Friday, May 04, 2018

These Days

These days, I... 
...drink alone more often. To forget? To be happy? To escape whatever rut I'm in? 
...am finding myself enjoying conversations with my 7-year-old more and more
...am afraid of even going on that weighing scale. 
...wish to get away more often. 
...think of Hugh less and less. (aww. sad. not that I don't like him anymore, though-- it's just that there are other things on my mind)
...work most of the time, as usual
...secretly wish na mabigyan ako ng mahaba-habang bakasyon. well that's not a secret. but I secretly wish for other things that I dare not even say aloud or write about. because there's dissonance in me
... (okay I'll say it) fantasize about resigning from my job more and more often
... (say it again) secretly desire na matapos na yung project.. pero alam ko HINDI KO DAPAT IWISH YUN
...demoralized, tired. going through the motions. un-driven
...long for the beach
...worried about finances (bills, investments. #adulting
...have still not gotten over the fact that I am actually 38 years old. WOW.  nalalagas ang mga taon nang di natin namamalayan.


No comments: