sense of time, speed of light

urgent. hazy. multitudinous.
life's like that these days. that's how i felt when i woke up this afternoon. phone ringing, reminding me of some meeting to go to, a meeting i'd forgotten i had, and didn't have the energy to go to at that moment.

felt bad, really. when i found out that the meeting had BEEN today. and realized that the script deadline for the trip-trip-lang tv show on-the-brew WAS today. because i needed to be at that meeting. and i didn't want to miss that deadline. but i was out of it. tao lang.

windang. ngarag. over a multitude of things to do.

so i rushed it tonight. planning on an installment, just in time for the grind date on the 16th. because i'd have no time for it in the next few days. rushed it, my bloodstream pumping an assortment of (legit) uppers. guilt can drive you towards action sometimes. especially when they've already paid you for the job you're supposed to do.

i love the whirlwind. but the whirlwind unraveled me a bit too much today.

been shooting all night every other night for the past few days. it does wonders to you. reversing your time clock anew, and with a couple of things in mind still. a coupla things to do for another project, which is actively on preproduction, which required your immediate attention. somethin you shouldn't neglect or take for granted, because it just might be your bread-and-butter after the currently grinding projects are gone. so i was a bit miffed at myself for a moment for the meeting that i'd forgotten to attend, but i lightened up easily. because i'm past 25% of the written work and i only need a day to finish the 75%. and the only available day is on sunday.

time warped. i often lose my sense of time these days. especially when i'm tired and up all night. and when it comes to deadlines. or birthdays.

but i'm happy. somekinda. because there's so many things to thank god for these days. my short film is playin at the cinem@nil@. i'm meeting new people almost everyday. and on sunday night i'm goin to baguio.

last day shoot for the horror project tomorrow, finishing off the script whole day of sunday, the cinem@nil@ screening of our film sunday night, then i'm off, off to the city of pines for a new adventure. and apart from the adventure, i'm glad about the unexpected extra moolah that'll come this way as well.

three days in the mines, with new people and a new team. hoping, praying, that at least a few of these new acquaintances will help me get another film made. in one way or another. praying for serendipitous perks for the future. as i grow older in this line of job i realize that the world gets smaller as well. maybe it's because it's a small industry. a fwendster industry, connecting its laborers to the umpth degree.

excited. about baguio. i love shooting outside of the metro. after three days i'll be back and heading straight to the shoot of the tv project. good luck to me, miss i'll-try-to-bite-off-more-than-i-can-chew-and-pray-for-good-outcomes. i hope i didn't overestimate my stamina and multi-tasking abilities this time.

i wish i'd have christmas reserved for personal thingies. i wish i'd get a vacation by then. but i want to make that film. at all costs. and the tv show will be taking away my time. and i'll be taking away money from them as well, in exchange. haha.

speaking of personal thingies i wonder how the Direk is doing now. haven't seen him in a while, and i dunno if i'll be seeing him anytime soon. memories and the idealizing mind can only do so much. and fwendster doesn't give you all that you want to know.

isn't it funny, though, when this happens to you: you meet someone new, and you realize you've developed a little crush on him--if only for the evening, just for kicks--and the next day he tells you that he thinks he has a crush on you? heehee. i find it funny because it rarely happens to me. something mutual springing up from one chance encounter, even if it's somethin as frivolous as a "somekinda" crush.

haha. cute. time to go back to the urgent-hazy-multitudinous life.