this is my lucky day!

sabi sa horoscope, today is my 'luckiest day of the year'.
ano ba nangyari today so far.

1. gumising, uminom ng kape
2. nag-revise nang konting-konti ng oneliner for script draft 3
3. nag-lunch kasama si boso oso
4. chumika over 1 stick of yosi with boso oso
5. umuwi ng maga-alas singko via cab
6. nagyosi uli ng isang stick pagdating sa bahay
7. nagkape
8. eto, nagba-blog.

well. hindi pa naman tapos ang araw. hehe.
may six hours pa bago dumating ang maraming magagandang news sa life. maraming magagandang opportunities.

ang challenge is pano magsimulang magtrabaho tonight gayong antok na antok ako. pero may deadline bukas ng alas-12 ng tanghali (daw), at mukhang magku-Kuya Germs mode na naman ako tonight.

alang tulugan, kasi, no choice. nagbulakbol ako all day today, kaya no choice.

* * *

funny tidbit.
nang hinatid ako sa taxi terminal ni oso, sabi sa kin ng drayber ng nasakyan ko: "boyfriend mo ba yun iha? ang guwapo ha, magaling kang pumili." ngyarks!
kung hindi lang sya medyo may-edad nang tatay-type, iisipin kong bading sya. haha.

what ifs

ang buhay ay puno ng what ifs. walang storya kung walang what ifs.
kaya minsan, mapapaisip ka. what if--?

what if mali ka?
what if the unflattering truth you've come to believe for the longest time turns out to be false, after all?
what if nung mga panahong akala mo eh ganito, hindi naman pala?
what if naging totoo pala noon ang wish mo, pero hindi mo lang alam?

marami akong nalaman tonight. mga bagay na, siguro, kung sinabi sa akin two years ago, would have mattered. nagulat ako. pero i didn't let it get to me. 2nd hand info is 2nd hand info. and despite the dint of flattery, the little heart-tug, i know that that case is moot and academic now.

the lord knew what to do. he gave me the right people at the right time.
thank you, lord.
kung tama man ang nararamdaman pero maling panahon, mali pa rin. + plus - equals - pa rin.

flattered pa rin ako, though. dahil di ko akalain na sinuyod pala nya ang buong 2nd floor para lang makahanap ng concert tickets para sa kin.

habang ini-inaugurate si obama...

...eto ako. pagod. medyo. wala lang. relaxed. inaantok na. masaya-saya naman. dahil tapos ko na ang 2nd draft ng 1/2 of a script na assigned sa kin. at maghihintay na lang ng feedback very soon.

five days ago, pinagawa kami ng 1st draft. three straight days akong naghihintay, nagpupumilit na pumalaot ang barko. kasi nga naman, 2005 ko huling nagsulat nang ganito. kinalawang na ang mga hinges. kinailangan ng yosi, kape, at ilang phone calls from sources-of-moral-support. buti na lang, may co-writer ako. kasi tight ang deadline. na-late kami sa deadline pero nakahabol din naman. at finally, eventually, pumalaot din ang bangka. wala syang choice e.

nung matapos ko sya, sabi ko, panget. natatakot akong basahin uli. not so soon after i'd finished it. baka mabuwisit lang ako sa self ko.

pero nung feedback meeting, thank god, knock on wood---maybe politics had something to do with it, and we were clueless beneficiaries--hindi naman uber harsh ang comments. isang major point lang that would require restructuring sa gitna. pero other than that, all were minor. sobrang relieved ako. kasi buong meeting, habang binabaril yung iba, hindi ako mapakali sa kaba.

dati, hindi naman ganito. dati, wala naman akong masyadong wisyo ng "feedback meeting" o "comments" from the director, pm, cm, buh, etcetera. basta makasubmit, tapos. nabanggit na ni waterfowl ang dahilan, kaya lalo ko tuloy namiss si beatlebum. aww. bear kita talaga (with kris aquino diction)!

so binigyan kami ng 1 day to revise. pagkatapos ng meeting, diretso kami ng co-writer ko sa one-on-one brainstorming for a new Middle. inabot kami ng alas-3. nakapagsimula akong magsulat ng alas-9 kinaumagahan (can't go on writing all night without sleeping...kelangan talagang makatulog otherwise magha-hang ang utak ko!). natapos ako, mga 10pm. uber late, pero ok na rin. within the day's deadline pa rin.

hay. pagod. i'm happy. and i thank god. because somehow, kahit na may mga bagay na missing sa life (at nagpapasalamat din ako na yung mga bagay na yon ay pawang mga materyal na bagay lamang), i have enough. i'm still blessed. with good health, a complete family, friends, a job, an osobear, a functioning heart and mind, a basically good soul.

ang tama ay hindi si ms. miller, per se. ang nagpapatama sa mga pino-"prophesy" nya ay faith. if you believe, and have complete faith, it will happen. good things will happen.

now. i have complete faith na by february, masosolusyonan na ang nag-iisang problema ko sa ngayon. and with that licked, all the more reason to be thankful, and maybe by then i'd be able to give back.

ba't ang hirap

hindi dapat mahirap. cause jupiter is on my side! i have to have faith. pahinga lang ang katapat nito, and in a matter of hours, the light will shine on me.

lord, help me. please.

loving jupiter and being loved back

maybe i should write them all down. names, i mean. after all, i'm getting to be a forgetful mind. tsktsk, scriptcon pa naman dati. dati?! basta to waterfowl, thank you. you're my savior for the moment. :-)

three things we shouldn't run out of, even in our jaded years:
1. the ability to keep ourselves happy by our dreams--be it daydreams, ambitions, or simple what-if scenarios.
2. optimism
3. driven-ness. or the state of being driven.
4. dreams. daydreams, ambitions, and simple what-if scenarios.

teka, apat na pala yun a. haha.

* * *

been sick for two days now. coughing like a dog and my nose is clogged. but i'm still one lucky gal. cause i had a vicks backrub, a roll of tissue as a gift, a lucky me supreme, and a dose kisspirin and yakapsule. courtesy of the cutest fat bear on earth. :-)

thank you lord, for a boyfriend who would make a very good mother someday.