thank god for this day.
other than a meeting in the afternoon, i have the rest of the morning all to myself. of course there's still a lot to review and prepare for tomorrow's shoot, but i don't feel like getting anything done just yet in the next two hours. chill muna ako. nami-miss ko nang tumambay sa mga virtual hangouts ko!
favorite kong hangout ang fwendster. hindi ko ma-explain kung bakit naa-addict ako sa pagpo-post ng bulletin surveys at self-directed Q&As. kahit gano pa ko kapagod, as long as i have access to the internet, magpopost at magpopost pa rin ako sa bulletin board. di ko naman masabing nagpapansin lang ako (kanino naman? kay direk? hmm, pwede. hehe). catharsis. kahit papano, mailabas ang kung anumang gumugulo sa utak ko, kahit sa mga alang-wentang tanong lang.
instrumental din ang fwendster sa spying-and-stalking habits ko. hahaha. kung hindi lang naka-"anonymous" mode ang viewing settings ko, malamang puro ako ang lalabas na nag-view ng profiles ng mga personaheng trip na trip kong subaybayan ang buhay. minsan sa fwendster ko na rin lang nalalaman na nag-asawa/nagka-baby/single na pala uli/nag-out na pala ang mga kaibigan kong wala na kong contact sa real world.
recently natawa ko sa isa sa mga fwnedster contacts ko na nag-update ng civil status profile nya. "married" na daw sya. hahaha! aba, kelan pa nangyari yon? di ba kasama lang kita kahapon? kung sabagay, ako nga minsan napapag-tripan kong gawing "in a relationship" ang status ko kahit di naman totoo. pero natatawa talaga ko sa kaibigan kong to, for reasons na mahirap ipaliwanag.
hahahay. ang sarap maging masaya!
meeting-meetingan na naman mamaya for Da Pwamis. so many memories from this project. maybe i'll write them here tonight. for now, though, i really pray that this would turn out to be a blossomin' beautiful day.
:-)
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
a happy kind of trauma
January 10, 2007.
windang ako. sa current life, as i know it. dahil sa isang project na pinapaspas naming tapusin in time for a nearing playdate. dahil ambilis ng mga pangyayari araw-araw. sobrang bilis, wala ka nang time matulog. one week ago nasa tagaytay kami. five days, walang uwian. twentyone hours of labor everyday, three hours of sleep in between. twentyfour hours ago nasa boso-boso (na naman!) kami, at first time nangyari sa tanang career ko as film laborer na halos di ko na maidilat ang mga mata ko sa sobrang antok, keber na kung nagro-roll ang camera. toxic! fantastic!
in a matter of ten hours fly naman kami to bolinao, pangasinan. ehe. kumusta naman yon? hindi pa nga ko nakaka-recover sa sunod-sunod na araw ng puyatan. di ako nagrereklamo, masaya naman e. kaso nakakapagod talaga. babawiin mo na lang sa pagkain. at yosi. at chika with your fellow slaves-of-the-mainstream. masaya talaga pag hindi sagabal ang pagod at antok.
malungkot ako dahil pagbalik ko galing tagaytay, nawawala ang pusa kong si monique. siguro akala nya hindi na ko nakatira sa amin, dahil hindi na nya ko nakikita, at naghanap na sya ng ibang amo. huhu. nasa tabi-tabi lang siguro yon pero wala kong time karirin ang paghahanap sa kanya. bahala na kung bumalik sya. kung babalik sya, ibig sabihin, para sa kin sya talaga.
monique ko, bumalik ka na. miss ka na ni mommy. :-P
12 noon na. kissing the world goodnight in time for the 10pm pullout tonight. excited ako sa beach location sa bolinao, pero hindi ako excited sa ngaragan at puyatang magaganap in the next seven days. pero ok na rin yon, i don't mind. kung beach ba naman ang magiging workplace mo, aba eh bring it on. mahaba nga lang masyado ang 7 days, but that's worth everything i'll have to sacrifice in favor of the adventure.
so help us god!
January 20, 2005.
Nakabalik na ko galing Bolinao. Actually, tatlong probinsya ang dinayo namin sa loob ng limang araw. From Pangasinan to Zambales to Tagaytay, same old sagaran shoot from sunrise to sunrise the next day. Kung nakakawindang ang 5-day Tagaytay shoot, hindi ko na alam ang maitatawag dito. May mga araw na natutulog na lang kami sa biyahe papunta sa next location at nakikiligo na lang sa kung saan.
Pero masaya. Marami akong maaalala. Marami akong dadalhing memories from this shoot. Like the turquoise-water beaches of Bolinao. The view of Pangasinan from a 300-feet lighthouse. Being alone in that same lighthouse with Richard Gutierrez (haha! proud ako). Being alone in a rowing rubber boat with Richard Gutierrez (yes, proud pa rin ako--nagpa-picture pa ko, hehe). The long journeys from one province to another in the van-that-became-our-mobile-bunk. Cinematographer Miss Marissa, Assistant Director Linnet, Gaffer Kuya Rico, 1st AC Kuya Monching, and the happy "clique" that we became. The jokes, the jibes, and how being together in the same mobile setup for five days made us closer friends.
Hindi pa kami tapos. May isang natitirang araw pa. Low-batt pa rin ako pero kailangan pa ring gumo-go-go. Nakabalik na ko sa Manila pero parang may lag pa rin ang utak ko. Ewan. Is there such a thing as a happy kind of trauma? Siguro eto na yon.
Hay. Nawawala pa rin ang pusa kong si Monique. Marami pang dapat lagariin sa mga naiwang projects. Tunog reklamo, alam ko, pero happy ako sa ganitong pacing ng buhay. Thank you Lord. Fast intense times usually leave the best memories.
Sige pa, bring it on! :-D
windang ako. sa current life, as i know it. dahil sa isang project na pinapaspas naming tapusin in time for a nearing playdate. dahil ambilis ng mga pangyayari araw-araw. sobrang bilis, wala ka nang time matulog. one week ago nasa tagaytay kami. five days, walang uwian. twentyone hours of labor everyday, three hours of sleep in between. twentyfour hours ago nasa boso-boso (na naman!) kami, at first time nangyari sa tanang career ko as film laborer na halos di ko na maidilat ang mga mata ko sa sobrang antok, keber na kung nagro-roll ang camera. toxic! fantastic!
in a matter of ten hours fly naman kami to bolinao, pangasinan. ehe. kumusta naman yon? hindi pa nga ko nakaka-recover sa sunod-sunod na araw ng puyatan. di ako nagrereklamo, masaya naman e. kaso nakakapagod talaga. babawiin mo na lang sa pagkain. at yosi. at chika with your fellow slaves-of-the-mainstream. masaya talaga pag hindi sagabal ang pagod at antok.
malungkot ako dahil pagbalik ko galing tagaytay, nawawala ang pusa kong si monique. siguro akala nya hindi na ko nakatira sa amin, dahil hindi na nya ko nakikita, at naghanap na sya ng ibang amo. huhu. nasa tabi-tabi lang siguro yon pero wala kong time karirin ang paghahanap sa kanya. bahala na kung bumalik sya. kung babalik sya, ibig sabihin, para sa kin sya talaga.
monique ko, bumalik ka na. miss ka na ni mommy. :-P
12 noon na. kissing the world goodnight in time for the 10pm pullout tonight. excited ako sa beach location sa bolinao, pero hindi ako excited sa ngaragan at puyatang magaganap in the next seven days. pero ok na rin yon, i don't mind. kung beach ba naman ang magiging workplace mo, aba eh bring it on. mahaba nga lang masyado ang 7 days, but that's worth everything i'll have to sacrifice in favor of the adventure.
so help us god!
January 20, 2005.
Nakabalik na ko galing Bolinao. Actually, tatlong probinsya ang dinayo namin sa loob ng limang araw. From Pangasinan to Zambales to Tagaytay, same old sagaran shoot from sunrise to sunrise the next day. Kung nakakawindang ang 5-day Tagaytay shoot, hindi ko na alam ang maitatawag dito. May mga araw na natutulog na lang kami sa biyahe papunta sa next location at nakikiligo na lang sa kung saan.
Pero masaya. Marami akong maaalala. Marami akong dadalhing memories from this shoot. Like the turquoise-water beaches of Bolinao. The view of Pangasinan from a 300-feet lighthouse. Being alone in that same lighthouse with Richard Gutierrez (haha! proud ako). Being alone in a rowing rubber boat with Richard Gutierrez (yes, proud pa rin ako--nagpa-picture pa ko, hehe). The long journeys from one province to another in the van-that-became-our-mobile-bunk. Cinematographer Miss Marissa, Assistant Director Linnet, Gaffer Kuya Rico, 1st AC Kuya Monching, and the happy "clique" that we became. The jokes, the jibes, and how being together in the same mobile setup for five days made us closer friends.
Hindi pa kami tapos. May isang natitirang araw pa. Low-batt pa rin ako pero kailangan pa ring gumo-go-go. Nakabalik na ko sa Manila pero parang may lag pa rin ang utak ko. Ewan. Is there such a thing as a happy kind of trauma? Siguro eto na yon.
Hay. Nawawala pa rin ang pusa kong si Monique. Marami pang dapat lagariin sa mga naiwang projects. Tunog reklamo, alam ko, pero happy ako sa ganitong pacing ng buhay. Thank you Lord. Fast intense times usually leave the best memories.
Sige pa, bring it on! :-D
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
my 2006 (i love!)
balak ko pa naman sanang karirin ang personal yearender review ko, kaso wala nang oras. i'm leaving for work tomorrow and will be shooting out of town in the next five days. hay. still hungup over the holidays. but i really thank the good lord, because i would rather be busy Out There than be anything, anywhere else.
i love my job. i love this field. i love my cats. i love my life. i love, i love!
quickly, here are the highlights of my two-oh-oh-six:
January. filming and editing "G33-G33 at W@terin@". Joining Da Haus as segment producer at the tailend of the month.
February, March. For several weeks i was Haus-bound. Made the shift from segment produ to story ed. Hectic, toxic, emotionally taxing. One of the most, if not the most intense/intensive experiences i have had this year.
April. Da Haus arrest came to an end. I bailed (happily!) in favor of a film project that was to take me to Vietnam. Left Da Haus a free spirit, but left with a few emotional attachments there as well. Aww. Frog Princess. you will always be my human version of a Monique. for life na siguro yan.
'Twas also in April when the Vietnam adventure began. My first time in two years (first one had been to France in '04) to be in a foreign country. Spent my birthday away from the motherland for the very first time, battling a bad case of homesickness the entire time. Missed everyone, and everything connected to home.
May. Shoots went on for "Saig0n Ecl1pse", Vietnam's equally-glossy answer to our local average Star Cinema movie. Homesick pa rin. The internet and the cable TV were my only links to home. Despite my preoccupation with home, though, my Vietnam stay managed to be a memorable experience--the people, the bossings, the shoots all over Saigon, the friends i made during my seven-week stay.
June. It was time to go home sweet home. One of the most memorable moments of 2006 was my plane ride home. I was the happiest girl on that side of Saigon. The clouds never looked so beautiful as they glided past the wings of our plane, the sky was never bluer, and the bird-s eye view of Manila was never as enchanting as I could ever imagine it to be. I knew where my heart was, and has always been. Probably literally. Haha!
It was also in June when "Txt", my first movie project after Saigon, began shooting. The "Dream Team" was born!
July. I'm not sure, but I think this was the month when my labor of love for 2006, "G33 at W@terina", premiered at the C1nemalaya Independent Film Festival as finalist in the short film category. it didn't win, but we were happy enough that people liked our film. Hectic, hectic days as I juggled attending to the needs of our film with "Txt" and a music video shoot for Y@smien Kurd1. hay. i love directing. i want to direct more often.
August. "Txt" wrapped up. My month off work. Broke my heart over the most pathetic person to ever cross my path in recent years. Haha. Maybe I'll give him a prize for being Most Best-Be-Forgotten person of the year.
September, October. Thank God for "saviors". I finally found one to haul me out of my depression (haha! ampangit no? manggamit ba ng tao). New film project, new director. As far as I'm concerned, marami akong titles na pwedeng ibigay sa kanya: My Personal Stalwart of the Year, Favorite New Acquaintance of the Year. pero Savior of the Year I would rather give to someone else--although second runner up itong si Direk. Hay Direk! next to Frog Princess, you're my--how could I have forgotten this title?!--Favorite Bading of the Year. hahahaha peace!
'Twas also on this month when I started writing and preprod work (as writer/director) on a blocktimer TV show, which is turning out to be my bread-and-butter now.
November. With the landslide movie wrapped up, a new horror movie began shooting: "Sh@ke, R@ttle, and R0ll 8". 2006 is the year that has seen me work on the most movie shoots, ever. Sana ma-top pa yan ng 2007. Pray, pray wish wish!
Juggled the "Sh@ke..." shoot with more writing and preprod work for the TV show. By last week of November the horror movie wrapped up, and the heavens dropped a little yummy breadcrumb on my lap--was offered another "remnant" job racket for an indie film that was to shoot in Baguio.
From the just-packed-up "Sh@ke.." set I went straight to Baguio for a three-day shoot that was to become my most memorable 3-day shooting experience in recent years (eh kasi, nun lang ako nakapagshoot ng isang sex scene involving a threesome...at walang plaster-plaster!). At packup I left Baguio late at night and headed straight to Cavite for the TV show's pilot shoot. Huwaw. I loved the whirlwind!
Needless to say, wala akong social life. Kaya tina-try ko na ring pagsabayin ang pakikipag-"sosyalan" sa trabaho--twas the first time ever that I experienced directing a live fashion show-cum-bikini open in happy, sunny Subic. Wonderful first-time. Haggard sa simula dahil kulang sa oras pero na-pulloff naman namin, thank God. and i got to mingle with young beautiful models for a night. feeling mowdel na rin ako kahit wala sa itsura. ehe!
It was also on this month when "G33-G33 at W@terina" was screened out of competition at the C1nemanila. hindi ko napuntahan ang one-night-only screening dahil pumapaspas na ko papuntang Baguio nung mga panahong yon. pero sabi naman ng co-parent kong si Dennis, happy naman ang audience na nanood. hay, anak ko. kelan ka kaya masusundan uli?
December. Another indie film in preprod stage. Took a leap and was offered an Assistant Director (AD) position. Excited ako, kasi gusto ko na talagang mag-AD. Postproduction remnants (i.e. dubbing) for the movie projects of the past two months were in order. Dumating ang isang matinding bagyo. Crush ko pa rin si Direk. Napanood ko ang "Dr1m Nyt" ng PD@ sa Araneta (a memorable "revisiting" of a sort). Na-haggard at nadisillusion ako sa magulong sistema ng indie film na pini-preprod namin.
Indie idealist kasi ako. kung i-indie ako, gagawin ko yon dahil sa love ko sa paggawa ng pelikula. kahit maliit ang pera. pero nadisappoint ako somewhat. hay. ganyan talaga. i'm glad i met a lot of new people this year, though, and a number of those people came from the "indie" group that contracted me for the Baguio shoot. thankful ako na na-meet ko sila, kahit medyo magulo sila. hehe.
Ang gulo-gulo pa rin, too much labor na nawe-waste lang, hanggang sa dumating ang job offer from a mainstream film outfit. the direk of "txt" was making a romance film starring @ngel l0csin and rich@rd gutierrez, and i couldn't say no to him. at all. mahal ko ang grupong to, dahil part sila ng "Dream Team" from our "Txt" days. so, despite the possible schedule conflict with the indie film project, i jumped in. it turned out to be a good decision kasi hanggang ngayon, hindi pa nagshu-shoot ang indie film. haha. ngayon, ang Valentine movie nina @ngel at R1chard ang kumakain ng mga araw ko.
Editing stage na ang TV show. nagka-social life na rin ako kahit papano, after many months of being out of the circulation. crush ko pa rin si Direk, pero hanggang don na lang yon (ang cute nya with the new haircut! my ideal!). na-meet ko na ang Ideal Cat ko. nagtapos ang taon nang nakangiti ako. and for the first time, i was able to keep a secret to myself.
Well, almost. haha.
Hay. masarap mabuhay! Salamat, lord, sa 2006! sana magiging mas masarap pa ang mabuhay ngayong 2007. i really pray and wish for that. :-)
sa ngayon, kelangan ko nang matulog. alas-5 ang calltime namin for the Valentine movie shoot. Antipolo, tapos tagaytay. will be gone for five days. ang sarap talagang mabuhay! woohoo! i hope 2007 will be an even better year for all of us!
i love my job. i love this field. i love my cats. i love my life. i love, i love!
quickly, here are the highlights of my two-oh-oh-six:
January. filming and editing "G33-G33 at W@terin@". Joining Da Haus as segment producer at the tailend of the month.
February, March. For several weeks i was Haus-bound. Made the shift from segment produ to story ed. Hectic, toxic, emotionally taxing. One of the most, if not the most intense/intensive experiences i have had this year.
April. Da Haus arrest came to an end. I bailed (happily!) in favor of a film project that was to take me to Vietnam. Left Da Haus a free spirit, but left with a few emotional attachments there as well. Aww. Frog Princess. you will always be my human version of a Monique. for life na siguro yan.
'Twas also in April when the Vietnam adventure began. My first time in two years (first one had been to France in '04) to be in a foreign country. Spent my birthday away from the motherland for the very first time, battling a bad case of homesickness the entire time. Missed everyone, and everything connected to home.
May. Shoots went on for "Saig0n Ecl1pse", Vietnam's equally-glossy answer to our local average Star Cinema movie. Homesick pa rin. The internet and the cable TV were my only links to home. Despite my preoccupation with home, though, my Vietnam stay managed to be a memorable experience--the people, the bossings, the shoots all over Saigon, the friends i made during my seven-week stay.
June. It was time to go home sweet home. One of the most memorable moments of 2006 was my plane ride home. I was the happiest girl on that side of Saigon. The clouds never looked so beautiful as they glided past the wings of our plane, the sky was never bluer, and the bird-s eye view of Manila was never as enchanting as I could ever imagine it to be. I knew where my heart was, and has always been. Probably literally. Haha!
It was also in June when "Txt", my first movie project after Saigon, began shooting. The "Dream Team" was born!
July. I'm not sure, but I think this was the month when my labor of love for 2006, "G33 at W@terina", premiered at the C1nemalaya Independent Film Festival as finalist in the short film category. it didn't win, but we were happy enough that people liked our film. Hectic, hectic days as I juggled attending to the needs of our film with "Txt" and a music video shoot for Y@smien Kurd1. hay. i love directing. i want to direct more often.
August. "Txt" wrapped up. My month off work. Broke my heart over the most pathetic person to ever cross my path in recent years. Haha. Maybe I'll give him a prize for being Most Best-Be-Forgotten person of the year.
September, October. Thank God for "saviors". I finally found one to haul me out of my depression (haha! ampangit no? manggamit ba ng tao). New film project, new director. As far as I'm concerned, marami akong titles na pwedeng ibigay sa kanya: My Personal Stalwart of the Year, Favorite New Acquaintance of the Year. pero Savior of the Year I would rather give to someone else--although second runner up itong si Direk. Hay Direk! next to Frog Princess, you're my--how could I have forgotten this title?!--Favorite Bading of the Year. hahahaha peace!
'Twas also on this month when I started writing and preprod work (as writer/director) on a blocktimer TV show, which is turning out to be my bread-and-butter now.
November. With the landslide movie wrapped up, a new horror movie began shooting: "Sh@ke, R@ttle, and R0ll 8". 2006 is the year that has seen me work on the most movie shoots, ever. Sana ma-top pa yan ng 2007. Pray, pray wish wish!
Juggled the "Sh@ke..." shoot with more writing and preprod work for the TV show. By last week of November the horror movie wrapped up, and the heavens dropped a little yummy breadcrumb on my lap--was offered another "remnant" job racket for an indie film that was to shoot in Baguio.
From the just-packed-up "Sh@ke.." set I went straight to Baguio for a three-day shoot that was to become my most memorable 3-day shooting experience in recent years (eh kasi, nun lang ako nakapagshoot ng isang sex scene involving a threesome...at walang plaster-plaster!). At packup I left Baguio late at night and headed straight to Cavite for the TV show's pilot shoot. Huwaw. I loved the whirlwind!
Needless to say, wala akong social life. Kaya tina-try ko na ring pagsabayin ang pakikipag-"sosyalan" sa trabaho--twas the first time ever that I experienced directing a live fashion show-cum-bikini open in happy, sunny Subic. Wonderful first-time. Haggard sa simula dahil kulang sa oras pero na-pulloff naman namin, thank God. and i got to mingle with young beautiful models for a night. feeling mowdel na rin ako kahit wala sa itsura. ehe!
It was also on this month when "G33-G33 at W@terina" was screened out of competition at the C1nemanila. hindi ko napuntahan ang one-night-only screening dahil pumapaspas na ko papuntang Baguio nung mga panahong yon. pero sabi naman ng co-parent kong si Dennis, happy naman ang audience na nanood. hay, anak ko. kelan ka kaya masusundan uli?
December. Another indie film in preprod stage. Took a leap and was offered an Assistant Director (AD) position. Excited ako, kasi gusto ko na talagang mag-AD. Postproduction remnants (i.e. dubbing) for the movie projects of the past two months were in order. Dumating ang isang matinding bagyo. Crush ko pa rin si Direk. Napanood ko ang "Dr1m Nyt" ng PD@ sa Araneta (a memorable "revisiting" of a sort). Na-haggard at nadisillusion ako sa magulong sistema ng indie film na pini-preprod namin.
Indie idealist kasi ako. kung i-indie ako, gagawin ko yon dahil sa love ko sa paggawa ng pelikula. kahit maliit ang pera. pero nadisappoint ako somewhat. hay. ganyan talaga. i'm glad i met a lot of new people this year, though, and a number of those people came from the "indie" group that contracted me for the Baguio shoot. thankful ako na na-meet ko sila, kahit medyo magulo sila. hehe.
Ang gulo-gulo pa rin, too much labor na nawe-waste lang, hanggang sa dumating ang job offer from a mainstream film outfit. the direk of "txt" was making a romance film starring @ngel l0csin and rich@rd gutierrez, and i couldn't say no to him. at all. mahal ko ang grupong to, dahil part sila ng "Dream Team" from our "Txt" days. so, despite the possible schedule conflict with the indie film project, i jumped in. it turned out to be a good decision kasi hanggang ngayon, hindi pa nagshu-shoot ang indie film. haha. ngayon, ang Valentine movie nina @ngel at R1chard ang kumakain ng mga araw ko.
Editing stage na ang TV show. nagka-social life na rin ako kahit papano, after many months of being out of the circulation. crush ko pa rin si Direk, pero hanggang don na lang yon (ang cute nya with the new haircut! my ideal!). na-meet ko na ang Ideal Cat ko. nagtapos ang taon nang nakangiti ako. and for the first time, i was able to keep a secret to myself.
Well, almost. haha.
Hay. masarap mabuhay! Salamat, lord, sa 2006! sana magiging mas masarap pa ang mabuhay ngayong 2007. i really pray and wish for that. :-)
sa ngayon, kelangan ko nang matulog. alas-5 ang calltime namin for the Valentine movie shoot. Antipolo, tapos tagaytay. will be gone for five days. ang sarap talagang mabuhay! woohoo! i hope 2007 will be an even better year for all of us!
Monday, January 01, 2007
a tale of two cats on the brink of a new year
9 pm.
3 hours na lang, 2007 na. if it weren’t for the past twenty-four hours I would’ve normally been on look back/look forward mode. Pero ngayon, nakatuon lang ang isip ko sa nangyari kahapon at mangyayari ngayong gabi. Ang chaka, kasi para san pa ang sandamukal ng “Happy New Year” text messages na sinend ko sa lahat ng pangalan sa phone directory ko kung saslaubungin ko ang bagong taon nang lugmok.
ah! i don’t like this feeling. precisely why I’ve always tried playing safe. ayokong magsimula ang bagong taon nang bad trip!
so I figured that one way to get me back into blithe spirits would be to recall my 2006. masaya kasi ang 2006 ko, even better than my 2005. my ideal kasi is that every year that comes would turn out better than the year came before it. kaya sobrang pasasalamat ko ke Lord na naging memorable at adventurous ang taong magpapaalam na.
11 pm.
happy na ko. hindi ko pa nasusulat ang yearly personal Yearender review ko but i'm out of the rut already. thanks to external factors which are not within my control and i'm bothered, because i hate it when i have to rely on external factors to make myself happy. i hate it when i'm vulnerable to other people.
even so. isa--o dalawa--sa mga rason kung bakit happy ako ay dahil nag-reply sina Frog Princess at Direk sa Happy New year text msgs ko. haha!
1 am.
2007 na! the household celebration was predictably the same, pero masaya pa rin ako because my father is with us this year (he works abroad kasi).
Masaya din ako kasi for the first time at the dawn of a new year (haha! cliche), may malaking pagbabago sa buhay ko. Pero sa ibang araw ko na lang ikukuwento yon, hilaw pa sa isip ko ang mga pangyayari (di ba nga, delayed ang appreciation ko ng mga bagay-bagay). For now, before I do my annual looking back/looking forward thingie, let me tell you about my current relationship with my two cats, Monique and Aleli.
Nakuwento ko na dito sina Monique at Aleli. Monique is my beautiful black cat. Mahal na mahal na mahal ko ang alaga kong to. Ideal ko sya! Bago dumating si Monique sa buhay ko, alaga ko na si Aleli. Si Aleli, simple lang. typical “pusakal”, ika nga ng kaibigan kong si Monjcity. Malayo sa ideal cat ko si Aleli pero dahil sya lang ang nag-iisang pusa noon sa bahay, special sya. Until Monique came along.
Nang dumating si Monique, yun nga, Aleli was inadvertently relegated to the background. Pero alaga ko pa rin sya. Mahal ko pa rin. Iba nga lang ang lebel ng pagmamahal na binibigay ko kay Monique. Habang tumtagal, though, nagiging malinaw sa kin ang difference sa ugali ng dalawa. Gusto ko ang aloofness at laidback grace ni Monique, pero mas gusto ko ang pagiging malambing ni Aleli. Pag niyayakap ko sya o kalong ko sya, hindi sya umiiwas tulad ni Monique. She even cuddles up to me when she feels like it. Naiintindihan ko naman ang temperament ni Monique and at hindi nabawasan ang pagiging special nya sa mga mata ko, pero masarap din pala pag nararamdaman mong appreciated at reciprocated ang affection mo. to a certain extent.
Na-guilty tuloy ako sa ilang linggo ring pagiging unfair “mommy” ko kay Aleli. Hindi naman nya kasalanan na hindi sya ang Ideal Cat ko. Kaya ginawa kong isa sa mga (unofficial, off-the-top-off-my-head) New Year’s resolutions ko ang pagbigay ng equal treatment sa dalawa kong pusa. Just because nahanap ko na ang Ideal Cat ko in flesh-and-blood doesn’t mean hindi na ko pwedeng magmahal ng iba. Minsan kasi, yung mga pusang katulad ni Aleli, sila pa yung makakapagbigay ng appreciation at affection na hindi maibibigay ng mga pusang katulad ni Monique. In an imperfect world, the ones you fervently love to a fault don’t always give you the same amount of love that you give them, and the ones whom you may not love as much will give you more love than you would expect of them. At least. May hustisya pa rin, di ba?
Hay. i'll do my Yearender next time, maybe tomorrow. for the meantime, Happy New Year to you, passing reader!
3 hours na lang, 2007 na. if it weren’t for the past twenty-four hours I would’ve normally been on look back/look forward mode. Pero ngayon, nakatuon lang ang isip ko sa nangyari kahapon at mangyayari ngayong gabi. Ang chaka, kasi para san pa ang sandamukal ng “Happy New Year” text messages na sinend ko sa lahat ng pangalan sa phone directory ko kung saslaubungin ko ang bagong taon nang lugmok.
ah! i don’t like this feeling. precisely why I’ve always tried playing safe. ayokong magsimula ang bagong taon nang bad trip!
so I figured that one way to get me back into blithe spirits would be to recall my 2006. masaya kasi ang 2006 ko, even better than my 2005. my ideal kasi is that every year that comes would turn out better than the year came before it. kaya sobrang pasasalamat ko ke Lord na naging memorable at adventurous ang taong magpapaalam na.
11 pm.
happy na ko. hindi ko pa nasusulat ang yearly personal Yearender review ko but i'm out of the rut already. thanks to external factors which are not within my control and i'm bothered, because i hate it when i have to rely on external factors to make myself happy. i hate it when i'm vulnerable to other people.
even so. isa--o dalawa--sa mga rason kung bakit happy ako ay dahil nag-reply sina Frog Princess at Direk sa Happy New year text msgs ko. haha!
1 am.
2007 na! the household celebration was predictably the same, pero masaya pa rin ako because my father is with us this year (he works abroad kasi).
Masaya din ako kasi for the first time at the dawn of a new year (haha! cliche), may malaking pagbabago sa buhay ko. Pero sa ibang araw ko na lang ikukuwento yon, hilaw pa sa isip ko ang mga pangyayari (di ba nga, delayed ang appreciation ko ng mga bagay-bagay). For now, before I do my annual looking back/looking forward thingie, let me tell you about my current relationship with my two cats, Monique and Aleli.
Nakuwento ko na dito sina Monique at Aleli. Monique is my beautiful black cat. Mahal na mahal na mahal ko ang alaga kong to. Ideal ko sya! Bago dumating si Monique sa buhay ko, alaga ko na si Aleli. Si Aleli, simple lang. typical “pusakal”, ika nga ng kaibigan kong si Monjcity. Malayo sa ideal cat ko si Aleli pero dahil sya lang ang nag-iisang pusa noon sa bahay, special sya. Until Monique came along.
Nang dumating si Monique, yun nga, Aleli was inadvertently relegated to the background. Pero alaga ko pa rin sya. Mahal ko pa rin. Iba nga lang ang lebel ng pagmamahal na binibigay ko kay Monique. Habang tumtagal, though, nagiging malinaw sa kin ang difference sa ugali ng dalawa. Gusto ko ang aloofness at laidback grace ni Monique, pero mas gusto ko ang pagiging malambing ni Aleli. Pag niyayakap ko sya o kalong ko sya, hindi sya umiiwas tulad ni Monique. She even cuddles up to me when she feels like it. Naiintindihan ko naman ang temperament ni Monique and at hindi nabawasan ang pagiging special nya sa mga mata ko, pero masarap din pala pag nararamdaman mong appreciated at reciprocated ang affection mo. to a certain extent.
Na-guilty tuloy ako sa ilang linggo ring pagiging unfair “mommy” ko kay Aleli. Hindi naman nya kasalanan na hindi sya ang Ideal Cat ko. Kaya ginawa kong isa sa mga (unofficial, off-the-top-off-my-head) New Year’s resolutions ko ang pagbigay ng equal treatment sa dalawa kong pusa. Just because nahanap ko na ang Ideal Cat ko in flesh-and-blood doesn’t mean hindi na ko pwedeng magmahal ng iba. Minsan kasi, yung mga pusang katulad ni Aleli, sila pa yung makakapagbigay ng appreciation at affection na hindi maibibigay ng mga pusang katulad ni Monique. In an imperfect world, the ones you fervently love to a fault don’t always give you the same amount of love that you give them, and the ones whom you may not love as much will give you more love than you would expect of them. At least. May hustisya pa rin, di ba?
Hay. i'll do my Yearender next time, maybe tomorrow. for the meantime, Happy New Year to you, passing reader!
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