DAHIL THROWBACK THURSDAY NAMAN- PUBLISHING THIS DRAFT from 2 years ago.

Joys and Lessons from 2017

Pessimist me would've rephrased it as "joys and pains", but 37 years on earth and I've come to realize that pain is given to us for a purpose. Most of the time, to teach us lessons. That's the kind of pain that is not unwelcome. Kung may blind spot ka about yourself at may kailangang matutunan, sometimes it takes pain to ram the lesson into your head. And heart. And very being.

But when it comes to pain I've had in 2017--- really, it would not be right to complain about it. I have much more to be thankful for, and I'm not BS-ing. Others have known greater pain, so it would not be right to make a big deal out of mine.

But I did have a few lessons learned. sometimes the semi-hard way. The stressful way. The emotionally grueling way.

But, let's start with the joys I've had in the year that just passed:

The blessings I've had for years now. Love. Family. Friends. Our daughter, Audrey. Sabi ko nga nung 2011, hindi ako magrereklamo kung status quo, basta pagdating sa pamilya ko, at sa mga taong mahal ko, walang magbabago. My marriage is not perfect (I don't know if anyone else's is! Define perfect?), but it's a steady, stable, content one. And I am so blessed and grateful to the Lord for a husband who may not be a passionate romantic, but a principled, faithful, steady kind of guy whom I know I need not be worried about. I am one of the lucky ones, I hope he does not change, Lord. If ever, only for the better. A little lambing would be a great add-on though. Haha.

Family. My mother. My father. My mother-in-law.  My in laws. The people in my family's life. Thank you Lord for them, who make our lives happier, easier, more harmonious. Para kaming nagbabahay-bahayan ng asawa ko sa totoo lang, with the full support of our Mommy A. Thank You Lord, for Mommy A. And thank You Lord, for my mother, whom I literally can't live without. Thank You Lord, for my husband's brother, who has lent us his house, this beautiful space that we are living in. So many things to be thankful for, since 2010. Sana po hindi sila magsawa.

Friends. By now I've come to realize who my true friends are. At this stage, it's hard for me to be emotionally committed to new people--  and I don't really label people anymore (maingat na ako sa label na "friend" ko sya-- because with that label comes commitment maybe, or because friendship, to me, has taken on a deeper meaning, and I haven't really come across a lot of people during my 30s that move me enough for me to give them that "friend" label.

Work. There have been more lessons than joys, truth be told. But the joys are, well, connected to the lessons. you get to appreciate what you have when you are taken out of the situation you've somehow taken for granted. So my joys this 2017 when it comes to work--- kind, considerate bosses. Harmonious working relationships. And yes, money. We work for money, I have always unabashedly admitted that. But fulfillment from work you can never really take out of the equation, otherwise hindi ka tatagal. So am I fulfilled at work this 2017? Not as much as I had been in 2015, but I have learned lessons, and that's something to be joyous about.

Add to that, discovering really good series online. Narcos. Orphan Black. Boring pakinggan, pero kasama ang panonood sa quest ko to want to be better at my job. Ain't I the luckiest gal? Watching series and movies as part of the job!  Tuloy lang ang pag-eevolve, somehow, as a writer, as a storyteller. Learning a few new tricks. Respecting story characters more. Going back to my instinctive storytelling desires (twists! unpredictable stuff! shock value!) and merging that with what I have already learned.

Little sources of thrill. Oh, Logan. You changed my 2017.