Wednesday, August 31, 2005

old friends diary#2

gawd i miss madelynn.
the girl from nueva ecija, the "tibak" who loved malling, the coed who hopped on a ship and was never heard from again (at least, to date). the ultimate cynic when it comes to love. next to her i end up looking like a naive romantic.
i wonder if someone has broken through your barbed wire fences yet. europe and the mediterranean must be full of trespassers.

old friends diary#1

Happy 25th Birthday, Kresta!
Now it's your turn to go through that limbo-esque passage into the quarter-life.
I wonder at what age are you going to get hitched. And if you would get hitched ahead of me.
Haha. Most probably yes.
Or maybe, none of us will.
We're not the Prune Sisters!

* * *

Kresta's my fellow T10ngs0n1te.
The CEO of our exclusive, solid, ever-loyal fan club of the Gay Old Man.
I was the President. There were more than 2 members, fyi. 3, to be concise.The other one, Madz, was our Secretary.
I miss those Masscomm lobby days waiting for the Gay Old Man to come out of the department and make his way across the lobby towards his car (bronze lancer, wasn't it? TNV 10sumthin? NXV 39sumthin?). Man, we lived for those moments at that time. Kresta and I. We adored this man. He was our hero. Our intellectual muse in flesh and blood.

Monday, August 29, 2005

tales from the cryptic (or why the beeyatch played hooky on a work night)

it's past 11. i cast another question to the wind, in statement form.
the silence was a wall. i'm used to it, but it would still disappoint me everytime.

* * *

only when the present becomes the past do i come to fully appreciate it. the memories are usually much more enjoyed than the experience itself; i'd still be caught in the past when everything else would be passing through the present. i hate it.

baguio. shivering under the drizzle. walking along those busy streets. inhaling the mountain air. long and winding roads. familiarity of friends in an alien place. endless talks on the bus to baguio. jackets and bonnets. taxi drivers who give exact change. tavern meals. gloc 9. unmentionable names.

subic. swimming in the sea. playing those silly singing games on the way to the beach. yellow cab and videoke. those khaki-ed bespectacled days. sleeping in a parked bus at dinnertime, after a sudden downpour.

bohol. sitting next to a first-time flyer on the plane. hilarious romance scenarios involving two advance-party coworkers in bohol. text messages across the miles, during shoots. giving up my throw pillow, sitting on the sand. huddling in the sidelines with workmates while the artistas cried oncam. candid insinuating jokes. discreet laughter.

eliminations. standing on the sidelines while the show went on. whispering tally results to someone's ear. exchanging comments that only we could hear. the dancing pink mascot. tearful interviews. post-show dinners.

dinners. cheapsteaks. edong's. petruss. that resto along esguerra. that open grillery along mother ignacia. grilled bangus and liempo. pancit canton and mechado. salisbury steak with mushroom sauce and chilled mocca. rootbeer. banana split. laughter. deliberate attempts to momentarily get work off our heads. more candid jokes. non-reactions.

videoke. gary v. christian bautista. american idol. avril. alanis. smooth criminal. "doble cara". tell me where it hurts. galileo, galileo. kitchie's run. my cellphone.

reality checks. timecodes. audio/video. late nights and early mornings. hearing someone sleeping in the adjoining room. laptops at work in preview 5. dead-of-night chats with matimtiman over coffee. my birthday. that soft blue blanket that everyone else uses, except me. one-on-one talk before a crying session. the boys laughing at my tears. my embarrassment.

fiction plots. ym. text messages in the dead of night. real life finding its way in the stories we weaved. a workmate's comic loveless woes. the boys pairing me off with just about every waiter, driver, and security guard we come across. lock-in brainstorms. genuine laughter. boxers. happy together. ironic remarks. ironic rebuttals. ironic silences.

ironically, i would always think that the ultimate happiness is still reserved for the future. maybe i'm wrong. maybe happiness is all about the here and now, those little moments that make you laugh. taken for granted in the present, hankered for in the future.

soppy sh**t.

it's past midnight. time to go back to work. i'd always thought that my act three would culminate in videoke. guess the lord has other plans.

act three

act three has come.

i had to fight for the sadness to not get to me. i had other things to do.

after a couple of menthols and some time to think outside of myself, i realized that things do happen for everyone's ultimate good. someone from up there was meant to make that decision. someone else was meant to make his choice. you were meant to make your own. and i was meant to forget those happy-sad moments of the past seven months to be able to move on.

oh well. at least you're happy. that makes me a little less sad, somehow.

side by side (?!) with the moon and mars in baguio

just when they said that mars would be at its most visible to earthlings on August 27, i was havin a pipin' happy time with a bunch of friendly artsykwelies in Baguio. Hardly saw the red planet through that rooftop window...there were just too many cute straighties around to ogle. haha.

just came back. it was a spur-of-the-moment trip to the city of pines with friends. exactly the kinda getaway that i need...or maybe not. cause the guava still hasn't fallen, and it's down to...what...five days? f---k it. oops. just went to mass yesteday.

twas raining almost all the time but this weekend will still go down as one of the most memorable outtatown purely-leisure trips in my recent history, for the following reasons:
* first time kong makasakay at makapag-row ng bangka (in burnham park's manmade lake)
* first time kong makasakay ng kabayo (sa wright park...medyo corny dahil puro trotting lang ang alam ng kabayo kong puti (huy! mag-gallop galore ka naman!)...pero a first time is always sumthin
* first time kong maglakad mag-isa sa mga kalsada ng camp john hay at 2am--walang katao-tao, eery glow of streetlamps, thick thick fog---para kong naligaw sa set ng isang horror movie. been hearing ghost stories about this place, pero sabi nga nila, matakot ka na sa buhay, wag sa patay, and i guess i was more scared of getting mugged/raped/slaughtered in that isolated place than getting chased by ghosts. thank god it wasn't my time yet.
* first time kong mapunta sa much-heard-about baguio landmark that is Cafe by the Ruins
* my first time to check out OMG, Kidlat Tahimik's veggie-serving uber-cool watering hole at the heart of Session Road. Artsy pipin' crowd!
* at first time kong makapag-Sunday Mass in quite a while (thanks, Father Monjam). may mga sakristan palang babae? during the priest's sermon i wanted to raise my hand and ask him: how do we apply that passage, "take up your cross and follow my lead" to daily life? but then nobody does that in church masses--wouldn't want to call attention to myself. paminsan-minsan na nga lang ako magsimba, manggugulo pa. haha.

well wouldn't ya know. the weekend passed like a breeze, and i'm back to the usual life again. now if i could only get myself to sleep and wake up in time for work tomorrow. brrrrr.

Friday, August 26, 2005

sea of mystery

there's something really mystical about the sea. especially on a moonlit night.
i remember those bohol waters, one month ago. and the lone lamplit banca. if the fisherman got caught under those waters, would he have survived? or would the mermaids take him away?

mermaids in that oilbath! funny.

i remember the company, too. like children on vacation. after a long day's work, jokes. questions in a fishbowl. evasive answers. blowing out smoke. the wind carrying the noises of a nearby bar lounge. the tarsiers and the crabs. the rustic bell tower on a rainy afternoon. dozing off on the plane and waking up to see someone staring out the window--like a child--at the scene down below. waiting at the airport. hanging out in someone else's hotel room. water spurting out from a mischievous adult's mouth...onto us. carla, carla. the water, the water. how beautiful it seemed at night.

3rd (re)reading from the FORBIDDEN FRUIT anthology: The Mermaid. if it weren't for the myth and the milieu, i wouldn't have written about this. it's a story i've heard before--mythical creature nurtures affection on a mere earth dweller, takes him into her world, then out of love returns him to land, where he really belongs. but not before erasing the memory of her in his mind. the poignant part that i like--he felt a deep sadness, a deep longing like something was lost, but he couldn't understand, and he couldn't remember why. it suggests that feelings do come from the heart, and not based on the comprehensions of the mind.

i remember my own Mermaid story from long ago. two brothers who both get entranced by a mermaid. she has the Ariel syndrome--the passion to become human will transcend all other passions--but the one drastic way to that is if she could lure a human to their kingdom underneath and eat his heart. if i had the chance revise the story i would have dwelled a bit more on the sea and its mysteries. i think i'll be entranced by it for life.

question -> void -> answer

i threw an oblique question out into the wind, and i got my answer.
it hurt.
but i'll be fine. i got used to it before, i'll get used to it again.
i wonder what kind of survival mechanism will this fledgling little mind employ now.

and the dirt is on the big bro housemates

you know that newest reality tv show on the abscbn bloc, big brother? 12 housemates, cooped up inside a house for 100 days, no contact to the outside world, just each other and a bunch of tasks to play with. every week someone gets voted out. the personalities are slowly comin out, and from what i've seen so far, i'll brave a few random impressions on the 12 housemates:
* i think the first one who'll get the boot will be that teacher racquel. bossiness, even if it's just put-on, turns a lot of people off.
* uma used to be an early favorite but after throwing a semi-tantrum over his houserule-breaking sanction (his hands were tied while doing a task), was a bit turned off by his kaartehan. other than that, though, he seems kinda a lovable character. extra pogi points for francen cause he was cool about the sanction.
* that self-proclaimed beeyatch chx definitely has the hots for rico. at least her actions seem to say so.
* and that cheerleader-type say definitely has the hots for jb. she said so herself.
* can't blame her. that rich-kid jb sure is one hottie, anyway. sana lang hindi bading--would be a big loss to womandom if he turns out to be a member of the fairest gender.
* tung si nene, at mukhang type nya si fhm model cass. it would be interesting to see one of the guys somehow turn nene around--or at least, try to.
* type ni racquel si bob?! sorry, teacher, mukhang mahilig sya sa mga fhm models. my heart really goes out to you, girl. unrequited liking is just too familiar a territory.
* there's probably some promising chemistry between single mom jenni and that married guy who was her partner in the handcuff challenge (forgot his name). kilig-to-death ang confessional moment nila. papasa nang loveteam!
* nakuhanan ng camera si rico scratching his butt--thrice. euuuuw. turnoff. good luck na rin, hankering for that ex-gf of yours. who knows, by day 20+, rico might even end up giving in to chx. and then breaking her heart on day 30. ha! men.
* two housemates that would make an interesting loveteam: nene and racquel! hahaha!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

the entry that holds the most number of (pseudo) metaphors

i just realized that my mind is, in one respect, akin to an impotent penis: the more anxious it is to perform, the more it stays limp.

i'm just waiting for the guava to fall.

and praying, for the first time in who knows how long. that if my dream is meant to become my life, i'd stumble upon something very soon.

second story that i (re)read from the FORBIDDEN FRUIT anthology: The Edge of Rupture. supposed to be erotica but i was happily surprised to discover that it is, in all essence, a romance. an 18-year-old girl becomes enamored with an enigmatic 34-year-old man. from swimming in the "opaque green sea" to biking across the idyllic countryside ("he looked like a marionnette in that small bike"), her initial dalliances with him seemed simple enough...even innocent. but the undercurrents--her attraction to him, the very mystery of him, his unrevealed thoughts, the ominous feeling of gloom that this young girl's whirlwind summer romance is bound to be doomed--counterpoints all that surface innocence.

but the author's greatest achievement in this passerby reader is that the male character was so vividly realized---so much so that i wonder if such a man actually exists. almost like a hero in those cheesy romance paperbacks...only more real.

maybe such a man exists. a man who's seen the world and still gets fascinated by the simplest things, who'd effortlessly guide you through those opaque green waters until both of you reach the sandbar from a mile away, who'd dream of your past if you slept close enough to him, who wouldn't take advantage of your youth and your attraction on the first intimate moment, who reveals so little yet gives so much.

my ideal guy.

four months ago i was singing a different tune. but things change. a dream can die in a moment, and you might not even notice it. i think it did, in my case. the moment stretched on for four months.

(gawdangit. writing throws my life out of balance. i always have to pick pieces of me back up.)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

mundane little insomniac thoughts

3:30 am, gawdangit.
sometimes, the harder you try the more you can't.
but i've been carrying that motto in the back of my mind for too long.
if i can't, maybe i just have to try harder.
so i'm gonna try to get some sleep now.

as if naman susunod ang matigas na ulong 'to. grrrrrr.

two days ago i (re)read a short story about a young girl who loses her virginity to a carabao. haha. not the kind of sex that you might think, nothing physical. she walks in the middle of a (literally) hot night onto the open rice fields, finds a small river, and goes for a dip. then she sees this carabao nearby, supine, watching her with heavy-lidded eyes. 'what beautiful dark lashes, she thinks.' and what a 'wicked eye'. and then she starts to swirl round and round through the water, feeling herself change, 'like eggshells breaking'. breaking and unbreaking. split apart and then made whole again.

and all that, because of a carabao.

the metaphor was beautiful. classic (which could sometimes translate to "cliche"; haller, freud) but effective. so the idea popped into this cloudy brain one time, that maybe i can try translating this story onscreen. it'd be logistically and financially easy to make, and it was written by a Filipina author. (Tina Ocampo, was that her name?)

but i'm starting to wonder if the images would come out as powerful as those words. so that means whoever should attempt to translate this onto the audiovisual medium would have that weighty responsibility--to achieve the same whangdang impact that the written piece had on a passing audience, like me.

hmm. let me sleep on it. and let me rearrange priorities. ano ba talagang mas importanteng unahin? ano ba talagang dapat munang isipin?

how to make myself fall asleep, maybe. for now.
and then, maybe trying to get some of those long voluminous bangs on me tomorrow.
but before that, breakfast. yum!
and the mundane little insomniac thoughts can go on and on and on.

Monday, August 22, 2005

erratum rectum (yes, the beeyatch is back)

so i'm shocked. i actually wrote that entry below. too much has been said. and so. if the wrongest person is reading this right now, what the hell, buster. we all go through our own moments of madness sometimes.

oftentimes. every seven months or so.

don't flatter yourself too much. everything has a shelf life, after all.


rainy days and mondays

a monday. a rainy day.

sometimes i like to stare into space. and think of lost tomorrows. or tomorrows that i wouldn't want to lose. can't lose this one. i've lost one too many in the past two years.

sometimes i glance at you. and wonder if you're not as clueless as i think you are. if those ironic movie-ish moments weren't so ironic, after all. you've seen these things before. maybe you're even better at pretending than i am.

sometimes i look at you. for a moment longer. and marvel at how, in an alternate universe, you could have been The One that Got Away. but in either universe i know that there wouldn't be any difference in the way you would see me. so i always end up concluding that, maybe, i'd be better off in this universe after all. the reality of someone who simply couldn't love you would hurt less than that of someone who just wouldn't.

somehow i've always managed to draw some happiness out of everyday that you'd be around, but today is not one of those days. must be the rain. must be a lot of other reasons. but i was amused by the possible reality that nearly everyone in that table might actually be in love with you. haha. if that indeed is the case, i'll bet you probably know that as well.

three months ago during a summer storm i wondered aloud why rainy days would make me sad. you humored me. "rainy days and mondays?" you probably won't even remember you said that. but i'd always remember that phrase, everytime it rains, everytime the sadness gets to me. rainy days and mondays, haha. no thanks to you.

i look at you today and marvel. i've been this way for months now, what is it about you? and then i notice the unusual shade of rouge on your cheeks. uh-oh. is that what i think it is?

i look away and turn my thoughts to other things. maybe i'm mistaken, maybe i'm not. it wouldn't make a difference anyway. tinted cheeks or not, reality will still be the same. and believe me, i've come to live with it. how stupid can anyone get.

i'd laugh about it on normal days. i'd wanted this movie to be a romantic comedy. but it's monday, and a rainy day, yet again. it's harder to laugh than on any other normal day.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

entry #101

wow. this is my 101st post. just wanna say WAHOOOOOOO!
my mundane concerns-of-the-moment:
1. a work deadline to meet.
2. less than three weeks to cast my hopes on something that may potentially be the antedote to my frustrations. lord, i really want it. i have no idea what to do right now, all i know is that i want it really, really bad. and that i can't pass up this chance, cause it may take a long time for the next chance to come again.
3. a week til the next paycheck.
4. am thinking of getting a trim. quit playing safe and change hairstyles for the first time in four years. maybe a few things in my life will change for the better, as well.
5. arghhhh! gotta start on that script!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

zombie talk, part 2

5:45 am, the pc clock says.
a wednesday.
i'm sleepless. not that i couldn't. i just musn't.

what a mad night. my laptop--my partner in labor, my favorite machine--gave up on me. definitely not for good and probably not its fault, but i was pissed that it just HAD to bow out of the game a few minutes before the deadline. hey bust-turd thought we were a team. was stark raving mad at the hapless machine, i wanted to hurl it against the wall.

so logic flies when you're a zombie. tonight there was no rational little voice in my head saying, "that's a machine you're cursing at, yknow". no holds, no restraint. i stood there cursing a machine in the middle of the night, tearing at my hair, wondering whatever did i do wrong to anyone to deserve such luck. who knows, though. maybe i'll be happy later.

and now i'm here. a "fly-by-night". waiting for the world to wake up. putting off sleep, testing my limits. what's the longest period of time that you can stay awake?

god. what i would give, really, for a tropical hut hamburger right now.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

zombie talk

sleep. sleep. sleep.
the world is up and about. i'm just about to fall into slumber.
it's past 4 pm.
it's a tuesday.
just reminding myself of the quickly-passing now, cause i tend to forget.
i forget a lot of short term memories. why? it really breaks my heart, man.
zzzzzzzz. why are you putting off sleep?
i hate working at my own pace.
i hate my normal style of sentence construction.
i hate having to light another cigarette again.
i hate being caught in those time warps.
but i love you.
or rather, the idea of loving you.
at this point in my life, it virtually makes no difference.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

off the top of my (sleep-deficient) head

* i just missed my first heartbreak sunday today. not having been on the set. not having seen it on tv. the show was aired live today and i was snoozing...woke up to text messages saying that CARVANE was the casualty this week. how sad. carlo is such a good actor. he would have been more than able to play a key role in the upcoming loventure. i just can't see anyone else from the group being able to give that role more justice than carlo.
* and so it's down to the final four. man, the end is nearing. when back then they were 9 threesomes. can't help looking back to those reality days--the offscreen romance, jealousies, angsts; how the kids would practically one-up each other (yes, halata sila) by showing the most colorful versions of themselves in an effort to seize the camera's attention. competitions are always good TV. but i think the show was at its most interesting when they were still all threesomes. that was the peak for me. para kang nanonood ng real-life teen soap opera.
* yahoo! my laptop has the TEXT TWIST game already!
* new favorite parlor(?) game: TABOO. winning is addictive. haha. and seeing someone laugh in such a way that he never did before (except during quirky videoke renditions of "Annie R U OK?" by one of our friends) is somehow addictive as well. man, i'd like to see you laugh like that more often. pure glee. unforced. sans the put-ons.
* there's a world out there that's pulsing with blood and life, and it frustrates me that i'm not part of the revolution. it frustrates me, because once upon a time i was bound for that direction. and then somewhere along the way i lost sight of that. it frustrates me everytime i'm reminded.
* thank god for people out there who can relate to these frustrations. i wouldn't have known how to survive those occasional bouts without those SMS conversations.
* why do i always freeze? i think i've been frozen for the longest time now. i'm scared of one day finding out that i've been hacking my way through life all along. but in my more optimistic moments i'd find myself hoping that maybe, JUST maybe, i'm much better than i actually think i am.
* i don't know. the answer will always be just a brilliant work away from being attainable. i'm scared. but aren't we all, every now and then?
* if you want it bad enough, maybe you'll get it. if you don't, then it must mean it's not gonna be good for you. in the grand scheme of things, maybe we are given the things that will only ultimately do us good. ultimately.
* haven't gone to mass in a loooong time. lord, i know you're still there. i know that you know that even if i don't pray often my faith in you is solid. i know that you will only give me what will be good for me.
* how many times have i not gotten the things that i so badly wanted. i wanted that cinefondation scholarship. so bad. i wanted that rapper guy to fall in love with me. bad enough to pray for it every single day for, like, a month. i've wanted to meet my deadlines. so badly, everytime. and i've wanted to make that next short or feature-length script for the longest time now. but somehow i can't even get past my initial fears. oh please. we've heard this all before.
* we can't get what we want everytime. but i can't complain because there were things that i had badly wanted that were given to me, and at times i'd get some good things that i didn't even ask for. well, i didn't ask for wonderful parents. i didn't ask to be born. so i'm thankful, in that respect.
* but it's human nature, i guess. to have the tendency to see the glass as half-empty. my life is a quarter-full glass. sometimes it just gets so tiring to strive towards filling it up more, but moments like that will always pass.

/ riddle /

what's a fitting metaphor for something that freezes under pressure?
1/ water?
2/ a worm?
3/ the male organ?
4/ my friggin MIND???

Friday, August 12, 2005

a week in the pseudoexistence of this particular beeyatch

Days can pass so fast I hardly remember some of them anymore. But I know I must immortalize this prove that I've lived it.

Day One - Monday
• A breather from our day-long brainstorm meeting that day: a brief visit to what might just become the most popular house on local TV. It was quite homey but the vermilion walls somehow didn’t settle well with me. Makes me think of Jollibee, circa 80s. Giggle.
* Went to that far-flung place called Paranaque in the middle of the night to get my demoreel done. I'm from West of the metro so that city might as well be at the edge of the world, as far as I'm concerned. was up all night doin what i had to do and left the place on a cab at 12 noon...hohum...virtually sleepless. the hefty price of a cab from the edge of the world to home was just enough to depress me.

Day Two - Tuesday
• Been on a bad-mood streak these past two days since a certain little discovery, and i had to fight it the entire day. Maybe PMS or sumthin’--haha, talk about attributing your character lapses to your gender. Being a woman is a great excuse.

Day Three - Wednesday
• Funny how…moments that would’ve been somekind of a “milestone” (to use a friend’s term) just couldn’t elicit some form of bliss on my part. Oh well. Maybe Act Three has come. But on the same day that I realized that, I realized with some sadness that I didn’t want Act Three now. Life’s just too bland without the movie-ish twists.

Day Four -Thursday
• Highlight of day: videoke with the same group I’d been with in the past three days. I love videoke. And under particular circumstances like that one last night, came to love it even more.

Day Five - Today
• Spent the whole afternoon trying to get the work on paper. All day.
• And most probably will get some more work on paper. All night.

Day Six – Tomorrow
• More work on paper. All day and night. So the cycle goes.

Day Seven – Sunday
• Hopefully, watch two or three of the following borrowed DVDs/VCDs:
- Happy Together by Wong Kar-Wai
- The O.C. series
- Elephant by Gus Van Sant
- Amores Perros by Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu
- The Classic (a reputedly beautiful Korean film)
- Sassy Girl (ahhhh! Everyone’s been raving about it!)

Hope the rest of this week turns out to be wonderful. Hey, even not-so-sweet girls can say those kinds of things…and mean it!

videoke! videoke!

Official Repertoire on Videoke:
1. You Oughtta Know by Alanis Morrissette
2. Complicated by Avril Lavigne
3. Don't Speak by No Doubt
4. Someday We'll Know by Mandy Moore and New Radicals
5. Waiting in Vain by Annie Lennox
6. Run by Kitchie Nadal
7. You Learn by Alanis Morrissette
8. I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan
9. Bakit? by Gloc 9 and Cookie Chua (usually the Gloc 9 part)
10 Love Moves in Mysterious Ways by Nina

Thursday, August 04, 2005

dibidi! dibidi!

Something to note, cause it hasn't happened in many, many months: for the past week, I was watching movies nearly everyday. Wahoo. I'm in couch potato heaven.

1. IRREVERSIBLE - crime and vengeance told in reverse. The visual transition device they used from one segment to another (a somewhat more polished version of the camerawork in Blair Witch) was something different. Of course, the "reverse" storytelling was something different as well, but I think mas nag-succeed doon ang...

2. MEMENTO - kahit told in reverse ang story, ramdam mo pa rin yung traditional 3-act arc--nag-climax pa rin sya around the last ten minutes of the movie. thanks to a few revelations, hind nag-lag ang dulo kahit alam mo na ang ending...brilliant nya talaga.

1. BRING IT ON - escapist aliw. kirsten dunst looked great in cheerleading uniform. the love story subplot is annoyingly kilig at if it were THAT easy for people to hook up in real life!

1. EROS - trilogy about sex and sensuality from three AUTEURS: Antonioni, Soderbergh, and Wong Kar Wai. Liked the Soderbergh segment. Kinda plays with the theme of life being a dream itself. The Wong Kar Wai segment is, well, signature Wong Kar Wai. The shots, the look, even the characters! Gong Li was BEAUTIFUL as the courtesan. But the actor who played the male lead kinda paled in comparison to past Wong Kar Wai actors Tony Leung and Leslie Cheung. Or maybe that's just me. Hehe.

1. REQUIEM FOR A DREAM - Among this week's movies that I've seen, I loved this the most. Especially loved the climactic montage in the end. Galing ng pagkakahandle ng multi-character chorva. Galing din sa style. Kakainis dahil may dream project akong halos pareho ng style at ng isang subplot sa Requiem. And that project was written long before I got to see REquiem! Grrrr...mehn! Just goes to show everything's been done and thought about, really. Pero superganda ng pelikulang to. Forerunner of Trainspotting.

2. MEMENTO (FOR THE 2ND TIME)- it's the kind of movie that you will want to see twice to fully appreciate...kinda enjoyed putting the pieces together on second viewing!

1. KUNG FU HUSTLE - had a blast watching this. makes us root for the underdogs!
2. REALITY BITES - it's THE movie for anyone who's gone through that post-college syndrome. cool soundtrack. beautiful winona. a more robust ethan. and wouldn't you know, first directorial debut pala ni ben stiller, pre-SOMETHING ABOUT MARY? astig.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

top 5 things to do on a rainy night

top 5 things to do on a rainy night:
1. cuddle up on a beanbag chair and watch dvds til kingdom come. add a cup of some warm concoction (frothe coffee or mallowed choco would be ideal) and you're all set to get lost in the movies for the rest of the night.
2. listen to coldplay or hale at mag-emote habang nakadungaw sa bintana. (erm, not advisable for lonely souls. so if you are one, skip this.)
3. indulge the internet addict in you, for whatever reason. post blogs. drop comments on other people's blogs. post bulletin boards on friendster. check websites you haven't been to. kill time, waste prepaid, distract yourself from the hollow sound of rain outside your window.
4. do something creative. take on that personal project you've been stalling for the longest time. write that storyline. who knows. one year from now the storyline might just turn into a fleshed-out movie.
5. sing. to yourself. to an audience. with or without a microphone. sing the sadness out of you. don't let the rain beat you out. otherwise, you'll end up doing number 2...a not-so-productive way to deal with the blues.

so why did i even write it down in the first place? ewan. sometimes we do things--and feel things--that even we can't understand.

Monday, August 01, 2005

and the month begins on a rainy day...bummer

High(and low)lights of a mundane day:
* It was horribly cold inside the office that we stayed in the whole day. Hadn't been feeling well already. Felt even worse when I got to see that "Pi0lo" gay-porn video from one of my companions' laptop...NOT the kind of stuff that would cheer up THIS girl.
* So that's how they do it the gay way. Same position, different slot. It's gross from this perspective but who am I to judge, right. I'm a biased beeyatch. That horrific video conjures ugly visions and it made my head ache like some beeyatch's un-oiled a$$. ouchhhhh!
* On ordinary days rain would lighten me up, but not today. Nothing could be a sadder sight than the stains it made on the glass windows. Nothing could be a sadder sight than anything, really. Today was a bummer. Not even Kirsten Dunst in a cheerleading movie could turn me around.
* Which brings me to the one highlight of this day: BRING IT ON, THAT cheerleading movie. What cute fluff to get lost in.
* Soon after the closing credits, I lit a menthol stick and went back to rainy-day mode. I would fairly consider myself someone who would rather be told the truth in most cases, but I'm getting to know myself a bit better. There are some truths, really, that I would rather not know.