of course not

depressed.

must be the day. must be a bunch of little thingies slabbered on together. must be the hecticness of every day for god-knows-what-reason.
maybe just one little glimmer in the dark and i'll be back in happy spirits again. but no. i refuse to believe that. because to believe in that is to acknowledge that it's the major cause of my low spirits.

of course not.

maybe i'll just smoke another cigarette.

* * *

make good use of your time, bluey. this is exactly the time you've asked and prayed for. so do something productive. instead of lapsing into old habits.

read the signs. make no excuses. choose between black and white, and nothing in between. revive the beeyatch in you. somebody tried to snuff it out before and you let him, don't let anyone snuff it out again. it's good to be beeyatchy sometimes. it's healthy to let out angsts sometimes. we can't all be sunshiney mahoney everytime. it kills out the passion and makes zombies out of us.

read the signs.

no ifs or buts or maybes.
basta kung anong napapansin mo ngayon, yon na yon. it's emotionally safer to detach that way, than to cling on to non-truths.

faith should not be a virtue this time. like how it's always been, in cases like these.