90/10 principle for the spoiled little brat

i remember the 90/10 principle.
90 percent daw of what happens in our lives stems from how we react to things, and 10 percent stems from what we somekinda cannot control.
so it's our attitude that can either make or break our day.

may problema yata ako sa attitude. cause habang tumatagal lumalala ang pagiging pessimist ko.

marami din akong pwede gawing interpretations sa 90/10. maganda syang combination of numbers.

* * *

last night i went to the wrap party. party mode, pusturada with matching girlygirl skirt. i stuck out like a sore thumb. haha. pano ba naman kasi ang inexpect kong party, nasa isang madilim na lugar, yung tipong me strobe lights at pwedeng dumancing-dancing, at sa sobrang dilim hindi na masyadong mapapansin ang mga piso sa pata-tim kong mga binti. eh kaso ang liwanag pala. parang may binyag sa function room na yon!

not entirely bad. na-conscious lang ako. kasi laging nangyayari to, na pag me katrabaho ako sa shoot na makikita ako in cleaned up, Not-Working mode, nagugulat. uy, nakaskirt ka? uy, me makeup? uy, pwede ka palang magmukhang tao? flattering siguro kung hindi ko lang alam na kinukumpara nila ko sa itsura ko pag nasa shooting kami. hehe.

at the end of the night, i was bored to death. alang nangyayari. pagkatapos ng kainan, beso-beso ang mga taartits, at kaming mga staffers tunganga factor in between sips of beer and red wine. i started wishing that i were somewhere else, savoring the peace and quiet of a Sunday night.

* * *

i won't deny it. that i'm sad about the time factor. that, despite the fact that my mind understands, nagmamarakulyo pa rin ang Spoiled Little Brat sa loob ko. yung Spoiled Little Brat na hindi nakakaintindi--o ayaw umintindi--ng damdamin at sitwasyon ng iba, at preoccupied lang sa mga pangangailangan at kagustuhan nya. hindi ko sya ipagtatanggol, kasi wala talaga sya sa lugar. at hindi ko sya hinahayaang magmarakulyo beyond the four corners of my psyche, hindi ko sya pinapakilala, dahil magiging unfair sya sa ibang tao.

ako lang siguro ang makakaintindi sa Spoiled Little Brat na to. kung bakit ganon na lang sya magtampo at magmarakulyo. kasi mahal ka nya. at namimiss ka nya. at gusto ka nyang makasama, much more often than what our schedules would allow these days.

90 percent of our happiness stems from how we react. if it were you, maybe you wouldn't be sad. but i have to fight off the Spoiled Little Brat in me each time i miss you. each time i'm compelled to want to see you, but can't, because you have obligations to do. and need to sleep, every once in a while.

hay. 90/10. i just need to remember.