i wasn't in my element yesterday. work-wise. dang. we shot in quiapo and we only finished two scenes. it rained in the afternoon and, since the remaining scene to be shot was supposed to be done in the exteriors, the Whites decided to set it aside for the B-roll Day (the day after the Official Last Shooting Day, reserved for all remnant shots/scenes) and proclaimed it a wrap.
wasn't in my element because i could've done better. it bothered me, the little slip ups. the van that wasn't supposed to be there in the background. the stall that should've been there. the picture that should've been behind the Lead Girl's pocket. why didn't i notice these things? syempre wala namang masyadong nakapansin, ako lang ang nakakaalam sa mga booboo-lettes ko kahapon, but still it bothered me. there's no room for more than two mistakes if you're a good worker. buti na lang hindi nahalata ni direk.
it's another of those things, you know. the director doesn't seem to take the continuity of details all that seriously. often he'd dismiss it with an "It won't matter..." whenever I'd remind him (with editing in mind, of course) of a continuity detail from Master Shot to Tighter Shot or Reverse (sorry for being technical...hay, di ko maiwasan). I'd jokingly tell him silently, GANUN NAMAN PALA, E ANO PANG GINAGAWA KO DITO? hay angst. haha!
still, every day is a challenge for me to do my job better. and do beyond my own scope of duties. a lot of complaints i've been hearing about our assistant director and I, as a subordinate somehow, feel that I ought to try to make up for his shortcomings. pero pano? wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes. baka ako maka-offend. oh well, i guess i should just try to do as much as i can and be sensitive about other people's feelings as well.
actually mas gusto kong maging assistant director. mas masaya atang trabaho yon, kesa mag-memorize or mag-followup kung bihis na ang artista/nandyan na ba ang lahat ng props/mag-relay sa clapper kung ano ang number ng shot. haha! someday i know i ought to try it in the mainstream. i've done it partially in "nasaan ka man" (the claudine-echo-diet movie of last year). but that's a special case, i had the director's trust from concept-phase (which was why i ended up being his mouthpiece-cum-writer on the set), but there's nothing like earning the position from the ranks up. officially. and then i wouldn't have to worry myself over whether the Lead Actor used his right or left hand in the Master Shot. Haha.
tomorrow is going to be Day 18 of 25 days. time flies, so they say. isang linggo na lang pala, packup na kami. it's a happy and (somewhat) sad thought at the same time.
haha. but work will always be on top of my list. by the end of this project, i should have convinced as many workmates as i could that i'm reliable enough to be a "contact"--so that when they have projects in the future, they'd remember me.
haha! cold-blooded tactical beeyatch. anything to get the work-ventures goin on and on and on, ayt?
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
i will go back to this one year from now
these days, i love...
...my favorite blue jeans, red sneakers, and minitee with the QPIDS logo
...wearing my hair up while at work (keber na kung mukhang loshang, mainit e)
...remembering everything
...directing talents (or "extras", as how the Westerner co-workers call them)and getting them to act right.
...early packups
...late calltimes
...hearing Current Crush try to talk in Tagalog
...seeing Current Crush without the, erm, belo (a shame to hide such nice hair)
...getting at least 5 hours of sleep
...multiple locations in one shooting day
...Wet Ones
...doing more than just my designated work
...oh, that face!
...having that face smile at me
...unsolicited treats and freebies at work
...days off
...a day's job done well
...extra joss for those long hours
...menthol yosis every now and then (arghh)
...coming home
...my favorite blue jeans, red sneakers, and minitee with the QPIDS logo
...wearing my hair up while at work (keber na kung mukhang loshang, mainit e)
...remembering everything
...directing talents (or "extras", as how the Westerner co-workers call them)and getting them to act right.
...early packups
...late calltimes
...hearing Current Crush try to talk in Tagalog
...seeing Current Crush without the, erm, belo (a shame to hide such nice hair)
...getting at least 5 hours of sleep
...multiple locations in one shooting day
...Wet Ones
...doing more than just my designated work
...oh, that face!
...having that face smile at me
...unsolicited treats and freebies at work
...days off
...a day's job done well
...extra joss for those long hours
...menthol yosis every now and then (arghh)
...coming home
Sunday, December 04, 2005
the anecdote of the wet ones
an adventurous day today.
we shot scenes the entire morning inside a moving bus. one of those big tin-can, ordinary-fare types, sans the air conditioning.
it was hot and sticky inside when the bus wasn't moving. we were all breaking up a sweat by 10 am. while waiting for the camera to be set up, he picked up a pack of pink Wet Ones from the floor and turned to me. "Do you want to have some?" was what I heard.
"sure." i replied almost instantly. how coincidental, i thought--i had one of those packets of Wet Ones, too, and they were also of the pink variety. and now he was offering them to me. awww. could it be fate?
"no, i said if i could have some." he said. "i think these are yours." i looked down at the pocket of my belt bag and saw that my Wet Ones were, indeed, gone.
"oh. sure." i said, slightly embarrassed. embarrassed because i was somekinda bingi, not to mention presumptuous for assuming that he wanted to offer me anything more than this job (erm, which he didn't, on second thought). and also because i had seemed to eager to take the offer, despite the fact that I had all the while been thinking that I had my own pack with me. Argh.
hahaha. pano naman kasi napakaOA ng american twang mo, dude. sino ba namang pinoy ang hindi mabibingi every once in a while. as he proceeded to wipe the wet napkin all over his sweating neck n' nape i decided that i ought to forget the incident. even if it was one of those rare instances when he would talk to me about anything else outside of work.
kahit na tungkol sa Wet Ones lang. haha, pathetic.
we shot scenes the entire morning inside a moving bus. one of those big tin-can, ordinary-fare types, sans the air conditioning.
it was hot and sticky inside when the bus wasn't moving. we were all breaking up a sweat by 10 am. while waiting for the camera to be set up, he picked up a pack of pink Wet Ones from the floor and turned to me. "Do you want to have some?" was what I heard.
"sure." i replied almost instantly. how coincidental, i thought--i had one of those packets of Wet Ones, too, and they were also of the pink variety. and now he was offering them to me. awww. could it be fate?
"no, i said if i could have some." he said. "i think these are yours." i looked down at the pocket of my belt bag and saw that my Wet Ones were, indeed, gone.
"oh. sure." i said, slightly embarrassed. embarrassed because i was somekinda bingi, not to mention presumptuous for assuming that he wanted to offer me anything more than this job (erm, which he didn't, on second thought). and also because i had seemed to eager to take the offer, despite the fact that I had all the while been thinking that I had my own pack with me. Argh.
hahaha. pano naman kasi napakaOA ng american twang mo, dude. sino ba namang pinoy ang hindi mabibingi every once in a while. as he proceeded to wipe the wet napkin all over his sweating neck n' nape i decided that i ought to forget the incident. even if it was one of those rare instances when he would talk to me about anything else outside of work.
kahit na tungkol sa Wet Ones lang. haha, pathetic.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
after a not-so-long day
the challenge of doing what you're meant to do, it's always there. sharpening your memory. concentrating on what needs to be remembered. and why.
but somehow at some point you will be compelled to wonder if you're not doing enough. that maybe, you oughtta not be just standing by and remembering, offering some physical assistance whenever the person-in-charge-of-the-certain-task is not within immediate reach. wouldn't want to unwittingly insult anyone by doing their work (just as i wouldn't want them to do the same to me), but still, moments will come that you will be compelled to rethink. maybe i should be doing more.
maybe i would. if i could put in something extra on top of doing my designated job well, then why not. anything to get the scene shot as soon as possible, right.
right.
and then there's the...personal stuff. somehow when it comes to the occupants of the "presidential table" during meal breaks, i clam up. go on introvert mode. i'm open and chummy with the rest of the team, but i'm finding it hard to treat the foreigners in the same sociable way that i would treat my fellow pinoys. i'm just...ilang. not because they're foreigners but for some other reason that makes me somehow hate myself. just a little bit more, each day.
eccentric beeyatch.
and they probably sense it. especially the Leader of the Tribe. he'd be the first to sense because of all the members of that Tribe he's the one I work with in closest proximity.
i'm bothered by that. somewhat bothered by that. makes me almost wish that we could get this project done and over with. i enjoy it but somehow the black spot is getting bigger each day. i'm alienating myself to the person that i should be closely working with. a no-no. being professional doesn't necessarily mean you can't be congenial. i can mingle with all kinds of people under ordinary circumstances, but these are not exactly ordinary times. i've been colored with guilt. can't treat them as friends, because i'm afraid they would find out my little secret.
well, not that the "secret" is so totally true. not really. not anymore. i was just a vulnerable soul back then. the wakeup calls are always there everyday to shake me out of it.
another early, early day tomorrow. have to go to bed now. i wish i could just be as normal as possible whenever he's around.
but somehow at some point you will be compelled to wonder if you're not doing enough. that maybe, you oughtta not be just standing by and remembering, offering some physical assistance whenever the person-in-charge-of-the-certain-task is not within immediate reach. wouldn't want to unwittingly insult anyone by doing their work (just as i wouldn't want them to do the same to me), but still, moments will come that you will be compelled to rethink. maybe i should be doing more.
maybe i would. if i could put in something extra on top of doing my designated job well, then why not. anything to get the scene shot as soon as possible, right.
right.
and then there's the...personal stuff. somehow when it comes to the occupants of the "presidential table" during meal breaks, i clam up. go on introvert mode. i'm open and chummy with the rest of the team, but i'm finding it hard to treat the foreigners in the same sociable way that i would treat my fellow pinoys. i'm just...ilang. not because they're foreigners but for some other reason that makes me somehow hate myself. just a little bit more, each day.
eccentric beeyatch.
and they probably sense it. especially the Leader of the Tribe. he'd be the first to sense because of all the members of that Tribe he's the one I work with in closest proximity.
i'm bothered by that. somewhat bothered by that. makes me almost wish that we could get this project done and over with. i enjoy it but somehow the black spot is getting bigger each day. i'm alienating myself to the person that i should be closely working with. a no-no. being professional doesn't necessarily mean you can't be congenial. i can mingle with all kinds of people under ordinary circumstances, but these are not exactly ordinary times. i've been colored with guilt. can't treat them as friends, because i'm afraid they would find out my little secret.
well, not that the "secret" is so totally true. not really. not anymore. i was just a vulnerable soul back then. the wakeup calls are always there everyday to shake me out of it.
another early, early day tomorrow. have to go to bed now. i wish i could just be as normal as possible whenever he's around.
learning to take the blame
thanks to a long taxing day yesterday, i wasn't able to go to work today.
i feel bad about it. like how i feel a little bit bad about a few other things.
lost my phone the other night at work. losing your saved contact numbers could make your life a little more difficult than normal. bahala na ang diyos sa culprit.
i dreamed last night. and they weren't good dreams. my laptop had a somekinduva short circuit on the set. it caused a lot of damage and delay to the production. my director was hostile and the producer wanted to fire me. the last few seconds of that dream i realized that i was only dreaming. and then, soon enough, i returned to the surface. alarm clock ringing, it was time to go to work, but my entire being felt like hot lead. i felt like i was burning up, from fever or drowsiness i couldn't tell, but every cell in my body was screaming GET US BACK TO BED, TAO LANG PO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO TOLERATE THE ABUSE THIS TIME.
and so i had to relent. and i feel really bad about it. maybe it's just a matter of time management on my part. maybe if i had learned to prioritize things then maybe i wouldn't have gotten these nasty colds-and-coughs. i should stop blaming everybody else for my own faults. like that phone. and my absence today. even the fact that my nose is congested and my lungs are aching from all this coughing. gets mo, bluey? claiming responsibility for your actions is what i'm saying.
i'm going to work still. after lunch, do a half-day. at least i'd have missed only half of what was shot today.
i feel bad about it. like how i feel a little bit bad about a few other things.
lost my phone the other night at work. losing your saved contact numbers could make your life a little more difficult than normal. bahala na ang diyos sa culprit.
i dreamed last night. and they weren't good dreams. my laptop had a somekinduva short circuit on the set. it caused a lot of damage and delay to the production. my director was hostile and the producer wanted to fire me. the last few seconds of that dream i realized that i was only dreaming. and then, soon enough, i returned to the surface. alarm clock ringing, it was time to go to work, but my entire being felt like hot lead. i felt like i was burning up, from fever or drowsiness i couldn't tell, but every cell in my body was screaming GET US BACK TO BED, TAO LANG PO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO TOLERATE THE ABUSE THIS TIME.
and so i had to relent. and i feel really bad about it. maybe it's just a matter of time management on my part. maybe if i had learned to prioritize things then maybe i wouldn't have gotten these nasty colds-and-coughs. i should stop blaming everybody else for my own faults. like that phone. and my absence today. even the fact that my nose is congested and my lungs are aching from all this coughing. gets mo, bluey? claiming responsibility for your actions is what i'm saying.
i'm going to work still. after lunch, do a half-day. at least i'd have missed only half of what was shot today.
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