to-do

distracted. bothered. something nags at me, a splinter in my brain.

i must've used up all the delaying tactics in the catalogue. watch a movie muna. mag-internet muna. kumain muna. maligo muna. mamaya na...mamaya na.

but it won't go away so long as it's undone. paksyet. assignment pa lang to ha. OA talaga.

i hate writing precisely because of this.

* * *

infinite fear. of facing that blank page. i feel like the most inarticulate, unimaginative person each time the moment comes.

infinite fear. of things imagined. of things that i would only see in other cases. it rubs off. i spew it out, every now and then. just to know if everything is alright. if there is nothing to fear.

questions. probing, questions.

* * *

meals taste better. time flies. doing nothing couldn't bore me. and there's nowhere else that i would want to be.

there are things to do. TTD for every day. it's on the list, everyday, since last last saturday. i'm sleepy now. i'm blogging when i should be doing something else.

didn't like hairspray all that much. but the performances were cute. and that dude from High School Musical has grown up to be such a cutie. and james marsden looks hot. and yes, travolta has managed to convince me for two hours that he was a woman.

bbbb, you would never run out of corny jokes. and i've grown to love that about you. just as i've grown to love your huggable baby fats (reminds me of my big fat baby brother). love it when you don't use that sticky bench thingie on your hair, when you put on that Big Brown Baby Bear jacket of yours, when you do a show-and-tell of action figurines for sale in the specialty stores, when you make the cafeteria seem like such a yummy place to eat in, when you make Kopiko coffee taste like gourmet, when you stand there and do nothing and somehow manage to make the day interesting. don't change. ever.

and yes, i love watching you water the bonsai on your office window. just when i thought that i would have to remind you to do so. you're so much more caring than me.

it's so much easier summoning easy thoughts, mundane thoughts, thoughts that wouldn't require me to think and create. i'm such a wuz. damn these things-to-do. but there's not other way around it but to just plunge right through it.