never again

i got drunk last night. and it wasn't a very wise thing to do.
my mother called me to ask me where i was. which was strange, because it was only 10 pm. i said i was with a co-worker, at shakey's. my voice was slurred, i knew. i was tipsy, but i was lucid.

one proof that i was was that i was conscious. and could still sense things. and still harbored the same reactions to those things that i could sense as when i'm sober.

same, but with significantly more tolerance.
kumbaga, hindi ka magagalit sa tao, hindi mo pepersonalin.
kaso, pag lasing lang ako ganon.

waking up to memories of last night, i wake up to blechs. dahil kung sakali mang tama ang na-sense ko kagabi, kadiri. alibadbad. kung sakaling totoo, i would feel betrayed. for trusting, and considering someone as a friend, tapos ganon.

kasi YUCK. dahil anak ako, at may tatay ako. at hello. ka-edad nyo po sya. at nakakababa ng respeto sa inyo, kung sakali man. nakakabetray, at nakakababa ng respeto sa tao, at nakakaalibadbad. sana mali ako, sana lasing ako talaga kagabi, at mali ang suspetsa ko, dahil nakakadismaya kung tama pala ako.

just minutes ago my mom said she called me last night kasi bigla daw syang kinabahan kagabi, for some reason. na-bother ako sa sinabi nya. sabi ko, katrabaho ko ang kasama ko at safe ako. sabi nya, you never really know people unless they're you. or something to that effect.

ayokong mag-isip ng masama sa ibang tao. pero just to be sure, never again.