a lifetime's work starts with day one

got a job offer from big brother this morning. for a couple of reasons, i had to turn it down. if the offer had come three weeks ago i would have hopped in--who wouldn’t want to be part of the hottest boobtube craze in town. but we gotta do what we gotta do.

whenever i remember to do so I’d ask god to help me find my so-called “purpose”—The Vocation, if you will. I’d been sidetracked for half a year I’ve kinda lost sight of the original plan I’d laid out for myself. But my, ain’t god brilliant. not to mention subtle. giving out signs is way too simplistic for him. there was no concrete symbol around for me to spot and draw my conclusion from, nothin of the sort. god played with time, circumstance, and probability to give me an answer.

Well, I’d like to believe that he did. Today, after that phone call. i’d like to believe that He gave me "F@llowing Rosa" at the precise moment that it came to me—two weeks ago--because I was born into this world to make films. Haha. Pure assumption, I know. But somehow it inspired me. Maybe I am meant for The Dream after all.

This morning i had to make a (quick, quick) choice, but it wasn't hard to do so. somehow pbb just doesn't fit in the scheme of my current life.

like how some people don't, as well. :-)

met new people today. My new family, for the next month-and-a-half. caucasians, amerasians, fellow pinoys. I travelled all the way from marikina to project 6 (commuting is stressing now, for someone who's been used to cab rides for the past eight months, hehe) for a prod meeting with staffers of "F@ll@wing Rosa". today i was back to the getting-to-know-you part of the job. feeling your way around and into each person's personality. for the newbie production trainee that was me about a year ago it would've been another intimidating setup, but thank god i've somehow eased up. qpids had a lot to do with it. and nasaan ka man, to a certain extent.

back then i thought freelancers like me never really get to nurture a home, but it really is just a matter of perspective. every new workplace can be a new home. new workmates, a new family. a new project, a new life. for as long as it lasts. keber na kung mahirapan kang mag-move on when the project's done and you've emotionally attached yourself to 'em all. you'll need all the passion and affection you can ever summon inside of you to survive and succeed with the least pain possible.

the producers, the director, and the director of photography were trained the western--and sad but true, the more professional--way of filmmaking. can't wait to absorb as much stuff as i could.