finally, freedom

...at least until december 28. :-)

ang hirap sa loob magtrabaho ng kalagitnaan ng pasko season. feeling mo victim ka, kahit ang totoo, mabagal ka lang kaya nagtatrabaho ka pa rin kahit pasko na. haha. pero thank you lord, for a wonderful 2015. an adventure, from all angles.

thank you lord, for more work to come. i still dream of being able to afford early retirement (and i can only afford that if i have multimillions stashed and invested,  and with a passive-income business taking care of me and my family), kaya maraming salamat po sa blessings. go go go 2016, let's work and work til we get there.

memories of feelings while there's a deadline to meet.

-  waking up early in the morning nang masakit ang likod mo. pero mas naisip mo yung mga sequences na hindi mo pa tapos. at anong petsa na.

-  lumalagutok na joints ng fingers mo from typing marathons. hello, middle age and arthritis.

- eating mindlessly in the wee hours to wake myself up

-  the beeping of my phone. may nagfafollow up na.  dreading having to read the message.

-  barely being aware of what day or date it is. or where the day has gone (gabi na?)

- being so sleepy while writing, kung anu ano na nasusulat mo. kung ano ang maisip ng utak mo kahit hindi related sa sinusulat mo, automatic na tinitipa ng mga daliri mo

- that heavy feeling of facing a big bulk of work that needs to be done. blank pages. unscripted treatments.

- the unparalleled joy of having pressed SEND. and the feeling of liberation after.

- the discomfort over having to tackle a difficult scene. (usually, i leave it for later. BAD HABIT)

- kilig and smiles when you're writing a scene that's supposedly kilig and funny (at bumebenta naman sya sa yo)

-  counting sequences

-  when you're in the moment at nagmamadali and someone wants your attention.
 
-  that wonderful feeling when you watch something you've written and you're happy with the outcome

- that sinking, MEH feeling when you watch something you've written and you're not happy with the outcome.

- brief relief  in between work sprints, brought to me by COC, P vs Z, FB, Tw1tter, P3X, and so many other diversions. :-(

- incomparable joy of hugging and talking and being with my daughter in between work sprints. relief with a big R.

- guilt. over missed deadlines.

- guilt. over makng people wait. :-(

- happy moments of eureka. when you get excited over an idea, you just couldn't wait to spit it out or put it on paper.

- blank walls. when you're facing a blank page, a new script week ahead, and at the moment you absolutely have no idea what to do

- that goosebump-inducing moment when you hear the theme song and you are moved to tears, remembering that love story in your head.

-  proud moments when something you wrote is appreciated by people.

- dead-of-night moments. when you just want to finish the damn thing. wala ka nang pakialam kung panget sya, gusto mo na lang sya matapos.

- fantasizing about that moment when you finish the final sequence. and wondering why it's so damn long before the fantasy becomes real.

-marveling at how a mere 15 sequences can cost me so many hours of my life.

- wondering why i can't just... breeze through writing the entire thing like a hurricane. why does 1frickin sequence take so damn long to write sometimes??

- being able to breathe easy and join the world of the living when you're done with your deadline.

- frustration when you are being made to write something you don't believe in.  ang hirap itawid.

- buying time, even when you haven't earned it yet.  :-(

- guilt. when you're doing something else, when you have a script to finish and a tight deadline.


Merry Christmas, world! Thank you Lord, for momentarily free days. :-)