ugly day

today, tiring day. what's new.

i hate meetings. they bore me to near-coma. especially when i don't need to be there, and yet they called me in. and when the meeting place requires me to wake up dang early and travel from one end of the metro to the other.

at least, my bloggable tidbit akong mashe-share, kahit papano. i got to be in b0ng mailto:r3vill@ house. hehe. first time ko yatang makapunta sa bahay ng isang celebrity.

first time ko ring ma-meet si b0ng r3vill@. in fairness, guwapo pala sya in person. not my type but pleasant to the eyes naman. nakita ko rin ang anak nyang si j0l0. di mo iisiping may anak na dahil totoy na totoy ang itsura. gusto ko pag nagkaanak ako mas maganda/guwapo kesa sa min ng tatay nya.

the meeting stretched on for the entire afternoon, and by the time it ended i was drained. drained from sitting and listening to discussions that don't matter a pin to my D&R as far as the project is concerned. it was just time and money and effort wasted. hay. at least na-meet ko na ang ibang members ng staff. at nakapunta pa ko sa bahay ng celebrity. hah, hay.

4 pm. time for meeting number two. now this meeting today i absolutely loathe, doubly loathe, because it required me to brave rush hour traffic and travel (again) halfway across the metro, only for naught. i'd had a bad feeling about this already. sabi kasi sa kin three days ago, kung gusto ko daw mag-AD. para kanino po? i asked. kaka balagtas, was the reply.

hindi ko masyadong kilala si kaka balagtas, dahil maliit pa yata ako nung sya ang naging mauro gia samonte ng philippine movies, pero work is work, and a job offer is a job offer. so even if my nose was twitching, i went to the supposed introductory meeting, expecting to meet kaka balagtas for the first time.

pagdating ko don, they started prattling about some unfinished movie that involved another director, and the problems that they encountered and how they wanted to "revamp" the people in the production. i got confused. teka po, anong kinalaman nyan sa project natin? di ba si kaka balagtas ang direktor?

ah, sinabi ko lang sa yo yon kasi yung iba pag nabanggit sa kanila ang pangalan ni (the name of the real director), medyo ano e...baka...

ah okay, i said, trying to laugh. ba't kelangan pang magsinungaling?

they tried explaining, but i didn't hear the excuses anymore. i wouldn't hear of it. because i barely know these people, and they're already lying to me. na-offend ako, at dapat ma-offend din si kaka balagtas, kasi ginamit ang pangalan nya nang wala syang kaalam-alam. i went there thinking that my director was this dude, tapos hindi naman pala. at ang rason nila behind it was that baka pag nalaman ko kung sino ang tunay na direktor, tanggihan ko outright?

eh putcha, di ba outright deception yon? sabihan mo ang isang bata, nene punta ka dito andito ang mommy mo, kahit ang totoo eh wala sya don, pero sinabi mo yon dahil feeling mo hindi pupunta ang bata kung hindi mo sasabihing andun ang nanay nya. eh umasa ang bata na madadatnan nya don ang nanay nya, at bumagtas pa sya ng ilang ilog para lang makapunta, only to find out na niloko lang pala sya?

hello! kesehoda kungsinopayang direktor nyo, basta sana lang maging up front at transparent tayo, basta walang linlangan, kahit wala pa syang pangalan, tatanggapin ko kung maayos naman ang usapan. that project smelled bad from the beginning, and it totally stank from the moment that i learned about that little white lie.

wala, nakakainis lang. kasi sayang ang pinangtaxi ko. sayang ang oras ko. pero naisip ko rin na ok na rin. at least sumipot ako at hindi nang-indian. at nagkaroon ako ng enough balls to turn it down. kasi usually ang hirap tumanggi sa trabaho. kahit kesyo foreigner pa ang investor nila. dahil masama talaga ang kutob ko. tapos nalaman ko pang hindi pala si kaka balagtas ang direktor. naku!

hehe. angst kung angst. minsan sa pagod na lang. minsan sa panlulumo. at pag dumarating ang mga panahong to na naiinis ako dahil sa mga downsides ng propesyong pinasukan ko, isang tao na lang ang iniisip ko. kung nasan na sya ngayon. kung kumain na ba sya. kung naiisip din ba nya ko.

takbuhan. sumbungan. hingahan ng sama ng loob. if i could only make you such. but i wouldn't do that. i wouldn't lay my baggage on you.

sana masaya ko bukas.