Saturday, March 31, 2007

ar-kan-suh and other sleepless ramblings

as predicted. the two weeks that passed saw me living through a whirlwind.
haggard, but i've been through worse. Da Pwamis was somekinda worse. Da Haus stint was even mucho worse. but there were days, three consecutive days, when i'd go from one shoot's packup straight to the next shoot's calltime. sans sleep, sans shower and bath, sans sense or sensibility. praying--literally--for dear lord to rev me back up to life, if only for the sake of the rest of the day's shoot.

na-trauma ako at some point. pwamis. parang ayoko na munang mag-shoot for a while.

there were haggard days, but there were light ones. i wish i had a pen and paper at hand for every interesting moment that would pass. ambilis ng mga araw. bawat araw may kalakip na bunch o' memories, na pag hindi mo sinulat, matatabunan na naman ng bunch o' memories na kalakip ng susunod na araw. saya. kung pwede lang mag-blog na lang araw-araw para lang may documentation.

april na halos. birthday ko na. birthday na rin ni frog princess. hehe.
katapusan ng buwan. it's another one of those. sana maraming-marami pang araw na ganito forever. hehe.

tatlong projects. yung isa, on-hold, in principal photography limbo. yung isa, currently grinding. yung isa, trilogy na natapos na ang first 1/3 at magsisimula pa lang ang isa. sayang maglagare, feeling mo busy ka. kaso minsan nakakahiya din mag-absent pag may nagkakasabay. as much as possible hindi ko na gagawin yon.

dalawang projects. yung isa, aksyun-akyunan na cebu ang location. yung isa, war-film. parehong na-postpone. shucks. sayang. gusto ko pa namang yumaman this summer. haha.

isang project. yung paborito kong direktor (of the landslide movie fame) ang gagawa. excited ako. somekinda.

well, on second thought, parang di na mashadow.
kahit nga yung fact na magbi-birthday na naman kaming sabay ni FG, di na rin exciting for me.

ohmigawsh, am outgrowing my gay fixations. halleluiah.

* * *

actually, crush ko pa rin si direk. kasi brilliant ang mga pinagsusulat nya sa blog nya. may isang entry dun na may kaugnayan sa salitang "arkansas". haha. according to direk's blog, ang tamang pagbigkas ng salitang "arkansas" (ar-kan-suh) ang isa sa mga indicators kung
"catch" nga ba ang jowa mo o hindi.

tinry ko to.
sumablay e.
actually, hindi nga nya alam kung saan yung arkansas.

natawa talaga ko. kasi predictable. pero hindi ibig sabihin non na minus pogi points yun. kasi naman, hindi naman sa pagiging sexist ano, pero ilang tipikal na straight na lalake lang ba sa pilipinas ang makakaalam ng tamang pronunciation ng "arkansas"? kung mapo-pronounce mo yun ng tama, either Amboy ka, geek ka, o bading ka.

haha. kumusta naman ang logic nun.

* * *

ack. sobrang init. strangely, hindi ako preoccupied sa summer. usually naha-high ako during this time of the year. nanakaw na yun sa kin, dahil sa trabaho at ilan pang factors. panalo ang pagka-high ko nung isang taon. kasi para kong presong bagong laya. rarin to start anew but rarin to go to the beach, above all else. dreamin of sun, sand, and sparkling waters. ngayon napurnada na naman ang cebu fantasy ko. okay lang. gotta give some to get some. lahat ng bagay may panahon. will be reunited with the sea again, soon or someday. marami pa namang summers ang darating sa buhay ko.

a moment. minsan overrated, lalo na pag nilagay mo sa konteksto ng pagiging "maigsi" ng buhay. life is short so relish every moment, blah blah. may dint of truth naman, pero on the downside, may tendency kang malunod sa present. sa bawat moment na parang isang pitik lang sa lifetime mo. when next month, next year, o kahit ten years from now, magiging malayo na ang concerns mo sa mga concerns mo ngayon. life being short is one way to look at it, but if you're going to live for a few more decades, a moment is just a droplet in time. a passing ghost. lilipas, mawawala. iiyak ka ngayon, sasaya ka ngayon, the present will become the past in a span of a moment, pero patuloy pa rin ang buhay mo. kaya wala din. not wise to give too much premium to the present--or how you feel at present--kasi lilipas din sya.

wala, naisip ko lang. umi-insomniac na naman kasi ako.

* * *

na-miss ko nang mag-blog. hay!

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