mommy diaries

magaling talaga ang diyos. he knows how to traffic our lives in ways that will ultimately do us all good.

tulad ngayon. work is light, and the soap we're cooking up isn't as stressful to do as the previous soap we'd done. one year ago, i would've been restless, listless, bored. but now i consider it a blessing. because i get to have more time for my baby. siguro okay na yung until after the christmas holidays. kasi baka naman masyado nang maburo ang utak ko pag extended vacation from busyness. nakakamiss din namang maging hectic ang buhay.

three months na si aysie. marunong na syang tumititig sa mga tao, na para bang nangsisino, nage-estima. marunong na rin syang ngumiti at will, kapag friendly face o familiar face ang nakatapat sa kanya. she can coo and make these delightful baby ga-ga sounds every now and then, and it never fails to make me laugh. every day she's looking more and more like her father at nagpapasalamat naman ako..dahil para sa kin guwapo naman ang mister ko. haha. (sana lang wag maging KC case ito...yung parang babaeng gabby).

on the nega side, nakaka-6 or 7k na yata kami sa vaccines at pedia visits nya. and there's more to come. soon kailangan na rin syang pabinyagan...magfifirst birthday na rin siya...eventually mag-aaral na rin sya...walang katapusan ang gastos. kaya naisip ko, we can never really save enough. kailangan walang katapusan din ang pag-iipon dahil from now on wala na ring katapusan ang gastos. ganyan pala ang buhay kapag may anak ka na.

kaya i will it. i will for more money to come. nang hindi naman ako masyadong mai-intoxify sa araw-araw na buhay. or pwede rin, basta sa takdang panahon. basta alam naman ng diyos kung anong makakabuti para sa lahat. i trust in him completely.

one more thing to look forward to: aysie's first christmas. malamang hindi pa nya maaalala to but i'd love to immortalize it in pictures and show them to her when she's old enough to appreciate it---hey anak, this was your first christmas on earth. haha. kahit nga itong blogsite ko, god-willing na meron pang blogger.com in ten or fifteen yeas, ipapabasa ko sa kanya for a blow-by-blow account of her childhood. haha. the wonders of technology.

random shwandom

* i dream of revisiting the city of pines this november. kaso impractical. i can't leave my baby and i'd better just save the money. now isn't like then, when i'd only have to look out for myself.
* i dream of going back to my first love: reading.
* i miss hanging out with friends. i haven't done that in quite sometime.
* i miss seeing a movie in theaters.
* i so badly want to lose weight.
* i used to dream and get paid for it. i want to go back to that just-dreaming mode. writing used to be like that. i long to go back to that time.
* i'm obsessed with savings.
* i love nursing my baby. love it to bits. she stops crying when she sees me hauling out my chug. she knows it's gonna be feeding time. haha.

my dreams for aysiebear

1) buy her books as early as 1 year old para bata pa lang ma-inculcate na sa kanya ang love for reading
2) teach her the value of money and savings. pero dahil hindi rin ako magaling don, i'll leave the teaching to her daddy na lang.
3) encourage her to form her own opinion and speak her mind, but teach her to be sensitive to other people's feelings.
4) encourage her in school and in all her personal endeavors.
5) teach her the value of education.
6) teach her how to be a mabuting tao...hindi ko lang alam kung ano yung speicific steps. hehe.
7) discipline her. and control myself from spoiling her.

in love

with my anak. she's only been with us for two months but my world has started to revolve around her. she's my gem, my legacy to the world, my purpose, something to live for.

kahit may yaya, gusto ko hands-on ako sa pag-aalaga. as much as possible, pag wala naman akong work, she's with me. kasi pag hindi, pag matagal ko syang hindi naaalagaan o nahahawakan, i feel guilty. feeling ko hindi buo ang pagiging ina ko pag hindi ako ang nag-aalaga sa anak ko. pag lumalabas ako ng bahay, siya pa rin ang nasa isip ko. gusto ko nang umuwi agad dahil kelangan ng anak ko ang gatas ko.

she turned 2 months old on october 23. she's starting to learn the world around her, marunong nang tumitig, marunong nang makinig. soon she'll be smiling voluntarily, and making ga-ga-goo-goo sounds. sabi nila pag five or six months na daw at nagrerespond na sa mga tao, nakakatuwa. i can't wait. i can't even believe it's only been two months since ipinanganak ko siya. parang antagal na!

happy and thankful

that my prayer was answered. i'm done with the final draft; they're taping the episode today. yey! thank you lord!

now i have reserved this day for babytime. take some time to breastfeed and exclusively care for my aysiebear. there are two problems though--dahil medyo ilang araw na rin akong hindi madalas nagpapabreastfeed, mahina ang gatas ko ngayon...at ang anak ko, matakaw pa naman sa gatas, kaya hindi sya nabubusog sa breastfeeding sessions namin.

isa pa, isang linggo ko pa lang syang hindi exclusively inalagaan, nagbago na yata ang timpla nya...nagiging iyakin na siya, at hindi ko siya mapatahan! mas napapatahan pa sya ng yaya nya...and for the first time i am seriously bothered. i'm jealous of the yaya, because i'm the mommy and i couldn't console my baby. :-( the hazards of a working mom. pero ayoko...hindi ako gi-give up hanggang hindi napapalapit uli sa kin ang anak ko. hehe.

basta thank you lord...happy happy...counting blessings...celebrating dahil para kong nabunutan ng tinik sa final draft na nairaos ko. :-)