and it's back to the old habit (almost...but not quite)

these days i've been closely convening with someone who, once upon a (mad) moment, used to be very, very special. several months ago i would've been in heaven. but i realize that, while i may have "recycled" crushes more often than i would have wanted to, this one is definitely arriving at its expiry date.

i think.

but the old habit that was the old feeling, it doesn't go away all that easily. there are traces of it in the way i look at him, the way i say his name, the very fact that i mentally bookmark every moment in his company that the frog-gatized me of eight months ago would have swooned over. and yes, the compulsion. to want to take care of this person. to feed him chocolates when he hasn't had breakfast yet, to try to move heaven and earth just to fetch the things that he needs.

old habits die hard.