FIVE things i hate about being a young neophyte in film production:
1. hard labor, relatively small pay.
2.early morning calltimes; late, late packups, playdate deadlines.
3. senior co-workers who power-trip and/or bully you.
4. prima-donna ARTISTAS who power-trip and/or bully you.
5. that nagging, self-stifling feeling of being a tadpole in the raging rapids...especially when you're not sure if you're doing your job right.

It's been a week since I began work on the Cebu project. My first time to work away from home, and I was miserable the first few days--pressures, jitters, homesickness...the works. Schedule was tight and demanding. We were shooting all over the province every single day. One day I was chasing goats in the meadow, another day I was toasting myself brown at the beach (and now I have this hideous tan!). It's an adventure, and not all of it is pleasant, but i wouldn't give this up for any office job in the world.

Maybe I have a temperament that does not belong to showbiz. Maybe I'm not "bakla" or extroverted enough. Maybe I take things (and myself) too seriously, so much so that I often forget to smile while i'm working. But I'm happy with my job. And in deep I know that I'm a good person. I'm happy that there are people who understand me, who know that I only have the best intentions at heart. To hell with the maldita prima donna self-important bitchy artistas of the world. I'm not there for them. I'm there for the job.

Six or seven more days to go. And then, I pray, I can go home now. The director of this project is the second director I've worked with. I've been a fan of his films ever since; my admiration has grown a notch since then. Ganito palang magtrabaho ang isang magaling na direktor. Never settles for "pwede na". Impassioned, dedicated, never runs out of energy (even during the wee hours!). Has an eye for both the big picture and the details. And an excellent gift for telling a story, as well.

The whole day today we shot a sequence at the Badian island beach. I was tired, sweaty, and tanned by the hot Cebu sun, but I liked this day--being useful out there gives me a kind of fulfillment that can't be dampened by a bad case of sunburn. I love it when I'm useful out there. I love being part of the process. There are more than five things I hate about being new in the field, but all that doesn't measure up to the one thing I love about it: I love doing it.

I miss home. I can't wait for the day when I would walk out of the plane and step on Manila soil. Haha, what a paradox!