express lane days once again

these past three weeks parang nasa gitna ng buhawi ang working life ko.
juggling two balls. day and night. wala na time para pagupit, palaser, etc.
and now, finally, kahit for an afternoon lang... i can breathe.
(but not absolutely. dahil may 2 cookie orders na nakapila, deadline next week)

pero di ako nagrereklamo. tunog reklamo lang pero ang totoo, deep in my heart...nagpapasalamat ako. para sa trabaho. para sa sweldo. para sa mga taong nagtitiwala sa makocontribute ko sa kung anumang project ang meron sila. let's just keep werking it, bluey, til we're There.

10 years ago, "There" meant something else. My concept of "There" has radically evolved in the past decade.

For me, "There" is financial freedom. gusto kong kumayod nang kumayod para makaipon. para maging malaya na akong gumawa ng gusto kong gawin kahit di ako kumakayod. yun ang "There" ko ngayon.

because happiness for me now, is being with my family. cuddling with my daughter. hugging my osobear. being a wife, a mother. and a little baker.

para makarating ako to "There", i have to brave the whirlwind days ahead. not just brave. trump them. do my dang best, because i have committed. and people are relying on you when they hire you to do certain things.

praying. something i rarely do nowadays
last night, i prayed. prayed na marubdob. i didn't want to just speak to him. i wanted to listen.
minsan, in silence, you hear him. minsan naman, in your own voice, you hear him. last night, i think the message to me was, don't think about what your company or your clients can do for you. think about what you can contribute to them. contribution. para iwas bitter, para iwas resentment tuwing may deadline o demands, ito ang iisipin ko. i should be grateful if i have something significant to contribute. kasi pag wala akong significant contribution... hindi ako kailangan. hindi ako uutusan, hindi ako kukulitin, hindi ako papansin.

and as scriptcon before, my entire stint had been all about proving to myself that my contribution was valuable. i worked hard to become a good scriptcon, dahil dito sa pilipinas, pwedeng gumawa ng pelikula ng walang scriptcon. minsan, ginagawa pa ngang PA ang scriptcon. but that's another issue.

word for the day- contribution. Are you contributing something valuable to your team? o lugi pa sila sa yo?

nagagawa nga naman ng post-deadline highs, oo.dumadaldal ang tao.
on to the next deadline.