lunatic nights like these

just submitted work 24 hours late, so forgive me. so many things i want to do all at the same time, diet has been OUT the window for the past 7 days. i just feel trashy. physically. so i just want to dump a little here, pasintabi pow.

naiinggit ako. sa mga nag-aabroad for work. kasi, libre silang nakakapunta sa ibang bansa. oo, work pa rin, sabi ni osobear. pero still, libre!

kelan kaya ako ipapadala sa ibang bansa for work? oo na, writer po ako. hindi kailangan ng writer kapag nagshushoot out there. syempre, mauuna ang headwriter o creative manager sa slot na yun. hindi pinapadala ang mga graphic artist/draftsmen sa site, mga arkitekto/engineers pwede pa.

greece. japan. the mediterranean. the U-frickin-S. yung isang bossing up namin, nakailang bansa na this year pa lang. do i have to become a big boss para lang makalibre ng travel abroad because of work? kelangan bang maging direktor para lang makaburaot ng libreng trip abroad?? (at mind you, 1st unit! ang mga 2nd, waley, nganga dito sa pinas, nanghuhuli ng tutubi habang nagshushoot ang mga 1st unit out there in the world)

naiinggit ako oo. pero hindi yung bad na inggit (yung tipong--- sana hindi na kayo mapadala for abroad ever! or something ill-wishing like that). yung inggit na, "sana ako din". dahil wala na yata akong narating beyond the four corners of this phosphorus screen. hanggang pangarap at imagination na lang.

 

itchyfeet. lagi lagi. FB, IG. they're bad for the inggiterang frog like yours truly. lakas makaitchyfeet ng mga scenic shots.  lalo na kung libre pamasahe. huwaw. yun ang trip na trip ko. ang makalibre.

pero kapag yung tipo ng vacation trips na ikaw lahat magbabayad, parang...meh. di ako naiinggit much. kasi magastos.  kami pa naman kapag umalis, hindi pwedeng solo trip lang (PERO gusto kong itry ito. GUSTO KO TALAGA! yung mag-isa lang! at gumasta nang di ko iniisip ang gastos, dahil SOLO lang akech! HAHA). laging TIMES 3, TIMES 4, TIMES 5. hindi ko naman maasahang gumastos ang osobear dahil sya na sa mga basic necessities (me, wants. him, needs) so YEAH... kaya siguro laway na laway ako sa mga out of the country company-sponsored trips na HINDI naman ako sinasama. HUHU. in fair, wala naman yatang writer na sinasama sa mga ganun. 

* * *

japan. ramen. okonomiyaki. the city at night. the cherry blossoms. mt. fuji. 

greece. kahit saaan don. basta may dagat. 

france. 

the US. 

prague.

spain.

HK. again. and again. and again. 

hell, kahit vietnam papatusin ko. (kaya inggit ako kay hubby! libre sya na may per diem pa!)

at marami pa akong pwedeng idagdag. kahit saan nyo ako ipadala, basta libre! okay lang sa aking gumising ng maaga at magtrabaho sa production (dati ko namang ginagawa at namiss ko din), basta libreng experience of a new place out there. libreng memories to look back on when I'm old and gray. 

hay. investment. ipon ipon, tipid tipid. all i think about everyday, besides my babygirl and work, is money. obsessed with making money. obsessed with being wealthy. being free to do whatever i want, maintain the same lifestyle (even more) without having to work. millionaire fastlane. it keeps me up at night sometimes. i wonder what that business is, that business that will make all my financial dreams come true. Lord, please, show me. 

dahil nakakapagod magsulat bilang trabaho. well lahat naman talaga nakakapagod kapag naging trabaho. kahit wala ka sa mood, kailangan gawin mo. everything takes work. kaya swerte na rin talaga ako, dahil yung dati ay pastime ko lang, na love ko naman talagang gawin kapag paminsan-minsan, naging trabaho ko.

yun nga lang, hindi ako pinapadala sa ibang bansa ng kumpanya ko.

taena, eh yung LD nga na kaklase ko nung highschool! pinadala sa LA! huhuhu! inggit much!

bakit ba ko ganito??

kasi dati, nung nasa prod ako, kung saan saan ako timitilapon. yung mga times na pinapadala ako out of the country for work, naenjoy ko talaga. kaya ayan, throwing that WISH out there, tossing it out to the universe. I WISH I GET SHIPPED OVERSEAS FOR WORK. Wag lang sa middle east. Dubai, okay pa po Lord. At sana po wag sobrang tagal. Parang pagsusulat lang din yan, masarap kapag paminsan minsan o maiklian. Pero kapag nakababad ka na, gusto mo nang umuwi, 

sabi ng universe ano ba tong taong to? Nagwiwish na nga lang, ang dami pang demands! 

Basta po yun ang wish ko. sana po, kahit writer lang ako, mapadala din ako abroad all expenses paid. kahit 1 week lang hehe :-)

adik mode? wala ang saya ko lang. kasi tapos na ako sa weekly show script. kaya mahaharap ko na ang treatment for week 3 ng serye. na medyo daunting task for me. kaya magkecandy crush muna ako ngayon (DESERVE KO TO after that weekly show script!) at pepetiks. tapos  aattend ng 11am meeting bukas, at manonood ng c1nemal@ya films all day tomorrow.

haist. c1nem@laya. there was a time, it was my beacon of hope. 

i have a secret. nagsubmit ako ng storyline once. the first, and so far the last. that was 2004. hindi nakapasa e. nahurt ako much, kaya hindi na ako umulit. ang dami kong excuses every single year. daming work, busy sa life, di inspired, etc. ewan. 

kaya i believe that when it comes to success in life, there are two kinds  of people. those who DO and those who DON'T.  unfortunately (or not?), i belonged to the latter category. i had  a dream once, but then i did not do anything about it. the farthest i got was to apply for a film outfit Scholarship, which sealed the end of that childhood dream. 

so, ngayon, and mga aspirants, wala nang excuse to not DO. you can shoot an entire movie using only your cellphone. ang dami nang avenues para ipakita mo ang galing mo (kung meron man). hindi katulad nung panahon namin, na wala pang masyadong digital chever. film talaga, at monopolyo ng mga film outfits. you don't get to be a "legit" director until you're past 30. 

ngayon, at 10 you can. wow, the internet. wow, digital revolution. you have made the world such a better, better, better place. you've leveled the playing field in so many ways.

so there, i feel like... drinking beer. why not! got an 11 am meeting tomorrow, got to fall asleep!

bye for now!