reality doesn't only bite.

it sucks. sometimes.
lately, often. some aspects of it.
still, i thank god for other aspects that neither suck nor bite in the figurative sense.

***

i really should imitate a friend.
i should live less in reality and daydream more. for all i know, it could save me from insomnia.

***

without dreams, like is reduced to a mere physical existence. a pseudoexistence.
which i thought my life had been, three years ago. man!
that was nuthin.
at least i knew what i wanted and didn't have to think much of anything else besides getting it.

less reality, more dreams. that's what i need.

***

i used to do some of that in high school. to escape from chemical formulas and sines/cosines/tangents. right there, in class, and the teachers would only probably see that blank look in my eyes. i was always criticized for being "lutang" then. parang wala sa sarili. siguro nga mas masarap talagang mawala sa sarili at malunod sa mga masasayang alternate scenarios. di pa ko marunong magyosi non kaya daydreaming na lang ang coping mechanism ko.

***

i really want to sleep now. di mo mababawi ang tulog mo sa gabi kahit matulog ka buong araw. it still shows in your skin and your eyes. hah, vain. i realized na wala akong ibang bagay na mawi-wish sa pasko kundi mga bagay na hindi ko magagawang hilingin sa ibang tao, at mga bagay na hindi maibabalot sa christmas wrapper para ibigay ng ibang tao sa kin.