happy thoughts.

• a finished and complete week 8 script
• good feedback for week 8 script. 
• the day i submit the finale script, many months from now. 
• a good finale script. 
• movie date with osobear
• a finished and complete run with consistently good episodes and good (good is enough, di na ako aasinta muna ng great) story development from beginning to end.  
• a DVD copy of said show 
• vacay abroad with my mama and baby girl 
• wrap party! nang walang iniisip na deadline!
• selfie with J/C na maayos ang kuha ko at mukhang masaya sya na kaselfie ako!
• beer at the wrap party
• late 20s-30s na ratings for the show
• a finished day 5 para makapagpahinga ako kahit sandali lang.
• a beautiful beach 
• sunsets and sunrises.
• long hugs that won't let go from my babygirl.
• long hugs that won't let go osobear. (kung ayaw ni hubby, kay J/C. haha #asa)
• me at 48 kilos again. 
• hanging out with babygirl playing P VS Z.
• taking babygirl to school without worrying about work
• being with babygirl without worrying about work
• european vacation nang di iniisip ang gastos
• multimillions invested in different instruments 
• being financially stable. not needing to work to survive. 
• the day my brother finishes friggin college. 
• that giddy kilig feeling i get when writing something i'm particul

umay is good

it works well for us. pero grabe, umay to the a1dub level, just hearing those screaming fans.

pero dapat talaga magpasalamat ako. kasi the day that i don't hear those screaming fans would be the day we don't want to happen.

maraming beses na habang nagsusulat ako, kinikilig ako sa isang eksena. if it works on me, it might work on others too, cause i'm a pretty common kinda girl. lalona sigurong magandang mapanood, with a director who's just wonderful and on point when it comes to mounting those kiligsenas. i love her for that already.

kaso, nanditona tayo sa puntong...paano ako kikiligin kung hindi pa ako nakasakay. hay. diesel. hanggang kailan kita paiinitin, bwitre ka.

good to great, like to love

feeling ko, under stress, under pressure, the best that i can come up with would only be something to the level of "good".

"good" is passable, "good" is pwede na.  but we don't want good. we want "great". and more than once in this journey, people above me have turned something "good" into something "great". genius, almost, which i genuiunely appreciate.

kung may time lang sana, i would want to make "great" my goal, every single time. pero pag pagod kana... "good" is enough. tragic.


people can teach you things and you can learn from them.  it doesn't matter how old you are, who they are, or what the circumstances are. everyone has something useful to offer, and i should learn from people whatever i can learn from them.

going, going, gone.

hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ako. may anti-bandwagon mentality. kapag nagustuhan na nang iba to OA proportions ang nagustuhan ko, it kinda turns me off. nawawala na yung interes ko, dahil sa utak ko parang nagiging overrated na sila.

i used to like A1dub. loved them to bits. and then, everyone went berserk over them. i stopped watching altogether. nawalan na ko ng interes.

parang poging lalake. nung dalaga pa ako, i rarely have crushes on the conventionally handsome (doesn't incllude movie stars). kasi pag conventionally handsome, malamang maraming ibang nagkakagusto. bukod pa sa takot ako sa heartbreak dahil maraming tukso, ayoko din nung idea na isa lang ako sa isang batalyon at hindi unique ang taste ko. (#nagpapakaiba?)

parang ganito rin ang nangyayari kay J/C. everywhere i go, everywhere i look online, lahat na lang babae yata eh nagwowater-water sa kanya. a wonderful thing for our show.  pero parang naumay na tuloy ako sa mukhang yun. kasi lahat na lang sya ang bukambibig. lahat na lang ng panty everywhere kailangang pigain when he does that signature smoldering soul-gaze.  he's become the new pi0lo, na noon hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kinahihimatayan (dahil siguro the female frenzy preceded him bago ko sya nakilala o nakatrabaho). i'd rather go for the low-key, pero wala namang ibang low-key na pwedeng maging inspirasyon, at hindi naman pinipilit ang ganon bagay.

basag trip #1. pag naging crush ng sambayanang kababaihan ang crush mo. (hindi sa nagseselos ako. alam naman nating lahat na wala tayong pag-asa sa kanya. haha. ayoko lang talaga sa supermainstream. mainstream na ngang maituturing, uma-a1dub levels pa).

so thank you, for giving me gasolina for weeks 3-7. okay, week 8. fuel running low. :-( that's when i realized i'm getting over this little "inspirational" ek.  not even the thought of you beckoning me to sit down and write your story could fire me up. :-(

huhuhu. i need something else to fire me up.  nasa punto na ako na hindi ko na maintindihan ang babae. hindi ko masakyan ang motivation nya, dahil hindi ko naman naranasan ang naranasan nya. and even if i was placed in that situation, i would've reacted differently.

11 more weeks of labor to go. lord, help me. please, just a dint of brilliance and discipine lord. deadline kopo bukas.

learnings

week 8. script.

grabe ka. uhuhu. i hate you! i wanna kick your lazy ass!

don't break the illusion. one glitch in the matrix, the illusion is broken, and there goes their fantasy.

do an emotion map. ON PAPER. mark the progress, mark the exact turning points. on print. do NOT rely on instinct and memory, cause when you're puyat/pagod/distracted/ whatever, sometimes instinct and memory ain't gonna be enough.

when it comes to this, i'm a virtual grade schooler. i might need a few more shows in this same setup (more responsibilities, more autonomy) to get the hang of this. good thing is, right now, i'm fricking game for it.