in a perfect world, i'd take my time. make it as close to my version of perfect, nurture it like a mother gestating her own child.
pero ang realidad, there's no time to take. no time to waste. no time to catch "the mood" or whatever. time is gold and every minute counts, especially when the show is airing. lagi kong pantasya ang daanan ang bawat scene-to-do na parang bagyo at magsubmit on time---or much better, before deadline. pantasya ko rin ang tirahin na lang nang tirahin without careful thought or consideration, at least for the first pass. matapos lang sya, mabuo lang sya. tapos itutulog ko sya. at kinabukasan, saka ako mageedit. i can take all the time that i need, kasi if worse comes to worst at kinailangan na nila ang script, may maisasubmit akong buo at kumpleto.
yun ang pangarap ko. because i would love a day off every week, thank you very much. but slowpokes and procrastinators and comfort-seeking creatures do not deserve days off. not when they have work to do and deadlines start to overlap one another.
between passing on time with mediocre work and passing late with work that you can call passable at the very least, ano ang mas magaan sa dibdib? dahil may cm naman na nagpapasada sa scripts ko siguro mas pracitcal nga to make deadlines my foremost priority. ok na yung di masyadong bonggang output basta may makukuha naman si cm at may enough time pa makapagprepare ang lahat to shoot it.
pero iba ang pakiramdam pag nakakalusot kay cm ang trabaho mo na hindi mo ikinatutuwa. pag napapanood mo sya at nalulugmok ka dahil pakramdam mo, panira. mabigat sa dibdib. di ko gusto. someday---after three or four or five more shows probably---makukuha ko rin ang relative bilis na kailangan at ang gandang nagniningning na kinauhuhumalingan. sana, sana.
hoy. magtrabaho ka na. 3 more script days. lets friggin GOGOGOGO
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