Tuesday, August 09, 2016

lunatic nights like these

just submitted work 24 hours late, so forgive me. so many things i want to do all at the same time, diet has been OUT the window for the past 7 days. i just feel trashy. physically. so i just want to dump a little here, pasintabi pow.

naiinggit ako. sa mga nag-aabroad for work. kasi, libre silang nakakapunta sa ibang bansa. oo, work pa rin, sabi ni osobear. pero still, libre!

kelan kaya ako ipapadala sa ibang bansa for work? oo na, writer po ako. hindi kailangan ng writer kapag nagshushoot out there. syempre, mauuna ang headwriter o creative manager sa slot na yun. hindi pinapadala ang mga graphic artist/draftsmen sa site, mga arkitekto/engineers pwede pa.

greece. japan. the mediterranean. the U-frickin-S. yung isang bossing up namin, nakailang bansa na this year pa lang. do i have to become a big boss para lang makalibre ng travel abroad because of work? kelangan bang maging direktor para lang makaburaot ng libreng trip abroad?? (at mind you, 1st unit! ang mga 2nd, waley, nganga dito sa pinas, nanghuhuli ng tutubi habang nagshushoot ang mga 1st unit out there in the world)

naiinggit ako oo. pero hindi yung bad na inggit (yung tipong--- sana hindi na kayo mapadala for abroad ever! or something ill-wishing like that). yung inggit na, "sana ako din". dahil wala na yata akong narating beyond the four corners of this phosphorus screen. hanggang pangarap at imagination na lang.
itchyfeet. lagi lagi. FB, IG. they're bad for the inggiterang frog like yours truly. lakas makaitchyfeet ng mga scenic shots.  lalo na kung libre pamasahe. huwaw. yun ang trip na trip ko. ang makalibre.

pero kapag yung tipo ng vacation trips na ikaw lahat magbabayad, parang...meh. di ako naiinggit much. kasi magastos.  kami pa naman kapag umalis, hindi pwedeng solo trip lang (PERO gusto kong itry ito. GUSTO KO TALAGA! yung mag-isa lang! at gumasta nang di ko iniisip ang gastos, dahil SOLO lang akech! HAHA). laging TIMES 3, TIMES 4, TIMES 5. hindi ko naman maasahang gumastos ang osobear dahil sya na sa mga basic necessities (me, wants. him, needs) so YEAH... kaya siguro laway na laway ako sa mga out of the country company-sponsored trips na HINDI naman ako sinasama. HUHU. in fair, wala naman yatang writer na sinasama sa mga ganun. 

* * *

japan. ramen. okonomiyaki. the city at night. the cherry blossoms. mt. fuji. 

greece. kahit saaan don. basta may dagat. 


the US. 



HK. again. and again. and again. 

hell, kahit vietnam papatusin ko. (kaya inggit ako kay hubby! libre sya na may per diem pa!)

at marami pa akong pwedeng idagdag. kahit saan nyo ako ipadala, basta libre! okay lang sa aking gumising ng maaga at magtrabaho sa production (dati ko namang ginagawa at namiss ko din), basta libreng experience of a new place out there. libreng memories to look back on when I'm old and gray. 

hay. investment. ipon ipon, tipid tipid. all i think about everyday, besides my babygirl and work, is money. obsessed with making money. obsessed with being wealthy. being free to do whatever i want, maintain the same lifestyle (even more) without having to work. millionaire fastlane. it keeps me up at night sometimes. i wonder what that business is, that business that will make all my financial dreams come true. Lord, please, show me. 

dahil nakakapagod magsulat bilang trabaho. well lahat naman talaga nakakapagod kapag naging trabaho. kahit wala ka sa mood, kailangan gawin mo. everything takes work. kaya swerte na rin talaga ako, dahil yung dati ay pastime ko lang, na love ko naman talagang gawin kapag paminsan-minsan, naging trabaho ko.

yun nga lang, hindi ako pinapadala sa ibang bansa ng kumpanya ko.

taena, eh yung LD nga na kaklase ko nung highschool! pinadala sa LA! huhuhu! inggit much!

bakit ba ko ganito??

kasi dati, nung nasa prod ako, kung saan saan ako timitilapon. yung mga times na pinapadala ako out of the country for work, naenjoy ko talaga. kaya ayan, throwing that WISH out there, tossing it out to the universe. I WISH I GET SHIPPED OVERSEAS FOR WORK. Wag lang sa middle east. Dubai, okay pa po Lord. At sana po wag sobrang tagal. Parang pagsusulat lang din yan, masarap kapag paminsan minsan o maiklian. Pero kapag nakababad ka na, gusto mo nang umuwi, 

sabi ng universe ano ba tong taong to? Nagwiwish na nga lang, ang dami pang demands! 

Basta po yun ang wish ko. sana po, kahit writer lang ako, mapadala din ako abroad all expenses paid. kahit 1 week lang hehe :-)

adik mode? wala ang saya ko lang. kasi tapos na ako sa weekly show script. kaya mahaharap ko na ang treatment for week 3 ng serye. na medyo daunting task for me. kaya magkecandy crush muna ako ngayon (DESERVE KO TO after that weekly show script!) at pepetiks. tapos  aattend ng 11am meeting bukas, at manonood ng c1nemal@ya films all day tomorrow.

haist. c1nem@laya. there was a time, it was my beacon of hope. 

i have a secret. nagsubmit ako ng storyline once. the first, and so far the last. that was 2004. hindi nakapasa e. nahurt ako much, kaya hindi na ako umulit. ang dami kong excuses every single year. daming work, busy sa life, di inspired, etc. ewan. 

kaya i believe that when it comes to success in life, there are two kinds  of people. those who DO and those who DON'T.  unfortunately (or not?), i belonged to the latter category. i had  a dream once, but then i did not do anything about it. the farthest i got was to apply for a film outfit Scholarship, which sealed the end of that childhood dream. 

so, ngayon, and mga aspirants, wala nang excuse to not DO. you can shoot an entire movie using only your cellphone. ang dami nang avenues para ipakita mo ang galing mo (kung meron man). hindi katulad nung panahon namin, na wala pang masyadong digital chever. film talaga, at monopolyo ng mga film outfits. you don't get to be a "legit" director until you're past 30. 

ngayon, at 10 you can. wow, the internet. wow, digital revolution. you have made the world such a better, better, better place. you've leveled the playing field in so many ways.

so there, i feel like... drinking beer. why not! got an 11 am meeting tomorrow, got to fall asleep!

bye for now!


Friday, July 01, 2016


blame it on the hormones, on the appetite suppressant i've been taking. and a few unpleasant details that cloud over my sunny skies. yet, despite all that, there's more to thank God for than be sad about.

husband is flying to vietnam for a 2-week work stint for Da Haus. sad wifey me, because I've never been that away from him for that long, not since the day we were married. I think.

i've gotten so used to coming home to a house filled with all his noise and mess (TV on in the sala, him sprawled on the sofa tapping away on his laptop). but i know, i'll get used to it. before i know it, he'll be back home.

it's so damn hard to lose frickin weight. because of the last project, i had let myself completely go. :-( and my body showed the damage, from late nights munching away at anything and everything to cope with the sleepiness and the pressure, from sedentary working hours, from lack of sleep and too much sugar in the bloodstream for many months. i really thank God for owtwowl, but I really hope that when the daily deadlines start again, I wouldn't damage my figure as horribly as I had done during owtwowl.

so now, while it's downtime, i'm trying to get myself back in shape. keyword- trying. three weeks ago scale said i was 60 kgs. today, i'm 58.  5 measly frickin pounds in three weeks. and it still doesn't frickin show.

so yes, i'm sad. but it's the appetite suppressant, i know. and the hormones. if i could only get back to my 48 kilogram self then maybe, i'd be 20 pounds happier

Sunday, May 08, 2016

starfish, sandbars, and sea snakes

FOUND THIS IN MY "DRAFTS" BIN-- haven't gotten around to finishing and publishing, so here it is!

gad, so many things to write about!

sorry dahil naaalala ko lang magsulat dito kapag may deadline ako, blogging is one of my fave procrasstinasty-ing ways.

so after that finale script, scripting for the show officially ended february 12. after that, i planned an impromptu weekend family getaway to this place:

Stilts, Calatagan in Batangas.  A really charming, beautiful place. If you crave for nature, peace and quiet, somewhere you can reflect and just...stay still for a while-- this is just the place for you.

so tempted to rent those cottage on stilts (the smallest of which costs P8,000+ a night), pero tadhana na ang nagdesisyon for me---  wala nang bakante.

i wanted to celebrate the finished job with my family, and celebrate we did by the beach! sa mga bata pa lang, sulit na sulit na. it was our pamangkins' first time to go to the beach and they thoroughly enjoyed... the pool.

we went all the way to batangas for a swimming pool. seriously, kids?
i don't know what it is with kids and pools. nung bata kasi ako, between the pool and the beach, i'd take the beach any damn old time! seashells, shovels and pails, waves pulling back the sand from my feet, the soft dry sand, the clouds, the blue horizon--those are my fondest early memories of the beach. and i had wanted our babygirl to have those happy memories, too.

uh, she wasn't too happy there, scared of "eels" that might be lurking in the seaweeds abundantly scattered around us. she also doesn't like the sand clinging onto her. oh well. at least she liked the pool.

it's a really beautiful resort. service is also excellent! the beach, though, is not ideal for swimming, because of the seaweeds (masakit sila sa paa, actually), and the fact that the tide can get very low all afternoon. for waders, this is really cool. but swimmers will only be able to "swim" when the tide gets high near sunset.

but here's the catch.at sunset, it's also"exploring" time for certain sea creatures. that afternoon, i had a near-brushin with a sea snake! i was floating face-up in the deeper waters when my companions told me there was an elongated black-and-white creature inches away from me. hindi ko na tiningnan yung "creature"- i bolted. instantly! no looking back. just ran!

i told the front desk about it, they said sea snakes were part of the natural topography of the place (sea snakes live in coral reefs--i think stilts very near or probably constructed right where calatagan reef is).

lesson learned- do NOT swim in the sea near sunset, unless you're fine with the possibility of swimming with snakes. however, should you encounter one, don't panic, just leave them alone and let them swim along. sea snakes don't bother you unless you bother them first.

Yes, Stilts is where little fish swim around your feet and starfish lie around the shore 

I remember this moment at sunset. Daughter was asking father, bakit lumulubog ang araw? or some nature question like that. then, just a few feet away from them, something leapt from the water and dove back in again. coming from the snake scare, they instinctively ran to shore! later na lang namin narealize kung ano yon-- isda! natuwa naman ako! dito lang ako nakakita ng isdang lumalangoy kasama ng tao. cosmopolitan girl that i am. charot!

we spent the night by the sea-- a first time for me in many many years! ours was a beachfront cottage. that night the moon was full and bright (thank you lord, for this beautiful sight). my husband and i sat outside the cottage til dawn, talking, just breathing everything in. the wind, the sound of crashing waves, the lights from ships and bancas passing by, the moon and the stars. 10 years ago this would've taken my breath away, but now it's just something really special. that steady, quiet kind of love. you know you really love someone when both of you have gone past the can't-take-your-hands-off-each-other stage and you still want to be together, still enjoy being with each other.

as dawn came closer, the tide got lower, and for the first time, we witnessed a "moonset"-- (lumulubog din pala ang buwan?) and in those parts, ang bilis pala ng paglubog nya-- as the sun rose on the other side, the moon went down twice as fast.

early morning, we took a stroll around the resort.

Super low tide in the early morning hours. The shore became a vast, vast sandbar. There was this dog running towards the edge of the water. stopped there, and just barked. kept barking for a about a minute, just barking at the sea! naisip tuloy namin-- nalunod kaya yung amo nya sa dagat? ritwal kaya nya ito araw-araw?

the shore was teeming with living creatures-- mollusks of different kinds, still inside their shells, starfish (grabe may isang sobrang laki!)

this starfish was probably as big as my hand. sobrang laki!
my thoughts exactly. sigh.

i really wish we could have stayed longer. i would've wanted to spend a weekend in one of those stilt houses. waking up to the sight of the sea, right in front of you.

Sea Snake notwithstanding, I would really want to go back to this place. God-willing, soon. <3

Thursday, May 05, 2016


..a love story of your own, Simon. Though hindi ikaw si Simon, kamukha mo pa rin si P@ul0 @vel1no. :-)

after owtwol, i shed off the Simonista in me and moved on with life. really easy to do. parang artista lang din ang writer, haha.

but now a new story has to be told, at ikaw na naman. it's a romance, at kailangan ko na namang irevive ang girlhood self ko at mahalin ka kung paano ka mamahalin ng babaeng mamahalin mo.  really easy to do, also. sinisimulan ko na.

lord, sana po maikwento namin nang maganda ito. at sana magustuhan ng mga tao, with figures and noise to prove it.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

how do you tell an ex that you want him back the "real" way?

by "real", meaning--
- not soapy or cringe-worthy
- not desperate
- subtle

i have no idea. haven't had sleep since last night, it's 1pm and it's 5 sequences to go before bye-bye owtwowl. (sayang, our cm wil be handling the finale. :-( konti na lang yun e. the most exciting part of the show... stolen thunder!)

yan ang setback ng 1 boyfriend lang ever. wala akong ex. di ko alam feeling ng breakup, o dealing with an ex. pero.. KERING KERI LANG, Lord. Wala po akong  intensyong maranasan lahat yan. research na lang po sa ibang tao.

thank you Lord! konting konti na lang! goodbye and sepanx time!

kahit ang dami daming emotions ang naranasan ko dahil saa project na 'to.. mahal na mahal na mahal ko 'to.  (pag di ka affected, hindi mo mahal)