks ago. too slow, but at least i'm back to my semi-normal weight. konti na laaang!
3. i'm glad i've found an Assistant Director who's not only a co-worker but a friend, as well. that's a first. i love you sister!
4. and because she's a friend (and yeah, maybe, probably, she has some dint of confidence in me), she says she's going to get me as script con if she accepts the prestigious new project for regal.
5. i have more energy today than my usual low these past several days.
6. if tomorrow night's planned malate trek would push through, i just might see FG again for the first time in months. awww. love you din sister!
1. i was running on perilously low energy during last wednesday's shoot. lugmok-tired. i'd had too little sleep the night before, i.e. two hours. and it was so friggin hot on the set, the heat was draining out everybody's energy as well. went home not only exhausted, but depressed. everything's been goin well at work, but somehow the blahs have hit me again. the Alang Gana syndrome. parang di ko na naeenjoy ang ginagawa ko. it happened a few times in the Vietnam film, now it's happening again. maybe it's just lack of sleep and the physical exhaustion. maybe three days is all i need to regain the enthusiasm that used to carry me through each and every adventure.
2. it's the first time i'd consciously tried to lose weight in nine months. haha. parang nanganak. work is a great weight loss tool. shooting GeeGee at Waterina in December (i had no appetite the entire two days we were shooting), editing it in January (no appetite as well during those several straining days), then doing segment producing work for Da Haus (it was a very physical job, runnin around shooting every single day for about a week). and then i took the Story Ed job, which was probably the Best Weight Loss Tool I've Ever Had. haha. little sleep, daily pressures, daily tensions, yosi, coffee. with everything flying over your head, who would remember to eat? deadlines were everything.
3. i worked with this current film's AD in F0ll0wing R0sa, the f0reign film that was shot here in November-December last year. she's a darling. period. sana wag magbago.
4. i'm actually having second thoughts about taking another script supervising job after this film, but if the current would thrust me in that direction, why not. bahala na si lord. i was thinking of going back to my Personal Project after we wrap up this film in August, but if the opportunity to get another project presents itself, i'd probably take it. pag talagang inanod ako papunta sa direksyong yon, malamang ibig sabihin non si God na ang nag-decide.
pag nagkataon, nakakatuwa lang isipin. three movies this year, plus Da Haus stint and the short film. i'd want to look back to 2006 as a busy, busy year. sige, sana nga matuloy yung sa Regal. pag nagkataon first-time director na naman ang matotoka sa kin. which suits me just fine, cause seeing first-time directors at work might teach me a thing or two about what not to do when the day comes that i'd be in that (much coveted) position myself.
5. i need the rest. i need the rest! halleluiah!
6. sabi nga ng isa kong friend kung magrereflect siguro ang identities ng mga Profile Viewers ni FG sa Fwendster, malamang puro ako ang lalabas na nag-view. haha. eh ganun talaga. hanggang tingin na lang naman e. at hanggang dun na lang yun, kasi sister na lang ang tingin ko sa kanya ngayon. (charuz. etchos. chikah) at least matutupad na rin ang pinapanga-pangarap kong chance para umangkas sa wheels nyang amoy-strawberry sa loob. mmm-bango.
hay. work, work. this is turning out to be an effective horror film. for the first time in a long time, i got to work in a movie that i myself would want to watch.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
deal, or no deal?
another one of those low energy days. requirements to rush for our film, gee-gee at waterina; somehow i managed to drag myself around and accomplish all of them today.
feeling low. hindi ko mapinpoint kung anong root cause, basta matamlay lang ang mga araw lately. hindi rin naman dahil ngarag sa film shoots, dahil thrice a week lang naman yun. ewan.
so buong araw ganito, until something happened. i thought of doing something that i normally wouldn't do. suddenly i was no longer feeling low, i was feeling a bit anxious. what if wrong move sya? what if hindi maganda ang magiging resulta? but a ym-versation with a friend last night had somehow convinced me that maybe i've been pulling on the ropes too taut. be forewarned, she told me. she'd been in this situation before.
it's weird, considering na hindi naman ako ganon kaapektado sa isyung to, pero medyo matagal ko ding pinag-isipan kung gagawin ko ba o hindi. tinext ko pa ang isa kong kaibigan: "choose your answer. deal, or no deal?"
pag deal, gagawin ko. pag no deal, hindi. meaning i shouldn't compromise, because the results wouldn't be good.
"deal!" the friend replied, without a clue as to what the answer is for.
okay.
it took some time for me to finally do it. as i waited for the consequences of my action, pababa na naman nang pababa ang energy ko. so much so that i wanted to go to bed and and kiss the world goodnight at 6 pm. i thought to myself, baka nga mali ang ginawa ko. napalitan ang lungkot ng inis. the silence legitimizes my suspicions. ganon pala ha. sabi ko na tama ako e. sabi ko na...!!
tapos biglang dumating ang resbak ng langit--at masaya ito. unti-unting nawala lahat ng negative feelings. para kong tinurukan ng insulin. bigla akong nagising. aba, ganito nga pala ang feeling ng buhay ka.
tama yung friend ko sa ym kagabi. minsan nakakainis nga yung sobrang maingat. para kang kuhol na forever nang nakatago sa loob ng bahay mo.
weehoo.
shoot na naman tomorrow. energy, energy! Day 6 of 17 days. mas masayang mag-shoot para sa isang Pinoy film. lahat kami nagkakaintindihan. mas masaya at bonded ang mga tao. and i feel more useful, being given extra floor-work (blocking talents, especially) to do. sana lang hindi kami abutin ng madaling araw bukas. i easily run out of energy these days.
feeling low. hindi ko mapinpoint kung anong root cause, basta matamlay lang ang mga araw lately. hindi rin naman dahil ngarag sa film shoots, dahil thrice a week lang naman yun. ewan.
so buong araw ganito, until something happened. i thought of doing something that i normally wouldn't do. suddenly i was no longer feeling low, i was feeling a bit anxious. what if wrong move sya? what if hindi maganda ang magiging resulta? but a ym-versation with a friend last night had somehow convinced me that maybe i've been pulling on the ropes too taut. be forewarned, she told me. she'd been in this situation before.
it's weird, considering na hindi naman ako ganon kaapektado sa isyung to, pero medyo matagal ko ding pinag-isipan kung gagawin ko ba o hindi. tinext ko pa ang isa kong kaibigan: "choose your answer. deal, or no deal?"
pag deal, gagawin ko. pag no deal, hindi. meaning i shouldn't compromise, because the results wouldn't be good.
"deal!" the friend replied, without a clue as to what the answer is for.
okay.
it took some time for me to finally do it. as i waited for the consequences of my action, pababa na naman nang pababa ang energy ko. so much so that i wanted to go to bed and and kiss the world goodnight at 6 pm. i thought to myself, baka nga mali ang ginawa ko. napalitan ang lungkot ng inis. the silence legitimizes my suspicions. ganon pala ha. sabi ko na tama ako e. sabi ko na...!!
tapos biglang dumating ang resbak ng langit--at masaya ito. unti-unting nawala lahat ng negative feelings. para kong tinurukan ng insulin. bigla akong nagising. aba, ganito nga pala ang feeling ng buhay ka.
tama yung friend ko sa ym kagabi. minsan nakakainis nga yung sobrang maingat. para kang kuhol na forever nang nakatago sa loob ng bahay mo.
weehoo.
shoot na naman tomorrow. energy, energy! Day 6 of 17 days. mas masayang mag-shoot para sa isang Pinoy film. lahat kami nagkakaintindihan. mas masaya at bonded ang mga tao. and i feel more useful, being given extra floor-work (blocking talents, especially) to do. sana lang hindi kami abutin ng madaling araw bukas. i easily run out of energy these days.
Monday, June 26, 2006
D-Day 2
cheers to all first-time directors who know what they want and are able to translate it beautifully onscreen.
that's a great consolation for the people who work for them.
and an inspiration, to people who can only dream of one day going through the same exhilarating, fulfilling, too-ideal-to-be-real experience.
inspiration and frustration. sometimes i can't tell one feeling from the other. lagi kasing magkakabit. lagi kong sabay na nararamdaman.
that's a great consolation for the people who work for them.
and an inspiration, to people who can only dream of one day going through the same exhilarating, fulfilling, too-ideal-to-be-real experience.
inspiration and frustration. sometimes i can't tell one feeling from the other. lagi kasing magkakabit. lagi kong sabay na nararamdaman.
Friday, June 23, 2006
D-day
i'm kinda depressed today because...
...i didn't get the new script bookbound this afternoon, and i'm running out of time. sunday's the shoot and i have to accomplish that bookbinding thing tomorrow.
...i can't eat what i want. been on a diet for the past six days. losing weight is a bit harder now than it used to be, what with me being sedentary and homebound most of the time.
...i'm bored. dunno why.
...i have translations to do, but i'm not in the mood to move my (fat, sorry) a$$ to do them.
...i feel bad about having to complicate the little white lie last night. complicate, meaning, having to use the same lie to a new person, just because The-Grouch-Who-Annoyed-Me-So-Much-In-Vietnam was in the same circle of conversation. i was cornered. will have to put a stop to this. will have to set up the Breakup soon. i'll say that he's been getting in touch with me less and less, that we've drifted apart after Vietnam, that he's probably nurturing something for somebody else. for all i know, it just might be closer to the truth than i could actually think.
...hearts get broken all the time.
...i just met a high school classmate (Grace Halo) who's getting married by the end of the year. huwaat.
...everyone's falling in love around me and here i am, forever languishing in subzero. brrr.
...i want to fall in love. with the right person. kaso mukhang nasa ibang planeta ata si Right Person. o baka naman hindi pa pinapanganak, o deadbol na. just my friggin luck. sa next life na lang siguro.
...i'm glad for the new project but there's a part of me that's holding back. the work is familiar territory, i've worked with some of the peeps in the staff, but somehow...i'm not as excited as i usually would be at the beginning of a new project. ewan ko. maybe it's just the jitters over having to acquaint myself with a new troupe, and coming into the project a week late. but i know the lord will guide me. as he always does.
hay. inane, inane. maybe it's just another one of those days. maybe i'll get to sleep soundly tonight and wake up happy tomorrow.
...i didn't get the new script bookbound this afternoon, and i'm running out of time. sunday's the shoot and i have to accomplish that bookbinding thing tomorrow.
...i can't eat what i want. been on a diet for the past six days. losing weight is a bit harder now than it used to be, what with me being sedentary and homebound most of the time.
...i'm bored. dunno why.
...i have translations to do, but i'm not in the mood to move my (fat, sorry) a$$ to do them.
...i feel bad about having to complicate the little white lie last night. complicate, meaning, having to use the same lie to a new person, just because The-Grouch-Who-Annoyed-Me-So-Much-In-Vietnam was in the same circle of conversation. i was cornered. will have to put a stop to this. will have to set up the Breakup soon. i'll say that he's been getting in touch with me less and less, that we've drifted apart after Vietnam, that he's probably nurturing something for somebody else. for all i know, it just might be closer to the truth than i could actually think.
...hearts get broken all the time.
...i just met a high school classmate (Grace Halo) who's getting married by the end of the year. huwaat.
...everyone's falling in love around me and here i am, forever languishing in subzero. brrr.
...i want to fall in love. with the right person. kaso mukhang nasa ibang planeta ata si Right Person. o baka naman hindi pa pinapanganak, o deadbol na. just my friggin luck. sa next life na lang siguro.
...i'm glad for the new project but there's a part of me that's holding back. the work is familiar territory, i've worked with some of the peeps in the staff, but somehow...i'm not as excited as i usually would be at the beginning of a new project. ewan ko. maybe it's just the jitters over having to acquaint myself with a new troupe, and coming into the project a week late. but i know the lord will guide me. as he always does.
hay. inane, inane. maybe it's just another one of those days. maybe i'll get to sleep soundly tonight and wake up happy tomorrow.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
when labor calls
i've been home for a week now. wow. yesterday i was just packing up my stuff to take to the saigon airport. yesterday i just turned 26.
the past seven days just flew by. i saw no reason to keep track of the calendar. i'm already home.
and interestingly, with enough stuff to busy myself with. got my last paycheck from Da Haus (and with a sack of rice, to boot!). got myself a haircut (reminiscent of those old Kilig-Show days, bangs and all). did partial work on the current personal projects and was just gaining momentum when i found out that the last baby project, GeeGee at Waterina, needed some tending to.
that is, subtitling. and it needs to be done ASAP, before my work mills start grinding again. and because writer Dennis' own work mills are busily on the grind now as we speak that leaves me as the only candidate for the task. argh.
but we gotta do what we gotta do, okay, so quit complaining.
i was about to start on the paperwork tonight when something else came along. the new project. the work mills are calling me to labor, and the call came sooner than i'd expected. as in, tomorrow.
hala. i'm glad for the call. i'm glad that i'm going to work again. but i haven't maximized this little post-saigon vacation yet. i haven't finished the personal projects yet. and yes, the GeeGee at Waterina subtitling has to be put on a fast track, in time for Saturday's editing session. which leaves me only tonight and tomorrow night to work on it.
good luck sa akin.
looking forward to tomorrow's meeting, though. work is still work. this time around, the work will stretch on for 14 shooting days in a span of 5 weeks. long time. spaces of non-work days in between. first-time director. target wrap would be by end of july.
hay. byebye, leisurely days. byebye, vacation plans. byebye, social life. sana lang talaga the adventure would be worth the little joys that i'd have to give up for now.
the past seven days just flew by. i saw no reason to keep track of the calendar. i'm already home.
and interestingly, with enough stuff to busy myself with. got my last paycheck from Da Haus (and with a sack of rice, to boot!). got myself a haircut (reminiscent of those old Kilig-Show days, bangs and all). did partial work on the current personal projects and was just gaining momentum when i found out that the last baby project, GeeGee at Waterina, needed some tending to.
that is, subtitling. and it needs to be done ASAP, before my work mills start grinding again. and because writer Dennis' own work mills are busily on the grind now as we speak that leaves me as the only candidate for the task. argh.
but we gotta do what we gotta do, okay, so quit complaining.
i was about to start on the paperwork tonight when something else came along. the new project. the work mills are calling me to labor, and the call came sooner than i'd expected. as in, tomorrow.
hala. i'm glad for the call. i'm glad that i'm going to work again. but i haven't maximized this little post-saigon vacation yet. i haven't finished the personal projects yet. and yes, the GeeGee at Waterina subtitling has to be put on a fast track, in time for Saturday's editing session. which leaves me only tonight and tomorrow night to work on it.
good luck sa akin.
looking forward to tomorrow's meeting, though. work is still work. this time around, the work will stretch on for 14 shooting days in a span of 5 weeks. long time. spaces of non-work days in between. first-time director. target wrap would be by end of july.
hay. byebye, leisurely days. byebye, vacation plans. byebye, social life. sana lang talaga the adventure would be worth the little joys that i'd have to give up for now.
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