another unpublished entry from the "baul": a love letter (i was ranting, yes, but underneath that, it was actually a love letter) to my then-fiance, now-husband.
i'm supposed to pretend na OFW ka. i'm supposed to make FRIGGIN DEADMA. and then you text making paawa. nahihirapan ka, etcetera. ako naman si gaga, naawa naman. hindi nga kita dapat kinakausap e! dahil HOY, nagtatampo pa ko sa yo! pero kawawa ka naman kaya ayan, kahit two curt words with a period binigay ko na. para naman wala ka ring maging rason para magtampo sa akin.
ngayon ano na naman? gusto ko nang magmura ah! tangina! number two commandment sa akin, wag na wag mong kakalimutan ang goodnight! at ang number one commandment, wag na wag mong kakalimutan ang monthsarys!
AND JUST FOR THE RECORD, i hate your job. i've hated it even when it was still my job.
i was many months pregnant, extra clingy (hormones, maybe?), controlled by my hormones, longing for extra attention. sakto naman, naging busy sya nang sobra dahil sa bagong posisyon sa trabaho. my mind understood, but my heart---OH, my heart!---was rebelling. throwing tantrums all over the place. i was bratty, but really, all i wanted then was him by my side. being a father to our unborn child.
romantic pakinggan (blech), pero alam ko, mali. dapat naiintindihan, dahil nagdaan din ako sa trabahong yon. at nagtatrabaho sya noon, para sa baby namin. lesson learned, on retrospect: hinding hindi dapat nireresent ang trabaho ng bf/jowa/husband mo. blessing yan. at ginagawa nya rin naman yan para sa inyo.
pero natatawa ako sa sarili ko dito. ang petty lang, the preggy me of 5 years ago. or maybe hanggang ngayon ganyan pa rin ako. HAHA
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