these days, happiness is...

...watching prison break with my bosobear
...seeing my baby girl smiling up at me
..."talking" to my baby girl and her "talking" back to me
...shopping at the ukay-ukay with bosobear for bedroom comforters
...seeing my baby girl play with her new baby gym
...a cigarette in the middle of the day
...energizing coffee in the morning
...work-free holidays at home with my family
...holiday vacations in marikina with my parents and relatives
...paycheck
...singing "i wanna be a billionaire...so freakin bad..."
...saving up enough for a gazillion things
...a good hair day
...a job well done
...beating the deadline
...a kiss and a hug

home for christmas!

here in marikina with our baby aysie. tomorrow the hubby will arrive to join us for noche buena. grabe ang paskong to, daming gastos...pero all in the spirit of christmas, sige na nga...basta para sa pamilya, go na...next year na lang ako babawi.

cheers, papa jesus! happy birthday!

hoping for an equally happy (if not happier) 2011!

happy ako...dahil tapos na ang deadline!

and suddenly i want to do so many things, having finished 2 scripts 6 hours before deadline (haha, proud ako?)!

i want to finish my christmas shopping. get a leg and underarm wax. giftwrap. breastfeed my baby. go to marikina and take care of my keanna. all these, i pray, i can do over the weekend. ;-0

last tuesday i went to a meeting feeling giddy, for the first time in years. wearing a happy-to-be-here smile, optimistic about life, raring to give everything my best shot. on that table were two of the best writers in our unit, and i was almost in awe...most of the time i'd only get to be in a meeting with either one of them. and now i'm going to work with both of them in this project.

salamat po, lord, for the new blessing...sana lang po wag akong biglain...pero tulad nga po ng sabi ko, kung bibiglain ako, sana ulungan nyo po akong kayanin. sana, two to three (or four) months from now, hindi na ko matatakot, dahil kaya ko na. basta kayo na lang ang bahala, lord. in your own time, at your own pace, i place my life in your hands.

gusto ko nang ibreastfeed ang anak ko. dahil sa deadline buong araw ko sya hindi napadede ngayon. ayoko namang hindi na nya ko makilala dahil sa trabaho ko. wag naman sana, lord. love na love ko ang anak ko! nakakagigil sya!

i'm thinking of buying a color tv for the family in marikina. i wonder if i should buy it this december. lord, ano po sa tingin nyo?

pasensya na po lord kung kahit sa kaliit-liitang bagay, iniistorbo ko kayo. i know you wouldn't mind, anyway. love you lord! :-)

it's beginning to smell a lot like christmas...

..or not. i used to be so good at being able to tell by the smell of the air. but that was when i was still living in marikina. and that's because i'd lived there all my life, kaya alam ko ang pagbabago-bago ng simoy ng hangin sa suburbia. pero ngayon, living at the cusp of urban malabon, medyo mahirap malaman. it's my first time to spend christmas away from the home i grew up in. ibang-iba ang pasko na to, dahil sa mga pagbabago sa buhay ko. first christmas with a new baby. first christmas being married. lots of firsts.

two scripts to go for the soap we're writing. it was seven months in the making but strangely, parang ambilis ng mga pangyayari. i didn't even climax, figuratively speaking. mas mahirap pang manganak kesa gawin ang soap na to, for a multitude of reasons (lots of time, one or two scripts per writing session, the fact that it's an adaptation), pero it's gonna be biiiig. ramdam ko. and i really hope that it would prosper on 2011.

excited for 2011. change is good, i should always remind myself. like most people i'm afraid of change, but really, it is good. it will be good for me in so many ways. i anticipate a little pain that goes along with the transition, pero lahat naman ng growth spurts may pain that would go along with it. and yes, i expect a growth spurt from me. nothing less. walang ibang choice kundi maggrow, at maggrow nang mabilis. or else!

afraid. pero happy and thankful. and praying so hard, so fervently, that he would be my guide, and my ultimate mentor. dahil para ito sa ikauunlad ng buhay. para ito sa pamilya ko. and most of all, para sa anak ko. cliche as it may sound, gusto mong mabigyan namin sya ng magandang buhay. i just realized na iyon na ang misyon ko sa buhay. masayang childhood, magandang edukasyon, maginhawang buhay para sa anak ko.

and to get all that, i have to move up. be better. learn more.

overall, grateful and content, lord. thank you po. happy birthday to you in advance. love you po! mwah!