especially when i remember this point in my life. being transported back to those days, napapausal ako ng pasasalamat. i thank god, for giving the chance to make a decision, 4 years ago. i thank god, for shining a beam of hope on me during those dark, lost, limbo-esque days in 2008.
reading back, i realize now just how painful it all was, writing the experiences with fresh ink and fresh memories. to say that i was miserable was an understatement. i was working on a project that i loathed but had to see through completion, i was counting the days, smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. kung hindi ako nagquit sa trabahong iyon, baka ikamatay ko pa.
natapos ang project. relief. joy. then came the realization. i wanted out, but i didn't know where to go. i had nowhere to go. i was 28, feeling lost and directionless, still in mourning over the death of a dream that i had nurtured for the most of my youth. i turned to prayers for hope. praying everyday, for him to lead me sa direksyon na gusto nya para sa akin.
and then, a text came. from a friend, with a door of opportunity. she was god's answer to my prayers. a beam of hope shone upon me. i gave it a try...full of hope yet full of fear...knocked on the door, expecting the best and the worst. and when a friendly face greeted me at the door, i felt relief course through me. i sat through the meeting, gave it my best shot...and the rest was happy history.
thank you, lord. hindi ko maaappreciate ang liwanag kung hindi ko naranasan ang dilim. thank you, thank you. kuntento na po ako sa ganitong lebel ng kasiyahan habambuhay, i'm happy enough with what you've given me. i only pray that i'd never have to go through dark times like 2008 ever again.
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