hindi ako naniniwala na "yun" ang normal. kasi kung "yun" ang normal, eh kebs na. i'd rather keep on dreaming of the abnormal and impossible than settle for the so-called "norm".
* * *
went out for cigarettes. wonderful weather, downcast and windy. i rarely go out of the house except when i'm leaving for work or someplace else, but i was glad for the fresh air.
this is not my best day.
* * *
i'm wracked with coughs and a slightly worsening cold. gusto ko sanang lumabas. meet up with friends, etc. pero wag ngayon. i wouldn't be the most animated person to be with.
osobear and i are seeing some movie tomorrow. same old, same old. i'm tired of routines right now. i just want to see him more often. maybe i'll make that my major angst in life. kesa naman mag-angst sa mga mas nakakadepress na bagay.
sana matapos na ang araw na to. sana bukas na.
ang ganda ganda ng pusa ko. pero kahit sobrang nagagandahan ako sa kanya at nahahawakan, nakakatabi ko sya, a moment always comes when i don't know what to do with her beauty.
i wish i could sleep. i can't.
i wish there are bigger dreams, bigger sources of happiness. i wish i were more hopeful.
i long for someone to talk to. pero di ko na sila iistorbohin. they did not come into my life to play the role of a shrink.
* * *
i know. i'll make coffee.
coffee will be my ultimate source of happiness. at least for the moment.
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