Tuesday, November 04, 2008

i think of something and i find myself cursing..

..aloud. involuntarily. and as soon as the foul words leave my mouth i want to hit myself. for being such a wound. snarling pus and blood, from memories that will soon fade away in the sands.

i haven't been like this in a while. that's what happens when you bottle it up inside, every single day, for two straight months.

the other day i dreamed of someone, and woke up grumpy. i was testy all day. i hated it.

two more weeks, or less, or a little bit more, i'll be over this. because life is happy. because it's over, and the memories will soon stop haunting me.

* * *

life is happy, because i can have peaceful days at home, get to sleep more, surf the net and play online games to my heart's content, have longer baths, share meals with my family morning noon and night, have longer dates with osobear, watch movies any old time i want, be a more present entity to my little girl keanna, have time to sit down and think and ponder and wonder over the state of things and this life, hope and pray for brighter tomorrows.

life these days is happy, much much happier than two weeks ago. i should be thankful, and shouldn't let ugly ghosts from the recent past ruin it for me.

pero last ko na 'to.
p******a talaga!

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