50 things i wasn't able to write about in the past two months

1. how i lost the scholarship.
2. how losing the scholarship had somehow become a blessing-in-disguise.
3. feeling lost and clueless, sans a master plan.
4. picking up a lesson or two on how to direct a film comedy (push it! exaggerate! do something crazy-outrageous!).
5. living through the haggard last few weeks of shooting the comedian-child star movie (and why i had to bail on the last week).
6. guilt over bailing out on two projects for pragmatic reasons.
7. learning about "The Secret" and trying (trying!) to implement it.
8. the momentary(?) shifting of my priorities in life.
9. starting the silly project.
10. leading a toxic, 6-workdays-a-week lifestyle for more than four straight weeks.
11. working with americans from L.A. (a first for me--and it ain't the same as working with americans from other places)
12. being called "scripty" (the american term for script supervisor) instead of "scriptcon".
13. learning how to do l1ne-scripting, to "timekeep", to work in front of the video monitor (instead of working beside the camera), to write and rewrite tedious reports on a daily basis, and all other nitty gritties of "scriptying", according to L.A.-merican standards.
14. realizing that i'd gotten really rusty in speaking straight english, in the course of being "forced" to do so everyday at work.
15. meeting 90s TV's Superman and the half-Pinoy dude in the Bl@ck Eyed Peas.
16. going to about a dozen memorable new locations in a span of four weeks, because of the silly shoot.
17. finding myself in places that i'd already been to because of work...and getting all nostalgic about the memories brought back by my "revisiting".
18. crossing paths again with people i'd worked with in different projects in the past.
19. realizing that #18 is a sign that i'm getting old in this field (the older you become, the more people you meet).
20. wondering if getting old can be equated to progressing, in this case, or if it's analogous to the fact that spreading out is not the same as climbing up.
21. getting an earnest lesbian proposal for the first time in my life. :-P
22. frustrations about the situation of script supervisors in the local industry.
23. realizing that i'm true-blue middle class, after having to work around very wealthy people.
24. realizing that work-wise, americans can be quite condescending towards filipinos, in general.
25. realizing how one and the same remark, previously perceived as a compliment, could actually "transform" into an insult, four weeks later.
26. realizing that one of the best ways to "fight" back (aside from working your ass off) is to use the tagalog language. after all, what they don't understand won't hurt you. haha.
27. realizing that while trust is something that needs to be earned, in some cases it's something that one might need to fight for.
28. happiness over working with fellow filipinos.
29. happiness over coke zeroes.
30. happiness over doing my job.
31. happiness over days off work.
32. happiness over wages.
33. buying a new, functional digicam for PhP 5K at Greenhills.
34. finding myself more and more in awe of the OsoBear's haggling capabilities (the best shopping companion, ever).
35. acting as bit player (in costume!) for one of the silly movie's scenes.
36. relishing our official Last Day for the silly shoot (day 27! over!).
37. happiness over the post-silly rest vacation.
38. occasional restlessness on non-working days.
39. dreams of an all-expenses-paid beach vacation on golden summer afternoons.
40. wanting an AD career in TV.
41. wanting a director to belong to.
42. wanting a TV prod family to belong to.
43. dreaming of money pouring in this summer.
44. dreaming of money, period.
45. my 94-year-old grandmother being confined in the hospital for bronchitis, and me helping her use the bedpan for the first time (ang hirap pala!)
46. 2nd AD-ing for @st1gs the tv show.
47. 2nd AD-ing for jud@i's new soap.
48. going to Manila's new Ocean Park for the first time.
49. valentine's dinner at Friday's with the OsoBear.
50. lunch at the OsoBear's house, with little kids running around carrying "Baby Schicks". :-)