ideal

may pattern talaga ako. at mahilig mag-ulit ng sarili.

like this entry from 2009, about michael corleone from The GodFather. palitan mo lang ang mga pangalan, it's like i'm talking about my most recent obsession:

i saw the godfather trilogy again, a week ago. na-realize ko na crush ko si al pacino as michael corleone. the michael corleone of godfather 1 and 2. not only because of the quiet dark sicilian looks. the total package. quiet, sure-footed, brilliant, confident, sophisticated. yung tipong pag binigay mo ang buhay mo sa kanya para alagaan, kayang kaya ka nyang dalhin. kayang kaya ka nyang buuin. o sirain.

i've always feared that kind of man, but strangely i've always found myself attracted to him as well. siguro, nung past life ko, na-in love ako sa ganong klaseng lalake. 

al pacino the actor is ok. but michael corleone wins my heart. pero dahil i've come to associate michael with al pacino, intrigued na rin ako kay al pacino. lagi siyang associated din with two of my past crushes --- keanu and kevin, pero ngayon ko lang talaga siya tinitingnan in a new light. matagal ko na ring alam na magka-birthday kami--he turned 40 the day i was born--pero ngayon lang siya nagka-relevance. haha.

galing ni coppola. he creates those worlds so convincingly, i'm drawn to it. they're romanticized in my head. the godfather world, the dracula world, the apocalypse now world. galing galing.