and it's back to the great outdoors again

11:39 pm, pc clock says.
tomorrow i have to be up by 415 am. day 1 of Project RR starts tomorrow.

i'm starting to gain enthusiasm for this project. revving myself up. i can't start this without that, or else it will turn out to be another Compost. and i don't want another Compost. not all of it was bad--the friends were actually fun, and i think i did a good job there--but it killed my spirits for a while. it made me love the job a lot less.

i don't want a repeat. i want to do a good job, for the next 30 or so calendar days.

the Thundercat co-workers were reliving the old movie heydays again today. sigh. it depressed me enough to text both my parents and rant. nade-depress ako sa mga to, parang caught in a time warp. parang nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa kanila 30 years from now. ayoko.

same old rant for the past two weeks. oh well.
syempre the 'rents had a lot of wise things to say. after all, they would understand these peeps much more than i would--they're about the same age, they're there. i know. tatanda din ako. and age really ain't that big an issue. sensibilities are.

ayokong tumanda sa pelikula. not if i'm going to be in the same place that i am in now. they had great stories to tell, the experiences were impressive. but still. it's not the past, but the present that matters. it's not how far you've spread out, but how far you've gone.

i've had my time to play around options. and experience everything.
time will come when i will have to make some career choices that are possibly lifelong.
all i know right now is that i want to grow old comfortably. and i want the 'rents to grow old comfortably, as well, c/o me.

i have respect for time, age, and experience. but i don't want to find myself growing old one day and raving about the past like it were my present, mainly because the present doesn't give me as much joy.

so that out of the way, i cheered up a little when the meeting started, and i was reminded again that we were going to shoot stuff outtatown. ilocos, by the beach, sometime around june.

now that's inspiring. that's one of the things i love about shooting.
11:54 pm. enough for tonight. have to go to bed.
good luck to me, and i hope everything will go smoothly.