hate it, love it

dazed. confused. lost in time.
it's always like this. but today the sadness, the melancholy, over the non-normal neuro's bothersome thoughts has taken away a lot of the happiness i usually get from days like these.
walking along a shaded road, the breeze blowin on a brillo summer day, and yet the storm clouds in me wouldn't clear.

i hate it.
the silence. the waiting. the uncertainty. the second-guessing.
it's harder if you're a non-normal neuro. if you overanalyze and overread into things.

i hate it, too.
when the non-normal neuro rears its ugly head. for the flimsiest of reasons. anywhere, anytime. subconsciously, it's an effort to find reassurance.

if you love me, you will calm me down. if you love me, you will make the first move to reach out and say sorry, even if it's not your fault.

irrational, my saner self says. that's why each time the non-normal neuro b**ch takes over for a moment, just long enough to spew off acid, the saner self has to make amends, clean the mess, compensate for the irrational behavior.

i hate it.

* *

diamond-in-the-rough motto #1:
"say no to wastage"

diamond-in-the rough motto #2:
"ang basurang itinapon mo, babalik din sa yo"

diamond-in-the-rough motto #3:
"tardiness is next to ugliness"

diamond-in-the-rough motto #4:
"a hug is the perfect stress-buster"

diamond-in-the-rough motto #5:
"don't leave home without a hanky"

diamond-in-the-rough motto #6:
"gary l1sing is the funniest guy on earth"

haha. love it!