and it's a highway, my way

still in the express zone. happy, happy.

happenings of the past four days:

friday. november 24. our last shooting day for the Direk's Landslide Film. i loved seeing the Direk again. i love the Direk, period. not without the usual frustrations, of course, but it isn't like i've never had that kind of heartbreak before. haha.

i'm so in awe of him, and so afraid that he would sense it, that i couldn't even chat him up. kakainis. parang hayskul na nagdadalaga. hindi si direk ha, ako. :-D

and so ang resulta, para akong miss congeniality doon pagdating sa lahat. except sya. hay. what's new. i know i can never be friends with someone i'm in extreme awe of. my being stalwart-struck always gets in the way. i can never treat someone like the Direk as a friend, as an equal. funny how someone who's so down-to-earth and so seemingly simple can still be so intimidating to me.

he says he always visits my fwendster page. shet. sana hindi na lang nya sinabi, kasi natuwa ako masyado. at naiiinis ako dahil natuwa ako masyado. dahil kahit alam kong wala namang ibig sabihin yon, natutuwa pa rin ako sa idea na existing ako sa kanya.

saturday, november 25.
cinem@laya semi-finalists orientation at the CCP. a colleague's material got into the semi-finals and he wanted me to direct it. as i sat there with thirty-or-so other film aspirants i couldn't felp but feel a sense of de ja vu. i've been through this last year, but with a different partner.

i could sense a lot of hope and anxiety in that room. but i'm not surprised that i don't feel a lot of anxiety. a good measure of hope, yes, but i've learned my lesson from totong hilot (our semi-finals entry last year). this year i'm taking these things in stride.

good to see a lot of familiar faces in that room, though: my UP classmate rian (who's also been asked to direct another semi-finalist), the UF0 peeps (j@de, emm@n, em0ng lee), indie filmmakers paul0 villalun@ and chr1s manjar3s, and kastk1 flor3s who used to be the fair-haired girl in one mainstream film company whom i worked for.

hahay. indie is so "in" these days, it will probably end up being the new mainstream.

after a sumptuous dinner by the docks, i went straight to the dubbing of the Horror Movie in makati. i hate sitting through dubbing sessions. one of the things i don't like about the script girl's job. went home at 2 in the morning.

sunday, november 26.
prepared paperwork all day and night for a meeting with the TV show peeps the next day. i was sleepless all night.

monday, november 27.
went to the meeting with finished paperwork. meeting stretched all day. 2nd taping day was scheduled on december 6. one of the perks of this job is that they are sooo nice, they adjust the taping date according to my availability. i really should give back just as much, for everything i've been given.

9 pm. i lost my friggin wallet. damn. i think someone took it. in haste. sayang yung PhP 1K na nire-resist ko pa namang gastahin. naiinis ako sa mga magnanakaw. grrr!

after the meeting i headed to the Baguio Bold Movie's office in Boni to talk with the director about the film's opening credits. the film is currently in audio postproduction.

initially Direk I.E. and the producer had wanted me to do the concept for the film's opening titles. weird, kasi anubayun, di ba dapat sa script level pa lang pinag-isipan na yun ng writer, para kung me kelangang i-shoot na images exclusively for opening titles nagawa na sana namin. owell.

on the other hand, i was flattered. that they trust me enough to want to give me the responsibility. eventually, the producer texted me that the production house itself had volunteered to do the title credits on an X-deal. whatever that means. a relief for me. sayang yung TF, pero gumaan talaga ang pakiramdam ko.

dahil gusto ko munang magpahinga sandali. kahit isang araw lang. na hindi magtatrabaho, o lalabas ng bahay para gawin ang pinapagawa sakin.

last night, out of the blue, Baguio Bold Movie's Associate Direk, AA, asked me: "Saffron, personal question. Girl ka ba?"


that made me almost burst into laughter. because that wasn't the first time that someone actually asked if i was lesbian. anuba! just because i'm aloof towards those hetero sons-of-adam doesn't mean i'm into chicks. ehe.

kainis, kasi during our Baguio shoot, crush ko tong Associate Direk namin for, like, two days. now two years ago another crush of mine, the Artsy Fartsy Guy, had asked me the same "are you lesbian?" question. argh! napaka-clueless ng mga lalake! either that, o ako ang sobrang clueless pagdating sa Sining ng Pamemechay. the guys i like end up thinking i'm lesbian and disinterested.

haha!