discovery since yesterday:
1. despite the firewalls, i'm actually more vulnerable than i thought.
2. the day that i would get to receive flowers on valentine's day--now that would be the day.
3. despite the "stay away, i bite" aura (something that i was probably born with) i have with me, i'm actually just a naive little dudette here. a friggin young girl.
discovery today:
1. of the 100 avoidances and precautions i'd taken in the past 25 years, nothing could protect me from the harm that one mistake could cause. 1 mistake is all that it would take. and everything i've held in a glass case would be in smithereens. heartbreaking.
2. i don't know why, but i'm so tempted to make that mistake right now. it's mad. maddening. it's crazy-mad and it makes me friggin angry-mad.
3. inversely proportional. that's me. the more love there is on the inside, less warmth i show on the outside. i can't help it. i was built that way. and i used to wonder why i'm still a member of The Club?
discovery 1 hour ago:
1. i'm stupid, but i'm not the only one.
2. i feel special, but we all did. or do.
3. the more i think about it, the more i can't stop thinking about it.
4. i am being manipulated. by my own feelings.
5. the moth HAD known exactly what it was getting close to. but the flame was just too damn dangerous to resist.
6. it's those kinds of looks, those kinds of glances, that can keep you up all night. boolsheet. i'm too old for this already.
3 comments:
used to be in "The Club" too...but then i realized that alienating yourself from the one you had eyes on ( or should i say, "love") hurts just as much as getting heartbroken yourself. and so i quit.
not that im telling you to actually "woo" him. just be yourself when you're with him. no sense in building firewalls. we all do get hurt...in one way or the other. =)
* row-jane! *
hey jing: yeah. that's what i'm so scared of. reaching that stage where you get hurt after you've invested so much. at least sa ganito wala pa naman akong naiinvest kundi time and thought.
kape tayo dude. some fine day. hay.
but you DO still get hurt, dude!!! come to think of it, minsan mas mahirap pa yung hanggang isip lang, madaming what-if's and what-could-have-been's, daming questions and sometimes, regrets!
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