hooooo humrmm

my day off. the second to the last. gad i can't wAIIIIT. 11 days and counting.

i went home today in sunny spirits, even if i had finished up a bit later than my self-imposed 12noon cutoff. maybe it was the strong coffee, the laughter i had had for lunch, the sunshiney afternoon. frog princess and the comfy company we'd kept at the piecing-the-story-together-room all morning. no one else can make me laugh out loud more than he. corny puns and all.

happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

well screw those purgatorial moments. screw the sarcastic/cross/condescending beeyatches on earth. screw everything that's ever given me that sinkin-shrinkin-shrivelin feeling, each time i'd remember. and yes, screw those friggin idiot boards.

it's gonna be over soon. but for now, let's just try to hang on.

the end will prompt another beginning. god-willing. goin back to my mother's womb, where the pulse of this girl's life has always been. no amount of money can compensate for the healthy feeling of being in the right place and the right job. no shitload of sleep can recharge a tired psyche. mapagod ka para sa isang bagay na natutuwa kang gawin, itulog mo lang yan tapos wala na. pero mahirap yatang maka-recover sa pagod na hindi pisikal. hanggang ngayon dala-dala ko pa.

screw it all and dwell on what you're there for, dwell on those happy thoughts every now and then, think of the beach, your bed, those lazy cebu afternoons. better yet, think of that glowing prize at the end of a work-day. your freedom. the sooner you're done with the work, the sooner you'll be able to get outta there, the sooner you'll be home. it all depends on you. like how most things do.

gad, the thought of that never fails to jolt me to action.

dibidis on my couch-list:
1. millions
2. a history of violence
3. constant gardener
4. dogville
5. the stepford wives

these days, i...
...watch too few movies.
...hardly watch tv except when the show's\ airing. (pity)
...sleep too little.
...angst too much.
...smoke too much.
...coffee too much.
...spend too much.
...give too much premium to people who would've been "just another one of those" at an ordinary time. well. special times call for special surviving mechanisms.
...should smile more often.
...am starting to breed zits on my forehead. which only happens on toxic days.
...am a walking toxic dump.
...hardly write at all.
...don't sing videokes no' mo'. (sad)
...forget those daily prayers sometimes. i need them.
...am procrastinating again. (what's new)