My Fling with Online Selling

Mahirap magkaroon ng kabit. Kasi pag may kabit ka, hindi lang puso mo ang nahahati sa pagitan ng kabit at asawa. Pati oras at atensyon.

Eh importante pa naman ang oras ko. More important than money, actually. Kaya nga simula nang "nagpakasal" na ako sa trabaho ko 4 years ago, tumatanggi na ako sa mga "kabit" (ibang raket) na aagaw ng oras at atensyon ko away from my day job.

Kaso eto, lately...nadarang ako. Bigla akong nagka"kabit"---an online buy and sell business. Di ko alam kung bakit bigla akong pumasok dito...siguro kasi dahil kay C0layc0. Siguro dahil naexcite akong bigla to invest in other instruments. At siguro dahil naiinis ako sa sarili ko na ang gastos ng mga "bisyo" ko and buying and selling was my way of keeping my vice expenses at bay. Might as well pagkakitaan na ang pinagkakaluhuan.

So I started, and it grew. And it excited me. I was never good at math, but this brought out the mathematician in me. Haha. Computing figures. Thinking of strategies. Even the menial jobs, like packing my wares for shipping, somehow excited me. The prospect of my money earning me more money in a relatively short span of time was---for lack of a milder word--a turn-on. Barya lang ang kita per item kumpara sa kinikita sa day job, pero sa bawat baryang kinikita ng maraming items na nabebenta, naaamaze ako. Sa bilis ng balik ng capital. Sa percentage ng balik. Ke maliit o malaki o moderate ang capital mo, it's the percentage of returns that I was looking at, and I was happy most of the time. Kasi yun ang tipong hindi maibibigay sa yo ng bangko. Not even mutual funds or stocks or any other investments. Kasi yung mga yon for the long term. Pero ito, money back plus profit in WEEKS. 20%. Even 60% on good days.

Kaya addictive siya. Kasi I have not done someting like this before in my life. I had never thought I could actually sell anything, salestalk anyone into buying ANYTHING. Pero pag naniniwala ka pala sa isang bagay, hindi mo kailangan ng salestalk. your faith in the product just flows out naturally hanggang sa makumbinse na rin yung nakikinig sa yo.

So naging full-fledged "mistress" ko ang mini-negosyo kong ito. At naging busy ang mga araw ko bukod sa trabaho. Kumain ng oras ko. Nearly every single day I was always rushing about, processing orders, shipping stuff, computing prices, texting/emailing/correponding with clients online. Buti na lang nagkataon na hindi toxic sa day job, kaya hindi nagkakabanggaan ang asawa at kabit. So for quite some time I carried on with the fling, and I was happy.

Kaso eto na. Nakakahalata na si misis. Nagiging demanding na si kerida. Umaagaw na ng oras at atensyon. At hindi lang oras at atensyon...pati puso ko gusto na nyang agawin. Dahil high pa rin ako sa tamang pagkainlove sa bago kong negosyo, may mga oras na nagtatrabaho ako pero nasa negosyo ang puso at isip ko. Para bang mas gusto ko pang asikasuhin ang negosyo kesa trabahuhin ang dapat trabahuhin.

Nakakadisturb. Lalo na ngayon, dahil paparating na naman ang kabusyhan days. I am bound to have less time for the mistress, and whether I like it or not i will have to decline moneymaking opportunities for the sake of the day job.

confused. inlab. happy ako dahil ang tagal bago ko nagain ang trust ng madlang netizens na clientele ko. ngayon ko pa lang talaga naeenjoy ang reputasyon na slowly ay nabuild ko over a few months of honest and easy transactions. pero paano na yan kapag kailangan ko na syang bitawan. ayoko syang bitawan. pero nakakadisturb itong nararamdaman ko. na mas naeexcite pa ako sa "kabit" ko kesa sa "asawa" ko.

and then ito na. nagkaproblema ako sa website kung saan ako kumukuha ng mga clients. sinuspend ako. for the past two days, sobrang bad trip ako sa website. because every single friggin day that my online shop is not accessible to potential buyers, i am losing potential profit. gusto ko silang gyerahin dahil hindi naman ako dapat sinuspend.

pero naisip ko ngayon lang...siguro blessing in disguise na rin. maybe it's god telling me, SET YOUR FRIGGIN PRIORITIES STRAIGHT. you can't take in a wife and a mistress and keep them both happy at the same time. magsulat ka, beeyatch, dahil yan ang pinakasalan mong trabaho. yan ang first love mo, ang true love mo, ang dugo at buhay ng working life mo, ang bread and butter and marmalade mo, ang dahilan kung bakit nagkaroon ka ng capital para magnegosyo on the side ngayon. ang barubal mo lang kung mas mamahalin mo pa yung "kabit" mo kesa sa tunay mong "asawa" na syang nagbigay sa iyo ng lahat.

so yes, lord. i'm listening. got stuff to do for work over the weekend. will focus on that. the "mistress" will take a backseat this time. okay lang kahit matagalan bago maubos ang mga stocks ko, bago makuha ang kita at capital. okay lang kahit yung mga dating suki na lang ang maging clients ko. i can only give a small portion of my time and attention to this business. i can only give a small portion of my heart. because any old beeyatch can sell a bunch of meds or a box of glutathione. but not everyone can write. I should always, always remember that, and be grateful. and set my priorities straight.

kasi ang "asawa" ko, may mga anak na ako sa kanya. marami na. at dadami pa in the next many many years. the labors of love bind me to my job. because of those labors of love, the job becomes so much more than just a job. siguro sa mga panahon na nauubusan ako ng gasolina...na nagsestray ako...balikan ko ang labors of love na yon, and iba pang dahilan kung bakit ako nagsusulat bilang karera. aside from the money. because not everything is about money, bluey blue. it's good to be financially literate. but don't fall into the trap of materialism. it's just as bad as ambition, and look how ambition almost broke you. don't fall into another trap again.
 

kumusta naman?

kumusta naman yung same ang concerns mo one week later?
kumusta naman yung karambola ang mangyari sa workload mo?
kumusta naman yung alas 3 na ng hapon at ang sarap lang magkape habang kumakain ng hopiang ube?
kumusta naman yung namiss mo biglang mag-abroad?
kumusta naman yung may utang ka pang sequence treatment at napakapasaway mo nang tao talaga? (ha? ha??)
kumusta naman yung gusto mo lang ng isang araw na wala kang gagawin kundi maghilata?

eh kumusta naman yung puro kumuta naman ang laman ng blog na pinag-aaksayahan mo ng panahong sulatan?

happy sunday. smile!

and...it's...done.

2 days late. dinaig pa ang script taena.
sorry for the foul mouth. it's just that sometimes...it feels like you're walking with lead on both feet. para bang may humihila sa yo pabalik at di ka makausad. at hirap na hirap ka. at wala kang kagana gana.

pag ganun ang pakiramdam ko, usually, the project does not push through. or the presentation doesn't. or whatever. whatever the outcome, at least i'm done for the night.

oh, hindi pa pala. nagpromise ako na magsasubmit ng treatment today. for a concept na hirap na hirap akong isipin kung paano patatakbuhin ng 5 gaps.

demmet. why can't i be a genius like you? idol na talaga kita.

Happy 2013!

This year, I promised to respect other people's time. Which means I should never be late for a meeting or a deadline again.

Wala pang isang linggo, binreak ko na nang ilang beses ang resolution/promise ko. Mas madaling sabihin kasi. Sorry naman Papa Neo Year.

Hay, time. Such a precious commmodity. Even more precious than money. You lose money, you can get back the same exact equivalent. You lose time, it's gone forever. Every second, every moment is unique. It can't be replaced.

I really should save time. I really should learn how. It's not in moving quickly, cause I move real quick if I need to, can even outwalk someone twice my size if I'm running late. It's in THINKING quickly. Processing quickly. Cause dun ako tumatagal. Pwede kayang maimprove yon? Or am i really just wired this way?

FOCUS. Another thing that I need. So badly. Lately.

Hay! Happy new year! Para lang may maipost dito. Getting to need this blog less and less as I grow older. Bad sign?