and we're back on the express lane.
the ice cream parlor.
the marathons and the vigils.
and a few more new adventures to boot.
i know i'll remember this more vividly than most of my other projects. the work alone is unique from anything else i've ever done.
headache. work started at 8 pm last night and stretched on til 2 pm today. and so i slept the entire afternoon. if there's anything important that i learned about Day One it's the fact that the work in the Control Room is only the start. the real work begins when you sit at the pre-editing chair and attempt to piece together a story from what the 28 cameras have shot. and that's the pulse point where the blood would spurt out, if i don't plan ahead.
THE STORY. WHAT IT IS. WHERE IT IS.
everything that I do should serve that higher purpose.
so help me God.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
it's a voyeur's life from here on
life's gonna change a little drastically in the next several weeks.
i hope i would be able to adapt, adjust, and stabilize in the soonest time possible.
last night wasn't so bad. the grand welcome party flowed on smoothly. i was taken by surprise when i was told that i was going to have to stay up all night to meet an early morning script deadline. owkay. i hadn't seen that comin.
work life's lighter if you don't nurture any illusions about tv being an art of a sort. wag mo nang karirin. deadlines matter over notions of "excellence", and "perfection", dear beeyatch, is nothing but an idealist's crazy dream in this field. when you meet a deadline, you finish half the work. basta presentable, basta pasado, kung may time ka pang karirin e di go, pero don't EVER, EVER compromise the deadline over your own karirista inclinations.
isasalang na ko tonight. i'm scared, but i'm hopeful.
last night at the welcome party i was three feet away from sam milby.the first time i'd ever been that close. whew. shempre mega-text ako sa nanay ko, "i'm three feet away from sam milby!" crush ko sya.
hay. my life. an open book. i wish i could be a lot more...enigmatic. somehow it bothers me when people get third-hand information about me. i would rather that they would hear it from me, at least they'd hear MY version.
it bothers me, but it's okay. i have more important things to bother myself about.
it's crunch time. i do pray to god that my learning faculties will serve me right. somehow
i hope i would be able to adapt, adjust, and stabilize in the soonest time possible.
last night wasn't so bad. the grand welcome party flowed on smoothly. i was taken by surprise when i was told that i was going to have to stay up all night to meet an early morning script deadline. owkay. i hadn't seen that comin.
work life's lighter if you don't nurture any illusions about tv being an art of a sort. wag mo nang karirin. deadlines matter over notions of "excellence", and "perfection", dear beeyatch, is nothing but an idealist's crazy dream in this field. when you meet a deadline, you finish half the work. basta presentable, basta pasado, kung may time ka pang karirin e di go, pero don't EVER, EVER compromise the deadline over your own karirista inclinations.
isasalang na ko tonight. i'm scared, but i'm hopeful.
last night at the welcome party i was three feet away from sam milby.the first time i'd ever been that close. whew. shempre mega-text ako sa nanay ko, "i'm three feet away from sam milby!" crush ko sya.
hay. my life. an open book. i wish i could be a lot more...enigmatic. somehow it bothers me when people get third-hand information about me. i would rather that they would hear it from me, at least they'd hear MY version.
it bothers me, but it's okay. i have more important things to bother myself about.
it's crunch time. i do pray to god that my learning faculties will serve me right. somehow
Saturday, February 04, 2006
sunset at baywalk and a hodge podge of thoughts
Baywalk at sunset. Saw that again yesterday. If I didn't have stuff to do back at Da Haus I would have hung out a li'l bit more...but alas, I was destined for Friday rush-hour traffic instead.
Fear, in this case, is a healthy emotion. It drives you, keeps you on your toes. And makes you wanna wrap up things much, much faster.
I went home at 11 pm last night. That was early, for a change, considering the past three days. It felt like 7 pm.
I was in blithe spirits.
Hay. It does that to ya, doesn't it. Like some invisible glow, emanating out of you. Kahit pagod ka, kahit puyat ka, kahit marami ka pang gagawin at marami ka pa ring iniisip. There will always be time and space for the irrational and emotional. PathetiK (with a malutong na "K" sa dulo!), but somehow it helps. Incidental and peripheral, which makes it healthy.
At this point, it's still healthy, and it's wiser to keep it healthy. If I know what's good for me.
Fear, in this case, is a healthy emotion. It drives you, keeps you on your toes. And makes you wanna wrap up things much, much faster.
I went home at 11 pm last night. That was early, for a change, considering the past three days. It felt like 7 pm.
I was in blithe spirits.
Hay. It does that to ya, doesn't it. Like some invisible glow, emanating out of you. Kahit pagod ka, kahit puyat ka, kahit marami ka pang gagawin at marami ka pa ring iniisip. There will always be time and space for the irrational and emotional. PathetiK (with a malutong na "K" sa dulo!), but somehow it helps. Incidental and peripheral, which makes it healthy.
At this point, it's still healthy, and it's wiser to keep it healthy. If I know what's good for me.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
get back in line, soldier
i ought to try not sleeping for 48 hours straight, like what i had to do when we were shooting the short film. or when i was still writing for that kilig chorva, feeding myself sugar, caffeine, and nicotine from extra joss, instant coffee, and yosis i had turned to for comfort, each time i had to come up with an 18-page audio-video script overnight.
nah. that was, what, so many lifetimes ago. i've been through a handful of experiences since then. the fil-am movie, the short film, the parties, the new acquaintances/friends. i've evolved into a different person somehow. not quite the same as i had been before.
so what's to fear? the 6:30 pm shoot tonight that i have yet to prepare for? the lack of good locations to find within the limited timeframe? the assignment that has yet to shoot and write itself in time for saturday? the physical fatigue that i'm starting to feel after these 48 hours? the fumes and the flaws, the height of non-reason, my impractical decisions, the need to rely on no one else but myself, the emotional highs that i stubbornly seek in the wrongest, most futile places?
nothing. maybe i'm just tired and sleepy. i haven't had sleep and i wonder what's friggin keeping me.
the work, above all else. next to the dream, that is. but everything else is just in the periphery.
focus, beeyatch, focus!
nah. that was, what, so many lifetimes ago. i've been through a handful of experiences since then. the fil-am movie, the short film, the parties, the new acquaintances/friends. i've evolved into a different person somehow. not quite the same as i had been before.
so what's to fear? the 6:30 pm shoot tonight that i have yet to prepare for? the lack of good locations to find within the limited timeframe? the assignment that has yet to shoot and write itself in time for saturday? the physical fatigue that i'm starting to feel after these 48 hours? the fumes and the flaws, the height of non-reason, my impractical decisions, the need to rely on no one else but myself, the emotional highs that i stubbornly seek in the wrongest, most futile places?
nothing. maybe i'm just tired and sleepy. i haven't had sleep and i wonder what's friggin keeping me.
the work, above all else. next to the dream, that is. but everything else is just in the periphery.
focus, beeyatch, focus!
more random shrandom
not-so-hectic activities of yesterday (and early this morning):
1. field research work for the current assignment at 11:30 am.
2. a meeting with the bossings at 12 noon.
3. training at the control room at 5 pm.
4. back to the same meeting at 7 pm.
5. meeting wrapped up at 2 am.
6. previewing/writing a 1-minute profile script at 2:30 am.
7. done with the writing assignment at 7 am.
8. went home at 8:30 am.
9. wasting precious time blogging (instead of sleeping) at 10:30 am.
a predictably not-so-hectic itinerary for today:
1. tentative shoot for the new assignment at 12 noon.
2. writing of initial script structure for the new assignment immediately after shoot.
3. accomplishing of additional tasks for my two writing assignments.
4. previewing/pre-editing of footages from the 12noon shoot.
5. submission of 1-minute profile script for the new assignment before Feb. 2 turns to Feb 3. Hopefully hopefully hopefully, several hours earlier.
it's thursday. two days to go. mahgawd. i'm really going through with it. let the games begin.
funny scenes from the past two days:
Scenario: Conference table. Midnight. A big meeting that's been goin on for too long with too many attendees in it.
Scene: Right in the middle of exchanging text messages with my seatmate ("uy, check out (the guy sitting at the other end of the table), he's flirting with (the guy sitting next to him)", "the floor director's gay, right?" and other inanities that could only come from the Hopelessly Bored), i notice the two fellows from across the table whispering to each other, looking at me, grinning.
Me: (amused) Bakit?
they keep grinning. they look amused that i noticed.
Me: (grins back nervously, getting paranoid) Bakit nga?!
Fellow 1: (loud enough) Bluey totoo ba?
Me: Ang alin...?
Fellow 2: Di ka pa nagkaboyfriend?
i almost laughed out loud. in relief, somehow. oh, THAT. not what i'd been suspecting. whew.
Me: Ha?
Fellow 1: NBSB ka daw?
Me: (jokingly demanding) pano mo nalaman?! (thought bubble: secret yon eh!)
Fellow 2: (looking incredulous, ignoring my question) Bakit?
it was hardly the time to discuss my love life (or lack of one, that is) in the periphery of a work meeting. not with people i've only known for, what, five days. and yes, not with F.G. within hearing distance.
by this time everyone on our side of the table (bored cogs-in-the-wheel like me) were curiously looking my way...including FG. arghh. if it were just the two fellows and me it wouldn't be that big a deal. but he was there. that made a friggin difference somehow.
Scenario: Resto at lunch break with FG and Seatmate from last scenario.
Scene: Chitchat over the guys who had made the mistake of falling for FG and consequently got themselves rejected. Silly fools! Haha. Of course, ang haba ng hair ng lola. And it's so silly, because he was probably, quite simply, in the right place at the right season. It's not exactly Pretty-Boy season around the common workplace these days, ya know, may drought nga ata sa mga crushable na lalake, and people do need to have someone to lurve and worship every once in a while, so the likes of FG will probably do for the majority of them who are into those spiffy-lookin types.
Me: so pano mo nalaman na type ka pa rin ni (name of common acquaintance)?
Seatmate: oo nga, pano mo malalaman? (nagre-research din for future personal reference, hehe)
FG: eh...halata naman sa mata pag tumitingin sya e.
for a moment it sank in on me. the eyes are windows to the soul, didn't they say that. could they be windows to the proverbial, most-friggin-overrated "heart", as well? i was thinking these things and for a moment there, while i was looking at the person, i felt that i had inadvertently, unintentionally bared myself.
shit.
if he had noticed anything the slightest sign would have been him everting those eyes. pulling the moat back up, in the subtlest of ways. he's probably done this rejection "style" dozens of times before, he's already mastered it. haha!
i know i'll always have a soft spot for this princess. but i don't want to be reduced as a mere statistic. a member of the "fan club".
haha. yuck.
i'm glad he's around, though. he's a great addition to the survival kit.
1. field research work for the current assignment at 11:30 am.
2. a meeting with the bossings at 12 noon.
3. training at the control room at 5 pm.
4. back to the same meeting at 7 pm.
5. meeting wrapped up at 2 am.
6. previewing/writing a 1-minute profile script at 2:30 am.
7. done with the writing assignment at 7 am.
8. went home at 8:30 am.
9. wasting precious time blogging (instead of sleeping) at 10:30 am.
a predictably not-so-hectic itinerary for today:
1. tentative shoot for the new assignment at 12 noon.
2. writing of initial script structure for the new assignment immediately after shoot.
3. accomplishing of additional tasks for my two writing assignments.
4. previewing/pre-editing of footages from the 12noon shoot.
5. submission of 1-minute profile script for the new assignment before Feb. 2 turns to Feb 3. Hopefully hopefully hopefully, several hours earlier.
it's thursday. two days to go. mahgawd. i'm really going through with it. let the games begin.
funny scenes from the past two days:
Scenario: Conference table. Midnight. A big meeting that's been goin on for too long with too many attendees in it.
Scene: Right in the middle of exchanging text messages with my seatmate ("uy, check out (the guy sitting at the other end of the table), he's flirting with (the guy sitting next to him)", "the floor director's gay, right?" and other inanities that could only come from the Hopelessly Bored), i notice the two fellows from across the table whispering to each other, looking at me, grinning.
Me: (amused) Bakit?
they keep grinning. they look amused that i noticed.
Me: (grins back nervously, getting paranoid) Bakit nga?!
Fellow 1: (loud enough) Bluey totoo ba?
Me: Ang alin...?
Fellow 2: Di ka pa nagkaboyfriend?
i almost laughed out loud. in relief, somehow. oh, THAT. not what i'd been suspecting. whew.
Me: Ha?
Fellow 1: NBSB ka daw?
Me: (jokingly demanding) pano mo nalaman?! (thought bubble: secret yon eh!)
Fellow 2: (looking incredulous, ignoring my question) Bakit?
it was hardly the time to discuss my love life (or lack of one, that is) in the periphery of a work meeting. not with people i've only known for, what, five days. and yes, not with F.G. within hearing distance.
by this time everyone on our side of the table (bored cogs-in-the-wheel like me) were curiously looking my way...including FG. arghh. if it were just the two fellows and me it wouldn't be that big a deal. but he was there. that made a friggin difference somehow.
Scenario: Resto at lunch break with FG and Seatmate from last scenario.
Scene: Chitchat over the guys who had made the mistake of falling for FG and consequently got themselves rejected. Silly fools! Haha. Of course, ang haba ng hair ng lola. And it's so silly, because he was probably, quite simply, in the right place at the right season. It's not exactly Pretty-Boy season around the common workplace these days, ya know, may drought nga ata sa mga crushable na lalake, and people do need to have someone to lurve and worship every once in a while, so the likes of FG will probably do for the majority of them who are into those spiffy-lookin types.
Me: so pano mo nalaman na type ka pa rin ni (name of common acquaintance)?
Seatmate: oo nga, pano mo malalaman? (nagre-research din for future personal reference, hehe)
FG: eh...halata naman sa mata pag tumitingin sya e.
for a moment it sank in on me. the eyes are windows to the soul, didn't they say that. could they be windows to the proverbial, most-friggin-overrated "heart", as well? i was thinking these things and for a moment there, while i was looking at the person, i felt that i had inadvertently, unintentionally bared myself.
shit.
if he had noticed anything the slightest sign would have been him everting those eyes. pulling the moat back up, in the subtlest of ways. he's probably done this rejection "style" dozens of times before, he's already mastered it. haha!
i know i'll always have a soft spot for this princess. but i don't want to be reduced as a mere statistic. a member of the "fan club".
haha. yuck.
i'm glad he's around, though. he's a great addition to the survival kit.
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