ho hum.
tired.
got work tomorrow at 8 am.
i pray, please, let me not oversleep.
i love working in the mornings except for the getting-up-early part of it.
another plus is that nothing much happens in the mornings, which translates to less work in the piecing-the-story-together room.
dearie dear, i do hope it stays that way. baka by saying it nabuyag ko at biglang may explosive na mangyari tomorrow.
i pray not.
two weeks to goooo. and it's hello, outside world.
hay. money money. next payday is a full eleven days away.
i want a digital still camera.
i pray that that seed project that my former co-worker's been talking about pushes through. if it does, it would be coming at the perfect god-blest time.
i miss the movies.
watching them. making them.
i wonder what happened to my dreams of becoming a world-class filmmaker someday. mukhang lately di ko na muna yon ginagamit para maging drive at ma-survive ang bawat araw. pano ba naman, eh iba ang mundong ginagalawan ngayon. ibang-iba. the tense, chaotic, money-driven, ratings-driven machine that requires you to go on automaton mode.
that's what i've been trying to do. don't think about it, just do it. so maybe that was what one co-worker has seen when he made that comment at 5 am this morning.
in the middle of putting toothpaste on his brush he said something that made me smile. and made me think as well.
him (sounding earnest): can i tell you something? after this i won't bug you anymore.
me: bakit, anong problema?
him: when i saw you enter the gates this evening i thought you were very pretty. and then i saw you working at the control room later, with your headset and your hair in clumps, you looked very different from when you came in earlier. get me?
me: pwedeng pakiulit? you lost me after that thing about my hair being in clumps.
him: sige try ko. (thinks very hard)
me (jokingly): naka-drugs ka no?
him (vigorously shakes his head): what i mean to say is, the effect you had on me kanina was, talaga...(trails off), and then you went to work and you started looking...(trails off). i'm saying this matter-of-factly. and for someone who values looking good...
me: i don't really care if i don't look good (haha. liar)
him: i could be wrong.
me: so you're saying i should resign?
him: i'm just saying that you look prettier when you're happy. yun lang.
me (puffs on my smoke. haha, may yosi na pala ako at this point): ok. thanks, ___.
him: toothbrush na ko.
(he leaves)
put in a straightforward and disarmingly quiet manner, i took it as a compliment. so basically it's a euphemism for "pangit ka pag di ka masaya", given na rin the possibility na baka naka-juts lang yung tao, but still. hehe. fg would never have said anything like that to me.
it made me smile but it also made me think. because for a person who's not a close friend, that was some insight. when i'm at work in the control room i just try to do it and not think if i'm happy or sad or whatnot. so it's curious to hear it from another person that he thinks i'm not happy with the work because it shows in my physical appearance. hahah.
who knows. maybe i am not actually unhappy. maybe i'm actually enjoying it. but it still made me wonder if he is actually more perceptive than i thought.
too late on in the game to think about that. and too late on in the night to even mull about it. work starts at 8am tomorrow. fresh or not fresh, we just gotta do it, baby. and the prize at the end of the day's race is your freedom. from house arrest, even if only for the rest of the day.
that's what i really love about an early shift. i get to sleep. sleep. sleep.
wait. my hair is in clumps when i put on that headset? i should use a lot less of that conditioner then, when i wash my hair.
ha. ha. HA!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment