thorns and feathers

week 5, in. late again. :-(

another thorn pulled out. another feather on this slowpoke's cap. yes, i'm an optimist. every script week that i survive, i consider a personal achievement. kasi ngayon lang ako nakaranas maging mag-isa at solely responsible tulad nito.

hindi ko alam kung ilang feathers/thorns pa ang mahuhugot/masusulot ko. bibilis pa kaya ako? i will it. i will it. i will it. is speed of thought proportional to mental intelligence? so does this mean medyo bobo ako? haha.

focus actually. focus. discipline. yun ang nagdedelay sa akin. that feeling of discomfort, of being stuck in a difficult mental hurdle, i try to avoid as much as i can. so i candycrush muna. i eat muna. or play with my cat. or with my babygirl. or with my bigbrownosobear. or i write here.

discipline. focus. i will have it by week 6. walang choice. ikukulong na ako para masigurong hindi ma-late. i kinda like it. kasi sa totoo lang ... hindi ako makatanggi sa anak ko pag naglulupasay na sya at umiiyak ng "Mama....Mama ko..." (heartwrenching :-()   at pag nasa bahay ka, meron at meron pa ring iistorbo sa yo.

discipline. focus.  SPEED! you will be mine by week 6. MINE!

you know that feeling. one of the worst feelings when you write, and you finish something that you don't like. horrible feeling.  hindi ko alam kung anong mas horrible ang feeling, that or when you have finished something you think ain't so bad... and then feedback meeting comes, it gets bashed to pieces. yes, that hurt more. way more. it happened to me once. he broke my heart. napabili ako ng phone nang di oras, just to make me feel better.

the boss broke my heart, but repaired it again. with band aids and pins, two weeks later. he gave me this gift. i hope i can do this gift justice. til the very airing end.

another week to begin tomorrow. :-) help me lord.