I know the work should always be on top of my priority list. And it is.

I know I shouldn't feel too bad that you deleted our mutual testimonials to each other on Fwendster. I shouldn't feel so bad that it would distract me from my work. I'm here for the job, brother, and everything else is just incidental.

I sent you a message. "Burahin ba ang testi ko sa Frndstr? : ) Galet kpa dong?" I know I shouldn't expect you to reply. What would you reply, anyway? What would you say? I shouldn't have sent that message, shouldn't have asked, but I'm dying to know WHY, for God's sake, what did I do that made you do it?

Ang babaw, bro, I know. Ang babaw at naiinis ako sa sarili ko. Ang babaw ko para maapektuhan nang ganito. It should be about the work. It should be about career. It should be about my dreams. Everything and everyone else is incidental, and should never be a hindrance to the master plan.

What would you reply, anyway? If you would reply it would be something really plastik. The question was hard to answer. A text message wouldn't do at all. Nothing would probably do at all. You hate me. And I hate myself, because it matters so much that you hate me.

I've come to consider you a friend, bro. What's happening now? Have i been too transparent? Did my anger and pain show the night of November 4, when I could sense you flirting with the Korean-looking talent manager? Was that what made you mad, mad enough to try to hurt me?

Masyado naman akong nagfi-feeling na mag-assume na ganun ako ka-importante sa yo that you did that deliberately to hurt me. I was never anything but a co-worker, right. Just as you should be to me. I was always just in the periphery. I was never above a mere spot on your camera lens.

Did you sense my coldness, in an effort to try to remove whatever I'm feeling towards you, because you are what you are and I can never be anything but just a damn girl to you? Did you sense that I knew what you were up to when you were talking to that guy, and that I was bleeding inside just seeing you in action?

Bakit, bro? Bakit ka galit sa kin? The work is important. The dream is important. But right now there's nothing in the world that I want more than to hear your side. Because of two gawddang deleted testimonials.

Tumatanda yata ako nang paurong.