Week 3 Draft 1 (or The Little Red Book. or Bilisan Mo Na)

there were worse days. days when you'd feel like you're dragging your feet through mud. 

today is... what? i don't know. i can't speak about it. i just need to immortalize this evening. chronicling my journey through 10 or 11 scripts, like how i used to do before.

there are days when you just really want to finish it. finish it and get it over with! 

daig ng mabilis ang maganda. ika nga ng little red book ng fb. 

kaya gusto ko na lang talagang bilisan. bilisan. tapusin. tapusin, beeyatch! 

how i ache to get through the final scene. but the end just seems so... far ahead right now.

ano pang sabi ng little red book?

Greatness and Comfort rarely co-exist.  walang trabahong madali. lalo na yung trabahong gagandahan mo. mas mahirap yun. 

pero... daig pa rin ng mabilis ang maganda. kaya, bilisan mo na. 

ang daming gagawin pagkatapos nito. nakapila sila. 

kaya, bilisan mo na.

Fantasy Tuesday

Deadline  of Week 3, Draft 1 by Saturday night.
May gagawin pa para sa preparation for summit meeting tomorrow.
On the sidelines, 2 cookie deadlines up ahead. June 5th and 3rd week of June.

for an entire morning medyo nalito ako kung alin ang uunahin. Pero I've decided na unahin ang script deadline. Then allot the entire evening tonight to that summit stuff to-do thingie. Honestly, tinik sya sa utak ko. hindi ako makafocus dahil sa kanya.

Fantasy time.

That day when I can live on this baking business alone. Plus the other small side businesses, but this baking business, full time.

I will spend all day all night, just decorating cookies to my heart's content. Accepting orders left and right, making more than 1,000 cookies a month (or more!) because I can.

Then, there's the other pastries that aren't as laborious to do, kikita din kami doon. We can offer dessert buffets, even eventually distribute baked goods in bakeshops, bakeries, groceries, etc.

Magiging multimillionaires kami, earning hundreds of thousands every month, mainly on this baking business alone.

I'm throwing this out onto the universe. And claiming it, now.

But while the universe is working on my wish, I still have deadlines to meet. :-)

counting the days backwards

Monday.  Marikina time. After more or less 3 weeks I'm visiting my parents (and my cats! meow). Bringing my daughter and niece with me for an afternoon visit.  Sopas, computer games,  cats, sunny afternoons. That's what the girls will probably remember. I'm kind sentimental because our niece J and the rest of her family are leaving soon. They're living in Italy (they're half-Italians). I'm going to miss her. I'm going to miss her biking with my daughter in our backyard on lazy summer afternoons.

Sunday. Family time at the park. We took the girls to the Quezon Circle. Went biking, go-karting, played in the public playgrounds, then Jollibee after. Isang promise sa kanila na hindi matupad-tupad dahil sa kabusyhan ng buhay ko, until this day. Thank God for days off, kahit panaka-naka.

Had a measles scare last time. Nah, don't want to talk about that.  The impact of having measles sa work life ko. Disastrous. Buti na lang negative.  Okay, let's move on.

Saturday. Cookie deadline, 2nd order for the week. Di natulog, tinapos ang cookies na 3pm kailangang madeliver. All night, til all afternoon.  Nakahabol din, but not as beautiful as I would've wanted them to be. Sayang. i really need time.

In the evening, finished 3rd revision of the kiligserye script. I submitted right on time. Wow, that's a first in a longg long time.

Friday. Cookie deadline. 1st order for the week. husband and I had been doing these Winx cookies for days. Ang hirap pala nya. Kasi ang detalyado. had to forego certain details that would have made the cookies awesome. Buong gabi at umaga na naman akong gising. Then, the measles scare. Pantal all over. Went to the ER. Waited for doc. Yun pala tagulabay lang

Thursday. Labored all day for the Winx cookies.

Wednesday. My husband's birthday. Woke up early morning to bake a cake. Been a long time since i last baked a cake (puro cookies ako these past 6 months). I missed a step, which led to a misshapen mound of chocolate fudge that looked a lot like carabao dung. Hahaha. But the general consensus was, don't judge the cake by its appearance... cause it was delicious! Osobear said so, our nieces and nephews thought so, too. And my daughter just couldn't stop eating. Haha.

Dahil sa birthday ng mister ko, I wasn't able to begin work soon. Kaya ayun, buong hapon at gabi akong NGARAG. Napagalitan na sa text ng creative m ko dahil sa tardiness. Eh palipad sila papunang US the next morning, and they needed the script. :-( Ngarag talaga. Ang hirap magbalanse ng mga bagay bagay sa life. pero sa wakas na-submit ko din, all in, by around 11pm that night. Kakaguilty.

Tuesday. Feedback meeting with the new hotshot blockbuster direk. Thank God, minor lang ang comments ng hotshot direk at ng production m namin. Sabi ng headw kong si B, maging headw ka na Saffron, para maging creative m na ako. Haha. Sabi ko, pwede ka namang maging creative m nang hindi ako naghehead w.  Sabi nya, syempre kailangang may pumalit sa akin.

About being head w, I'm not sure if I want that. If I want something, as in really, really want something...I work my ass to have it.  Pero hati ang puso ko sa ganyang bagay, dahil alamm ko ang mga responsiblidad na kaakibat ng posisyong ganon. Honestly, ayoko ng mabigat na responsiblidad. Gusto ko lang ng maraming pera, and I'm willing to work hard for it. Pero responsiblidad na mas mabigat, ibigay na lang natin sa iba. I'm a wife and mother, and I have other interests in life. Writing is my profession, but it's just one of my interests.

Ayoko rin nung humahawak ng tao. Meaning, yung may mga subordinates ako na nakaasa sa akin. During my days when I would direct audiovisual stuff, hawak ko ang isang buong crew, pero iba ang shoots. Pag tapos na ang shoot, I'm not responsible for them anymore. Pag head w ka, you're responsible for your team for as long as they're your team (which could stretch on for years). responsible ka for your show, hanggang sa pagtulog mo.

Ewan ko, bahala na si Lord. Alam naman nya kung saan ako ilulugar. Marami akong pangarap para sa baking business namin. Kaya hangga't nandito ako, ipon, ipon. Kasi may shelf life ang lahat ng bagay. sobrang grateful ako for those na nagtiwala sa akin. Pero alam ko naman someday we will all be required to take The Challenge. I don't know if I would want to.

Monday. Presented to the direk the new latag for the coming weeks of our show. at 11pm. She was barely awake, sobrang pagod sya. Sana pala, Tuesday na lang kami pinagpresent bilang may meeting din naman kinabukasan.

Sunday. Labored all day to  finish treatment for the advanced scenes to be shot in the US for the show. Hanggang Week 5 sila doon kaya Weeks 2-5 dapat all in na. Dito ko naranasan yung nagtatype ka, pero sa sobrang lango ng utak mo, kung anu-ano na natatype mo nang di mo namamalayan. Para kang naghang na computer tapos nakaautopilot mode--- kung ano ang pumasok sa isip, yun ang tinatype. Kaya nung natauhan ako at nireread ko ang mga sinulat ko, nagulat ako bakit may mga  nakasulat na walang kabuluhan. First time!!


So that sums up an entire week. One of the busiest weeks I've had in the past several busy weeks I've been having. Thank you Lord, for busy weeks. Being busy is directly proportional to having more moolah. Which I like. Haha. Thank you!  After today's free day, I'm ready to embrace the whirlwind once again.

express lane days once again

these past three weeks parang nasa gitna ng buhawi ang working life ko.
juggling two balls. day and night. wala na time para pagupit, palaser, etc.
and now, finally, kahit for an afternoon lang... i can breathe.
(but not absolutely. dahil may 2 cookie orders na nakapila, deadline next week)

pero di ako nagrereklamo. tunog reklamo lang pero ang totoo, deep in my heart...nagpapasalamat ako. para sa trabaho. para sa sweldo. para sa mga taong nagtitiwala sa makocontribute ko sa kung anumang project ang meron sila. let's just keep werking it, bluey, til we're There.

10 years ago, "There" meant something else. My concept of "There" has radically evolved in the past decade.

For me, "There" is financial freedom. gusto kong kumayod nang kumayod para makaipon. para maging malaya na akong gumawa ng gusto kong gawin kahit di ako kumakayod. yun ang "There" ko ngayon.

because happiness for me now, is being with my family. cuddling with my daughter. hugging my osobear. being a wife, a mother. and a little baker.

para makarating ako to "There", i have to brave the whirlwind days ahead. not just brave. trump them. do my dang best, because i have committed. and people are relying on you when they hire you to do certain things.

praying. something i rarely do nowadays
last night, i prayed. prayed na marubdob. i didn't want to just speak to him. i wanted to listen.
minsan, in silence, you hear him. minsan naman, in your own voice, you hear him. last night, i think the message to me was, don't think about what your company or your clients can do for you. think about what you can contribute to them. contribution. para iwas bitter, para iwas resentment tuwing may deadline o demands, ito ang iisipin ko. i should be grateful if i have something significant to contribute. kasi pag wala akong significant contribution... hindi ako kailangan. hindi ako uutusan, hindi ako kukulitin, hindi ako papansin.

and as scriptcon before, my entire stint had been all about proving to myself that my contribution was valuable. i worked hard to become a good scriptcon, dahil dito sa pilipinas, pwedeng gumawa ng pelikula ng walang scriptcon. minsan, ginagawa pa ngang PA ang scriptcon. but that's another issue.

word for the day- contribution. Are you contributing something valuable to your team? o lugi pa sila sa yo?

nagagawa nga naman ng post-deadline highs, oo.dumadaldal ang tao.
on to the next deadline.

2 more "days" to go

and i have just til tonight to finish them.

nasanay ang katawan ko na hanggang day 3 lang ang stamina. marahil ay dala ng ilang taong 3 days 

lang ang sinusulat ko. by day 3... i'm usually spent.

nakaraos naman ako ng isang buong show na day 5 ako lahat. pero yun nga lang, nanaba ako nang nanaba. 

after nun, puro weeklies. 

and now, this. hello again, daily grind. 

malayo pa ang lalakbayin. 2nd week pa lang kami. iisipin ko na lang..moolah. more weeks, more moolah. 

kailangan kolang talaga ng masasandalan. in any shape, specie or form. hindi ko alam kung aabot ang gasolina hanggang sa kadulo-dulohan nang hindi nagsasuffer ang ganda.

lord, help achieve this. with your guidance, and kahit isang droplet lang ng inyong brilliance (kahitt nga isang molecule lang), mairaraos ko to. nang maganda. bilis at ganda, lord. please. give me. at least until the final week, many calendar days from now.

ACHIEVE NATIN 'TO! WITH GOD'S  GRACE!