Monday, February 13, 2006

this, too, shall pan out

i've been loving our family dinners lately. mama, papa, me, iye, all in the same table, eating together.

at the dinner table i tell them nearly everything about me, from the trivial to the vital, and it's true that if people love you, more often than not they'll be a lot more patient with you. and so they listen.

well lately i've been telling stories that my parents don't seem to want to hear. and they want me to stop. stop telling, and plain stop whatever. or else.

i'd hate to arrive at the day when i'd be all secretive and quiet in front of my parents. because it could only mean one thing. at this point. weird, but someone's whispering inside my head that i'm somehow, kinda wishing for that day to arrive.

noooo. you don't really wish for that.

goodness-badness. lucidness-madness. tug-o-war. but in cases like these, the goodness-lucidness side of me has always won out. the built-in firewalls have always kept me safe.

in a way, though, they have also shut me out.

3 comments:

kriszia said...

Sad, but I think part of it is that they just...don't get it.

saffron_blue said...

kriszia: my parents are pretty cool, it's just that i go a little overboard with the stories i tell sometimes. truth is, maybe they get it more than i do. the sadder thing. my mind gets it, but the rest of me just doesn't wanna get it. get it? :-)

saffron_blue said...

Dear self of 2006-- thank God for parents, and how they raised you. the firewalls have kept you safe, because you're meant for someone wonderful-- You've met your true love at this point! You just hadn't realized it! But no, it's not the person you'd been telling your parents about. mabuti na lang!