Friday, March 22, 2019

work mode...

... dapat, at least. Deadline on Sunday, 60+ sequences. I really should start now. But strangely, I'm compelled to write here whenever I have a deadline. huhu.

Just to update this blog on my ketow journey. It's been 80 days, and scale says this morning that I'm 53.5 kgs. Malaki pa rin ang tiyan, pero marami nang nagsasabi na pumayat ako. Nakakainis ang malaking tiyan. huhu. IF dapat talaga, pero sa gabi ako nagugutom. Sa araw hindi ako kumakain, pero sa gabi, dapat one full meal na lang talaga, pero paano. Nagugutom ako sa gabi!

But KCKO. keep calm, ketow on. My new target weight is 48. My weight during my 20s. Dati I didn't think I could get back to that. Pero on ketow, it's possible. It might take time (1 kg every 2 weeks ang weight loss rate ko, most probably), but not impossible. 48 around 13 lbs away.

13 lbs! I'm overweight. Mahirap malagas yun. Those 13 lbs are around my torso mostly. Waist, hips, thighs. They say the fats around these parts are the hardest to lose. Isasama ko pa sana ang fat around the face, pero nagbago ang isip ko. These plumpers around my face make me look younger than my 38 1/2 years. Bwahaha. Detailed analysis itetch ng kakikayan. Sorry. But right now, my weight is the heaviest of my lightest concerns in life. Wag na tayong magdwell sa heavier concerns, dun na lang sa nakakapagpa-optimist in me.

13 lbs. I know I can do this. Today deadline, fasting ako til I can manage. They say the mind is at its most focused when your stomach is empty. So yesssss. I can do this. 15 sequences to write today.

My babygirl is Top 2 in her 3rd grade class. Congratulations my anak. You have no idea how much I miss you and I love you. I've been having meetings all week, I know, at daig mo pa nga ang tatay mo sa pag-iinterrogate sa akin sa tuwing aalis ako (saan ang meeting mo? anong oras ka uuwi? anong pagmimeetingan nyo?) but I love it that you're that way. I love it that you want to be with me. That you want to be around me, and spend time with me, and our evenings are Mama and babygirl time.  

Sunday, March 03, 2019

14 sequences away from completion...

... and submission is tomorrow morning. Maybe 11AM. It's 8PM. I can do this. I CAN!!

I'm tired from a day-long field trip with our daughter and niece, but that's alright. I'm an owl anyway. And after this entry I will get back to work and start finishing those 14 sequences and before I know it, I'm DONE. Press SEND. Then.. freedom. For the moment!

See, it's better to be positive. Because positivity means you have FAITH. in yourself, in God most of all. You have faith that He is capable of even the impossible, and that He can answer and WILL answer your prayer for tonight.

My prayer for tonight, Lord... sana po, mameet ko ang deadline bukas ng umaga. Sana po, ganahan akong magsulat. Sana po, tulungan ninyo ako, bigyan nyo ako ng gasolina at disiplina, to sit down and just write and do my job. Please, Lord. Please grant my prayer. I know You can help me. I pray that You will.

Keto talk na naman. It's March 3, I just weighed in and scale says 54.7. Pero since it's going to be an all nighter and we never know if we will need an emergency addition of (low) carbs, baka bukas mag-50 kgs pa yan. Sana hindi. Sana bulletproof coffee lang ang kailanganin ko to last me through all night.

It's strange, the changes. strange but happy! Yung wedding ring ko na nasa fourth finger, maluwag na. Kaya nasa third finger na ngayon. And just this morning I noticed, yung shoes ko-- bakit parang medyo maluwag? Dati, sakto naman ang sukat.  Not just one pair, but 1 or 2 nung mga nakaraang araw. Then I realized-- OMG. Lumuwag nga sila. So that means.. MY FEET lost some fat. HAHA. Pati pala paa, nawawalan ng taba sa keto. Ang weird naman ng mga parte ng katawan na nawawalan ng taba-- daliri, paa. Hello, andaming taba dito sa tagiliran at tiyan o!

Last year nung field trip ng anak ko, cheat day because of boredom. Lahat na yata ng bawal nilamon ko (I was also on Keto at the time-- first attempt). Pero this year, YEHEY. I came in prepared. Cooked my own meals (3 of them, just in case). Ang daming carbs sa paligid ko-- fastfood, desserts, etc. Pero wala akong desire, not the least bit tempted!

At ang energy all day. Steady, babe! This was a good mood day. Kumain ako ng mga tamang pagkain at umuwi weighing 54.7, despite having eaten breakfast, lunch and evening snack.

All these they say are symptoms you are fat-adapted. Sana nga, tuloy tuloy na. So sabi nila, dapat magIF more. I naturally IF in the mornings and afternoons (well, fat-fasting kasi may MCT oil ang kape ko all day). So yeah maybe. IF na strikto starting tomorrow.

Konti na lang, nasa tamang timbang na ako. Konti, as in 10-15 lbs konti. May laki lang talaga ang tiyan, baywang at balakang. Pero kaya natin yan!!

BUT FOR NOW.. WRITE, BEEYATCH. WORK!!